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Topics - ruubz
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1
« on: September 21, 2016, 04:39:38 AM »
Man on phone: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my
Fishing rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please
pack my new blue silk pyjamas!”
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but looking good…
The wife welcomed him & asked if he caught many fish?
He said “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn’t u pack my blue silk pyjamas?”
You’ll love the answer..!!
She says, “I did…..They’re in your fishing box”
…. Game over ! :laugh:
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« on: September 19, 2016, 02:09:48 AM »
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn’t drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I’d get home in one piece..
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn’t see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
“The other guy is drunk,” Mom,
And now I’m the one who will pay.
I’m lying here dying, Mom…..
I wish you’d get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I’ll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn’t drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn’t think.
He was probably at the same party as I..
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I’m feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don’t think it’s fair.
I’m lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put “GOOD BOY ” on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I’m becoming very scared.
Please don’t cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn’t drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
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« on: September 14, 2016, 07:03:50 AM »
Sat Sri Akal Everybody , Viyaah asi saarey attend karne aan...... te othey kadi kadi kuj ajehe kissey ho jaande nein jo saanu yaad reh jaande nein.....ohna hi kisseyaan nu je tusi aethe share karna chaho te .........
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« on: September 14, 2016, 06:53:04 AM »
SAt Sri Akal Everybody ......tusi ajj tak kehde kehde celebrities nu mil chukke o.... te us tym di koi pic ya kahaani share karna chaho te plzzz
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« on: December 03, 2012, 03:37:42 AM »
VIAH TON PAHLAN :(Before Marriage In Punjab)
Bhocha torna : Viah di sab ton pahli rasam shuru hoyee bhocha toran ton. Bhocha torna means ladki di family formally ladke di family nu viah te invite kardi hai.... jisda matlab hunda hai ki aj ton hun tusi vi viah diyan sariyan tyaariyan shuru kar deyo.Bhoche vich ladke de ghar gandh chithi(formal inviation), a lot of dry fruits,mishri, vichole vicholan de kapde, mithaeee etc. bhejeya janda hai.
Daaj de kapde bnana : bhocha toran ton baad viah diya baaki tyariyan shuru ho jandiyan ne.Us ton baad ghar de saare jee ikatthe hoke kudi de Suits di shopping karan jande ne. jo kapde ladki apne gharo laindi hai ohna nu daaj te jo ladke ghoron aunde ne ohna nu Wari kahnde ne. Daaj de suits di ginti 7, 9 , 11 , 13 ya 15 ho sakdi hai(same for Wari)
Saureyan ton shagun auna : fir vicholan ladke waleyan de gharon ladki layee shagun laike aundi hai. Shagun vich ladki layee kujh suits(that is part of Wari), make up kit, mahndi, mishri, dry fruits, makhane, ladke di pugdi, fulkari, kudi de veer da joda,shagne paun layee laal ribbon,gold set etc. smaan hunda hai.
Shagne pauna : Fir ik din pind(village) vich sab nu sdda bhejeya janda hai ki aj kudi nu shagne pauna hai.Pind diya aurta thaliyaan vich kanak ya munji (jeeri) pake leaundiyan ne.jo shagun di rasam ton baad pind di painchni(raani) laike jandi hai.Fir kudi nu ik lakdi di fatti (patra) te saje pair di tali heth kujh paise rakhke bithaya janda hai. Shagun de smaan chon kangi te ribbon laike usdiyan midiyaan karke gutt kiti jandi hai. Kudi nu shagun ch aya make up da smaan lagaya janda hai.usnu shaugun wale gahne pake us te fulkaari diti jandi hai.Fir bharjayian usde hath te thodi mahndi lake usdi jholi ch kujh mitha(badaana, te mishri etc.) paundiyan nein, te usda muh mitha karwaundiyan ne. Usde muh chuhara lagwake usnu fatti to utha leya janda hai.Manneya janda hai ki usda jootha eh chuhara jo vi khayega usda viah vi chheti hi ho jayega.Pind diyan aurtaan nu ohna diyan thaliyan ch badaana te shagun ch aaya dry fruit, mishri, makhane etc pake dite jande ne. Kudi diyan saheliyan nu thuthi(half coconut) ch eh sab paake dita janda hai.Fir kudi jholi peya smaan sab nu vand-di hai.
