The following are quotes from exams and papers assigned to 7th through 12th students and, for the music section, college students. They were supplied by teachers across the nation.

Science:
◦"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
◦"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
◦"To collect fumes of suphur, hold on a deacon over a flame in a test tube."
◦"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
◦"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
◦"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
◦"The largest organ in the human body is the head."
◦"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, then expectoration."
◦"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
◦"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
◦"The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."
◦"Germinate means to become a naturalized German."
◦"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off."
◦"A planet is a body of Earth surrounded by sky."
◦"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
◦"To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in."
◦"The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation."
◦"The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours."
◦"Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about."
◦"We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and the study of rocks."
◦"The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now."
◦"English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse."
◦"People shouldn't be allowed to shoot extinct animals."
◦"Humans are more intelligent than beasts because human branes have more convulsions."
◦"If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence."
◦"A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle."

Medicine:
◦"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."
◦"For head cold: Use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."
◦"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
◦"For fractures: To see if the limb is broken, giggle it gently back and forth."
◦"For dust in the eye: Pull the eye down over the nose."
◦"Blood flows down one leg and back the other."
◦"When you haven't enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier."
◦"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
◦"Many women believe that an alcoholic beverage will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."
◦"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cupids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

Rest in part II :happy: