Girls problems:

phone mat karo dear,
mom hai near,

dad se lagta hai fear,
Baat hoti nahi clear,

isliye sms karo dear,
without fear and very clear.

Before Marriage
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi milti

After Marriage
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi marti.

After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her blouse. Suddenly, she jerked away, got out of the car is a hurry, and ran home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "A girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On their next date, Carl returned to the country road. As they were kissing passionately, Carl slid his hand up Mary's skirt. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On the third date, the pair returned to the country road. This time, Mary didn't get home until very late. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part."

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad. The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, "Please remove your clothes, Mrs. Thomas."

The woman obliged and removed her clothing.

"Okay, now turn all the way around... Now, lie down please... Uh-huh, I see. Alright, you can put your clothes back on."

While the woman was busy dressing herself again, the doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said to the man. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".
"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"
"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", "Thanks Mom" replies the son.
After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?"
The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."
"That`s great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water.
But Mom", "Yes son?"
"Why the heck are we in the San Diego Zoo?"

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

**********************

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling.

What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

Love, Your Wife

HOR JI KI HAL NE SARAYA DE . YR KOI POST HE KAR DEA KARO MAIN VEHLA BANDHA DASO KI KARA SARA DIN . KURIA NU PATA NAI KI HO GAYA AAJ KAL POST HE NAI KARDEA .  HOR KI HAL EE NAVI PURANI JANTA DA . DEKHO KURIOO KINA SOHNA MUNDA EE TUHADA DEKH K DIL NAI KARDA KI KOI POST HE KAR DAEIAE .PATA NAI YR KI HO GAYA SAB NU . CHALO KOI GAL NAI FIR SAHI FIR TUSI MAINU POST KARNI MEDRE KOI TIME NAI HONA REPLAY KARN DA . FIR MAIN KEHNA OUUUUUUUUUUUU HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HON NAI FIR MILA GE

RAB DA NAMM JAPOO HAR TIME RAB DA NAM LAO CHATING VICH KUS NAI MILNA BOLO SAT NAM SRI VAHEGURU DEKHO MAIN KINA SAREEF HO GAYA TUSI V APNA JEEVAN SAFLA KAR LAO BOLO RAM NAM SATEY HAI

KANJAR+KANJAR=RAVI SANDHU


OYE SADDE JATT NAL PANGA NA LA AHOO