Maaiya pauna : Fir next day or same day, mayiya di rasam hundi hai. Fir kudi nu lakad di fatti te saje pair thale paise rakhke bithaya janda hai. Shagun wele kitiayan midiyan te gutt kholke ajj dobara usdi gutt kiti jandi hai. bhabhiyan usnu changi traan vesan da vatna maldiyan ne. fir ik bhabhi kudi nu shagna da gaana ban-di hai. Ae gaana viah ton agle din munda kholda hai. kudi di jholi vich hun ghunghniyan(ubaali hoyee kanak) te gud paya janda hai. Usda muh is naal mitha karwake usnu fatti ton utha leya janda hai.Fir kudi jholi peya smaan sab nu vand-di hai.
Mehndi lagwana : viah ton ik do din pehlan kudi de shagun ch aayee mehndi gholi jandi hai. Fir kise mehndi laan wali nu bula ke ohh mehndi kudi nu te baaki sab saheliyan te rishtedaara nu layee jandi hai.(Ajkal kudiyan us mehndi da sirf shagun kardiyan ne, te khud mehndi beautition ton hi lagwake aundiyan ne )
Chooda Chadaana : viah ton pahli raat ya fir swere khaare(bath) chadaan ton pahlan kudi nu maame walon Choorha(or chooda) chadaya janda hai.Kudi da mama Choorha(or chooda) laike aunda hai. ik praat vich kachi lassi (mix water and milk) pake us 'ch Choorha (or chooda) dhoke, maama 5 5 churiyan karke kudi de dove hathi Choorha(or chooda) paunda hai.Choorha(or chooda) chadake maama bhanevi nu kujh na kujh shagun paunda hai.
Khaare chadaana : Choorha(or chooda) chadaun ton baad khaare chaadaan di rasam hundi hai.khare chadaana means nvaana (or ishnaan karwana).Kudi nu ik fatti te bithaya janda hai. kudi diyan bharjayian us nu vatna lake, usde sir vich dahi paake , usnu changi tran nvaandiyan ne. Fir kudi navaa suit paake tyar hoke use fatti te khadi ho jandi hai. Kudi udon tak us fatti ton niche nahi utardi jadon tak maama usnu kujh shagun ya gift de ke khud uthon utaar ke na laike aave. Fir maama bhanevi nu kujh shagun de ke chuk ke fatti ton niche utaarda hai.
Munde nu shagun laan jaana : Viah ton ik din pahlan kudi de ghar wale munde nu shagun laan jande ne. Kudi de pita ji munde te usde saare parivaar layee kujh bhetaan laike jande ne. Uthe munde nu sindoor da tilak lake usdi jholi goom(coconut)te shagun da baaki smaan pake rasam poori kiti jandi hai.
Jaago kadni : viah ton ik din pahlaan kudi diyan maamiyan jago kad-diyan ne. Pital di ik gagar nu aate de dive bnake badi achhi tran sjaya janda hai.fir maamiyan saare dive baal ke dadkiyan te hor rishtedaara nu naal laike jago kad-diyan ne. Is doraan nankiyan te daadkiyan ch ik mithi ji nok jhok chaldi hai. Jaago nu jaan pahchaan de sare gharaan ch lai jaya janda hai. Ghar wale jaago ch tel paande ne te jaago leaun waleyan nu gidha paun layee kahnde ne.jago wale jinna jinna de ghar jande ne ohna de paani wale parche te kachiyan chullaan bhanke aunde ne.fir last ch ik chhajj bhan ke jago vapis ghar leyayi jaandi hai.
Sehra Ban-na te Surma Pauna : viah vale din munde nu tiyaar karan to baad usde sehra banyea janda ha jo ki munde diya bhaina (sister's) bandiyan ne,sehre de uppar kalgi v sajai jandi ha .us to baad munde dian bhabiyan usnu surma paundian ne, te fer us nu ghori charaaya janda hai .te sagana de geet gaye jande ne.
VIAH WALA DIN :
Milni karna : viah wale din braat de aun te sab ton pehlan Gurdware de bhai ji walon ardaas kiti jaandi hai. Fir doven gharaan de rishtedaara vich milni hundi hai. Like kudi de pita ji munde de pita ji de gall ch haar pake ohna nu koi bhet de ke ohna da swagat karde ne. Ise tran chacha, maama, masar, fufar, veer, jeeja etc. sab di milni hundi hai.
Ribbon ktayee(or saliyan da naaka) : kudi diyan bhaina(sister's) braat de rah vich ik ribbon lagaa ke khadiyan ho jandiyan ne. Munda ribbon katke hi andar ja sakda hai. Par ribbon kattan ton pahlan munde nu apniyaan saliyan nu muh mangeya shagun de ke khush karna painda hai. Taan hi oh usda muh mitha karwake usnu ribbon katan di permission dindiyan ne. Is time kudi diyan bhaina te munde de dostaan vich pyaari ji nok jhok te hassi mazak hunda hai.
Ladies di milni: braat de andar aun te ladies di milni di rasam hundi hai. Jithe kudi di maa munde di maa de gall haar paake, usdi jholi dry fruit, mishri, makhane etc paake usnu koi bhet de ke usda swagat kardi hai. Ise tran ghar diyan baaki aurtaan di v milni kiti jandi hai.
lawaan di rasam : braat nu cha paani peya ke kudi te munde de kujh nazdiki rishtedaar dovaan nu lawaan di rasam layee laike jande ne.Lawaan di rasam layee kudi apne mapeyan naal Gurdware aundi hai te munda apneyan naal. Dovan de aun te Bhai ji dovan nu DARBAAR sahib de sahmne baithan layee kahnde ne te uthe rasma shuru hundiyan ne. sab ton pahlan munde de pita ji usda sehra vdhaun di rasam karde ne.(Darbaar Sahib sahmne munda kalgi te sehra sjake nahi baith da, so usde pita ji usnu utaar ke DARBAAR SAHIB de sahmne rakh dinde ne).
Fir Bhai ji Ardaas karde ne jis vich sirf munda, kudi, dovan de mata te pita ji hi khade hunde ne. Baaki sab baithe rahnde ne.Fir palla fadaun di rasam hundi hai. kudi de pita ji munde da palla (Dupatta that he is wearing around his neck) kudi de hath vich fadaunde ne.
Is ton baad Bhai ji chaar lawaan da path karde ne. Te kudi munda bina kisi di madad de(pahle dina vich kudi nu sahara den layee lawan wele usde veer khade hunde c, par hun is di permission nahi hai) khud hi chaar lawaan SACHE PATSHAH di mehar naal puriyan karke ik pavitar rishtey vich bajjh jande ne.
Fir kudi de pita ji dobara palla kudi ton vapis laike munde nu fda dinde ne. Fir kujh der Raagi kirtan karde ne, te saare munde te kudi di khush-haal zindagi layee duya karde ne.
Jutti lukayee : Lawaan lain layee munda Gurdware de bahar apni jutti utaar ke janda hai. Par kise tran kudi diyan bhaina Jutti luko laindiyan ne. Munde nu Jutti vapis lain layee apniyan saaliyan nu kujh shagun dena painda hai.Is ton baad kudi munde de naal vapis viah pandaal wali jagah(ghar ya palace) jandi hai, jithe saare rishtedaar ohna dovan di jholi shagun paunde ne.
Dhudh pilayee : Shagun puan ton baad munde nu kudi diya bharjayian dudh pilayee di rasam layee laike jandiyan ne. Uthe munde nu te usde naal de kujh 10 -12 dosta, veeran nu 1 ,1 gilaas dudh da pilaya janda hai. Munde nu kudi di bharjayee nu is layee kujh shagun dena painda hai. Uthe hi kudi di bhain nu munde walon gold ring payee jandi hai te baaki sab saheliyan te bhaina layee chandi de chhalle dite jande ne.
Doli turni : shaam nu doli tori jaandi hai. kuri ik thali cho chaul chuk ke apne sir uton di pichhe sutt-di jandi hai.fir apne saare rishtedaara nu mil ke, apne sab close ones nu chhadke jaan de gam ch bhaari mann naal babul gharon vida ho jandi hai.
Fera pauna : pehlan viah ton duje din jake kudi da veer usnu saure gharon laike aunda c tan ki ohh sab nu dobara mil sake. Is nu muklaawe jaana ya fera pauna kahnde ne.ajkal sab kol time di kami karke viah wale din hi eh rasam kar diti jandi hai. Kudi da veer doli turan vele usde naal hi janda hai. Fir oh apne pind di juuh lang ke kise Gurdware ch matha tekde ne. Uthon fir munde doli wali car vapis uthe hi aundi hai jithon doli turdihai. Uthe kudi de sab rishtedaar khade wait karde ne. Kudi da veer fir uthe hi utar janda hai te kudi sab nu ik vaar fir milke vida hundi hai.
Mathha tekna: Saure ghar pahunch ke pahlan kudi te munde nu Gurdware matha tikaan layee laike jaya jandahai. Taaki ghar pair paun ton pahlaan Parmatma da ashirwaad mile te ohh apni new life sukhi sukhi shuru kar sakan.
Tel dhalayee : Munde de ghar sab ton pahlan us pind di nain bahar wale buhe te tel dhaaldi hai. Fir new viahee dulhan ton kujh shagun laike hi raah chhadd-di hai.
Paani vaarna: fir munde di maa apne nuh putar de sir ton paani te gud vaardi hai. Munda maa nu paani vaar ke peen ton rokda rahnda hai te maa peen di koshish kardihai. Fir 5 vaar varan te ohh maa nu khud hi paani pilandahai ki hun maa rajj ke pi lai. Ise tran hi gud varan vele 4 vaar rokda hai te 5 vaar khud hi hath lake khawanda hai.
Muh vikhayee : Fir munde de ghar sab valo navee nuh(bahu) nu muh vikhaye da shagun paya janda hai.
Chuuri diyan grayiyaan(nivala) khawana : fir kudi di sass makhan te shakar rla ke churi bnake laiaundi hai. oh pahla 5 vaar apne putar nu hatheli te grayiaan dindi hai jo oh ik ik karke kha lainda hai.Fir same tarike naal hi kudi di hatheli te v thodi thodi churi rakhi jandi hai jo ohh har vaar kha laindi hai. Pichhe khadiyan sab aurtaan geet gaundiyan ne :
"grayian lai lai ve sass ne ghaleya(bhejeya) bhukha
grayian lai lai ve sass ne ghaleya(bhejeya) bhukha"
"grayian lai lai ni maa ne ghalee(bhejee) bhukhee
grayian lai lai ni sass ne ghalee(bhejee) bhukhee"
Gode bithayee : Fir munde da chhota veer apni navee bharjayi(bhabhi) de gode te (godi ch) baithda hai.oh baithan lage bhabhi nu kujh shagun dinda hai. Bhabhi us nu apne gode ton uthaan layee jinne deor ne dite ne us ton double shagun dindi hai, tan hi oh uthda hai.
kalire khulayee : fir munde di bhain apni bharjayi de kalire kholdi hai. kudi apni nanaan (nanad) nu apni khushi naal kalire khulayee da kujh shagun dindi hai.
Paggdi jholi puana: fir munda apne sir di pagg lake apni bhain di jholi paunda hai, te naale usnu shagun dinda hai.
Gaana khedna : viah wale din hi ya fir agle din gaana khedan di rasam hundi hai. Munde te kudi diyan bharjayian ne mayian vele ohna nu jo gaane bane c oh dovan ne ik duje da kholna hunda hai. Jo kholan te ghat time lgaundahai oh jit gya fir ik praat vich kachi lassi paake us ch ganne, ik rupya, te ik ring dubo diti jandi hai.te dovan ne ring te baaki saara smaan labhna hunda hai. jis ne sab labhke chuk leya oh jit gya. Eh 5 vaari kita janda hai.Dovan de gaane khedan ton baad munda gaane te kujh hor paise kudi di jholi ch paunda hai te kahnda hai
"khatti kamai main teri jholi paayee"
fir ik praat vich chaul pake leyaaye jande ne. Ohh vaari vaari munde kudi ne buk (doven hath ikathe karke) bharke ik duje di jholi paune hunde ne. Is ton vekheya janda hai dovaan da dil kinna nu vadda hai. Eh v 5 vaari kita janda hai.Fir ise traan bukk bhar ke sass nuh ik duji nu dindiyan ne. Eh v 5 vaari kita janda hai.
VIAH TON BAAD :
Got-knala ya lassi pair pauna : ik din munde de saare pind vich sda dita janda hai ki ajj got kanala karna hai, jisnu kujh pinda ch lassi pair pvaana v keha janda hai. Pind diyan aurtan nu den layee rang wale mithe chaul bnaye jande ne. us din sass navee ayee nuh de pair kachi lassi ch dhondi hai.Pind diyan aurtan thaliyan ch kanak ya munjhi(jeeri) laike aundiyan ne. sariyan aurtaan kudi nu muh vikhayee da shagun paundiyan ne te thali h mithe chaul puake laike jandiyan ne.
