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Author Topic: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree  (Read 4079 times)

Offline SonnenKinder

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You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« on: February 20, 2010, 09:47:54 AM »
In November of 1905, an enraged Mark Twain sent this superb letter to J. H. Todd, a patent medicine  salesman who had just attempted to sell bogus medicine to the author by way of a letter and leaflet delivered to his home. According to the literature Twain received (p1,p2,p3,p4), the 'medicine' in question - The Elixir of Life - could cure such ailments as meningitis  (which had previously killed Twain's daughter in 1896) and diphtheria (which had also killed his 19-month-old son). Twain, himself of ill-health at the time and very recently widowed after his wife suffered heart failure, was understandably furious and dictated the following letter to his secretary, which he then signed.   




Transcript


J. H. Todd
1212 Webster St.
San Francisco, Cal.

Dear Sir,

Your letter is an insoluble puzzle to me. The handwriting is good and exhibits considerable character, and there are even traces of intelligence in what you say, yet the letter and the accompanying advertisements profess to be the work of the same hand. The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. It puzzles me to make out how the same hand could have constructed your letter and your advertisements. Puzzles fret me, puzzles annoy me, puzzles exasperate me; and always, for a moment, they arouse in me an unkind state of mind toward the person who has puzzled me. A few moments from now my resentment will have faded and passed and I shall probably even be praying for you; but while there is yet time I hasten to wish that you may take a dose of your own poison by mistake, and enter swiftly into the damnation which you and all other patent medicine assassins have so remorselessly earned and do so richly deserve.

Adieu, adieu, adieu!

Mark Twain

Punjabi Janta Forums - Janta Di Pasand

You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« on: February 20, 2010, 09:47:54 AM »

Offline Grenade Singh

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2010, 09:55:12 AM »
lol good insults for the "idiot of the 33rd degree"

Offline Deleted User

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2010, 06:25:50 PM »
hahaha eh ki c

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2010, 06:38:59 PM »
lol good insults for the "idiot of the 33rd degree"
Veer g a word of appreciation from u motivates me  :happy:

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2010, 06:39:44 PM »

Offline Deleted User

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2010, 06:59:33 PM »
a man lyk us  :happy:

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2010, 08:32:28 PM »
i mean human :happy:

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2010, 09:53:27 PM »
human g :mean: :mean:

Offline TheStig

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2010, 12:10:38 AM »
insult wadiya

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2010, 12:37:52 AM »

Offline SonnenKinder

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Offline TheStig

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2010, 01:27:06 AM »
must use the sarcasm sign :D

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2010, 02:51:10 AM »
must use the sarcasm sign :D
hahahahaha i wud download that soon

Offline Y "BB"

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2010, 12:28:27 AM »
awesome hand writing  :okk:
no one can judge d inner thoughts f writer
if translation not provided  :loll:
:@

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2010, 04:43:17 AM »
awesome hand writing  :okk:
no one can judge d inner thoughts f writer
if translation not provided  :loll:
:@
es li ma transcription data

Offline Y "BB"

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2010, 05:12:17 AM »

Offline SonnenKinder

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2010, 06:52:06 AM »
:loll: :loll: :loll:
i tried to ans PL many times but failed. my lappy freezes whenever i attempt to ans a comment :sad:

Offline Y "BB"

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Re: You are an Idiot of 33rd Degree
« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2010, 06:52:48 AM »
i tried to ans PL many times but failed. my lappy freezes whenever i attempt to ans a comment :sad:
GS nu keh
nale ohnu rajai ch rakhiyea kar je freeze hunda aa  :loll:

 

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