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Messages - shoukeen_gabhru
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:51:16 PM »
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
“Rahul, what noise does a cow make?”
“It goes moo.”
“Pinky, what noise does a cat make?”
“It goes meow.”
“Jassi, what sound does a lamb make?”
“It goes baaa.”
“Prito, what sound does a mouse make?”
“Errr.., it goes.. click!”
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:50:32 PM »
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give
5 to Priya,
3 to Sonia and
2 to Neha then what will u get????
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Santa: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:49:38 PM »
Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?
Husband: No dear.
Wife: I’m sure you would.
Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.
Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Husband: Ya, I guess so.
Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.
Husband: No, she is taller than you.
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:48:52 PM »
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.
One day she hung up after 25 minutes….
“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”
“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Banta Singh
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:47:32 PM »
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.
A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”
“Not really,” came the reply. “I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:46:40 PM »
A drunken man is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have you been?“
“I’ve been to the pub,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few miles back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the man. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:45:25 PM »
Wife: Yesterday I saw a very Beautiful Girl.
Husband: Really ?? Then what happened?
Wife: I just kept on Admiring her, On & On..
Husband (Gets Irritated): But, what happened then?
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Wife Smiled & said: Then What ??
I Simply Moved away from the Mirror !!!
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:44:23 PM »
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to her.
Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:43:12 PM »
Grandma of a boy don’t like eating medicine. So the boy went to the doctor and asked what he could do. The doctor tells him a trick.
The boy came into home with some sweet and put the medicine inside it and gave it to Grandma to eat the sweet as she likes it very much.
After eating sweets the Grand son told to Grandma, “I am very happy to see that you have eaten all the sweets.”
Grand Ma replied, “Yes I have eaten all sweets but I didn’t like the seeds inside them and removed all seeds from it.”
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:42:13 PM »
A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:41:26 PM »
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:36:44 PM »
What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).
A: Telegram
B: Telephone
C: Tell a woman
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:35:50 PM »
Two friends were talking by sitting road side.
Suddenly they saw a man came from his car and open it’s door for his wife.
Then one friend told to other, “If a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife.”
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:33:34 PM »
Wife to her husband: Wake up. Some thieves have broken into our house. I think they are now eating the food I made last night.
Husband: Oh! Let's better call the ambulance then.
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:31:59 PM »
The phone bill was exceptionally high.. Man called a family meeting to discuss.
Dad: "this is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, i use my work phone".
Mum: "Me too. I hardly use home phone."
Son: i use my office mobile i never use the home phone.
Al of them shocked n together look at the maid who's patiently listening to them
Maid: "wat? So v all use our work phones. Wats da Big deal?:-P
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:31:10 PM »
Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin? Man: I’m goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking. Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnite? Man: My wife…  :
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« on: July 11, 2012, 06:28:05 PM »
Customer: Waiter, what is this cockroach doing in my chicken soup?
Waiter: Backstroke I think sir.
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« on: July 10, 2012, 02:17:04 PM »
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