Peti khulayee : Fir kudi apne Daaj de saare suits vikhandi hai. Aisa karn layee oh apni nanaan nu suit vikhaan layee kahndi hai. jis nu peti kholna bolde ne. Is vaste nanaan apni bhabhi de suits 'cho jo usnu achha lage ohi suit chukk sakdi hai.
Trivenda jana : Kujh din baad kudi de veer usnu usde peke laike jaan layee aunde ne. Is nu trivende da fera pauna keha janda hai. Munde de parivaar walo lain aye jeeyan nu kujh na kujh bhet diti jandi hai.
Trivenda to vapis jaana : Kudi jadon kujh din apne peke rahndi hai tan us ton kujh din baad munda te usde parivaar wale kudi nu lain aunde ne. Us din kudi de parivaar wale ohna nu kujh na kujh bhet dinde ne.
Kamm laana : saure ghar ik din kudi nu kamm laya janda hai. Isda matlab hundahai ki us tron pahlan oh koi kamm nahi c kar sakdi, usne sirf araam karna c, par hun je oh chahe tan lod pain te rasoi ch dujeyan da hath vta sakdi hai, ohna di help kar sakdi hai. Kamm lvaan layee kudi nu 5 ya 7 pede (roti pkaan layee) karan layee, te khaan layee kujh mitha bnaan layee keha janda hai.Fir kudi ghar de sare jiyaan nu khana serve kardi hai. pyaar te shukraane vajo ghar de saare jee usnu shagun paunde ne.
Ehne din tak kudi apne saure parivaar vich kaafi achhi traan rach mich jandi hai. Is ton baad koi khaas rasam nahi hundi te sab viah de mahol cho holi holi bahar aa jande ne.
NOTE: Aes Article ch je koi kami-peshi howe te plz usnu correct karan ch meri help tuhaadi tarfon uthaya sabton vaddha kadam hoega , maafi chahni aan aes article nu punjabi ch post na kar sakkan layi
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« on: October 09, 2012, 04:29:07 AM »
isn't it amazing ?
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« on: October 08, 2012, 11:10:21 AM »
A lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please..
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car..Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Ladies :)
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« on: October 04, 2012, 11:09:17 AM »
How often have you come across a Rs. 40 lakh Silk saree? Chennai Silks , a textile unit has come up with one
Of its kind and it is seeking an unmistakable entry into the Guinness Book of World Records for being the most unique and expensive saree.
The exceptionally stunning saree is meticulously woven with 12 precious stones and metals to depict 11 of Raja Ravi Verma's popular paintings. Explicitly projected is
'Lady Musicians', one of the painter's very famous works that displays women belonging to diverse cultural backgrounds.
Besides, the border of the saree pictures 10 other paintings of the artist that pays tribute to 20th century artist.
The best part of the saree being that the women in the paintings are intricately hand-woven and beautified with jewels of gold, diamond, platinum, silver, ruby, emerald, yellow sapphire, sapphire, cat's eye, topaz, pearl and corals.
Already in the Limca Book of Records, this 40 lakh saree will be the first silk saree that required the use of 7,440 jacquard hooks and 66,794 cards during the weaving process. Moreover, a group of consummate workers took nearly 4,680 hours What ingredients can make sari most-expensive? Fabric, Jewels, Designer brand, or the heritage carried by it. Anything else? Kindly add paintings to your limited options. It has been made possible as a silk sari woven with 12 valuable stones and metals replicating 11 famous paintings of Raja Ravi Verma would create a space for itself in Guinness book of world record with a price tag of Rs 40 Lakh.
To be identified as a 'the world's most expensive sari' for sure, it is designed by handloom weavers of city-based textile house 'The Chennai Silks' and portrays Verma's renowned art work of 'Lady Musicians' featuring women choir from diverse enriching milieu. The border of the sari flaunts 10 paintings by Ravi Verma, which can be seen as a tribute to the celebrated artist. Trinkets made of gold, ruby, diamond, emerald, platinum, silver, yellow sapphire, sapphire, cat's eye, topaz, pearl and coral are all incorporated to embellish the women attribute in the paintings, via convoluted hand woven process. It is being claimed that the production of the sari consumer 4,680 man hours of the highly-skilled weavers, using a double warp.
This is the first silk sari ever produced using 7,440 jacquard hooks (active in interlacing a design) and 66,794 cards (that helped in punching an explicit design using CAD software). The sari has already entered the Limca Book of Records and would be a unique swathe for a would-be bride....
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