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Messages - ravi_sandhu
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461
« on: October 30, 2007, 03:22:29 PM »
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kabul recently and observed that men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Ms.Walters approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvellous. Can you tell the free world just what enabled women to achieve this reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," said the woman
462
« on: October 30, 2007, 03:17:58 PM »
Gyani Zail Singh went to the US & had a meeting with
Reagan. Reagan said, "I want to show you the
advancement in technology in USA. Come with me."
Reagan takes him in a deep forest and says. "Dig the
ground."
Zail Singh digs.
Reagan says, "More, more, more..."
Zail Singh has now reached a 100 feet.
Reagan says, "So now, did you find anything?"
Zail Singh, "I got a wire!"
Reagan says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years
ago we used to have telephones!"
Zail Singh was very frustrated and he invited Reagan
to India.
In India GyaniJi says, "Now I want to show you the
advancement in India!"
He takes Reagan to a forest and asks him to dig.
After some time GyaniJi says, "More. .. more... more!"
Reagan has now reached almost 400 feet.
Zail Singh says, "Find anything?"
Reagan tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!"
GyaniJi says, "You see even 400 years ago we had gone
WIRELESS!"
463
« on: October 30, 2007, 03:14:34 PM »
Chilhood: When you make faces at mirror. Middle age is when mirror gets even.
Bald man: A person who has lot of face to wash and very little hair to comb.
Marriage: An institution in which a man loses his bachelors degree and a women gets her masters.
Doctor: Who cures your ills by pills and kills you by his bills.
Alimony: A mode of payment that enables a women who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried.
Indian Film Heroines: If they display their assets, the producer recovers his liabilitie
464
« on: October 30, 2007, 03:11:09 PM »
Bholu Ram interviews with world largets company.
A few days later he got this reply:-
Dear Bholu Ram, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bholu Ram jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Bholu Ram continued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.
Dear Bholu Ram ----- pyare singh sahab
You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ---- ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.
No phone call ---- phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya
465
« on: October 30, 2007, 03:06:58 PM »
This incident happened when we were in college. Two Biharis talking
to each other,
" Aaj Mother teresa a rahen hai Kennedy Auditorium mein saam ko aap chalenge
na , hum aap ko 5.30 p.m sharp pe lene aienge, so this fellow didn't know who
is Mother Teresa and replied back, " nahin bhai aap hi chale jaiye hum Englis
film nahin dekhte hain.
466
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:59:22 PM »
There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when the T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and so the T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickets , this fellow answered well what will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the T.T.E said what if you lose both of them, so this guy said then why do I have a monthly pass.
467
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:49:47 PM »
(May not apply towards NRIs returning from Gulf, they have seen worse)
10. One who requests the autorickshaw driver to drive slowly
and clutches the seat-cushion nervously.
9. One who just bought a case of Bisleri mineral water.
8. One who gets upset if the train is only six hours behind schedule.
7. One who is nervously gazing at the Green channel at the
Customs clearance of airport.
6. One who prefers eating fruits to Poori at the train stations.
5. Basically, any man who is changing a baby's diaper.
4. One who does not wait, for the coolie at the train station, and
hauls his/her own 30" suitcase.
3. One who feels embarassed to run after the railway conductor, for
reservation.
2. One who says, "say cheese" when taking a picture.
1. One who has gained more FREQUENT FLYER mileage from trips to
the toilet.
468
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:46:25 PM »
What would be changed if Laloo Prasad
becomes India's Prime Minister:
1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning)
Buffalo Race (evening)
6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va
7. National Toy : A. K. 58
8. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
9. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
10. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
11. National Recreation : Pro-creation
Laloo's Slogan:
Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo,
Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo
469
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:43:13 PM »
Sardar Joke....A guy went to a boot camp and saw that all sardarjis only had one arm. When he asked a sardarji, he said, " Well, we are told to put a grenade under our armpit and count to ten. When we count to ten, they blow up...we never do aything and our arms get blown up." ---Khushwant Singh
470
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:39:31 PM »
Santa and Banta are employed in a computer hardware store as movers.
One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Santa being energetic that day does not feel the computer to be heavy at all.
At the same time he sees that Banta is struggling very hard to lift his computer.
At this Santa says, "What Banta, my computer has 500 MB Hard Disk yours has just 250, even then you cannot lift it?"
At this Banta thinks for a while and replies "That is right, but my Hard Disk is full and yours is empty"
471
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:37:00 PM »
Once upon a time there was a boy named karla he did a very bad thing during the day and he came home and hid from his mom, in the washroom.. Mom finds out and is really mad sooo his mom was like!!!!!
KarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and he saiddddd hunjiiiiiii. Haly lumpuk di aaaaaa!!! ( "its still hanging")
472
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:34:36 PM »
Once there was a sardarji working in the 13th floor of a building.
All of a sudden a man came and said to him "Banta Singh, your daughter just died in a car accident".
In panic, Banta Singh jumped off the building floor. While at the height of the 9 th floor, he remembered that he didn't have a daughter. At the height of the 7th floor he realized that he wasn't married. At the height of the 3rd floor, he realized he wasn't Banta Singh.
473
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:32:12 PM »
Harjinder Singh: "Jaspender Singh, what is 4 + 5"?
Jaspender SIngh replies, "it's 9"
Harjinder Singh: "well, the, what is 5 + 4"?
Jaspender Singh replies,"you trying to fool me sala, it's 6"
474
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:30:34 PM »
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I
borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our
phone book."
475
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:28:07 PM »
One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.A lady came and
asked him, " Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh." Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Singh answered, "No, No, Sir me Banta Singh!" Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing???" The other
Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." The
Singh slapped him on his face and said, " O Stupid, idiot Person. Everyone is looking for you and your are sitting over here
476
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:25:39 PM »
BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE.
Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!
477
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:23:13 PM »
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto(lottery)".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck!!
Back to the temple.................. "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the
voice of God
"Bholaji, buy a damn lottery ticket first".
478
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:18:56 PM »
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news."
The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life."
"Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?"
The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
479
« on: October 30, 2007, 11:13:06 AM »
Kab unki palkon se izhaar hoga,
Dil ke kisi kone mein hamare liye pyaar hoga,
Guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein,
Kabhi to unko bhi hamara intezar hoga.
480
« on: October 30, 2007, 11:09:53 AM »
Mohabbat Ka Imtihaan Aasan Nahi,
Pyaar Sirf Paaney ka Naam Nahi,
Muddatein Beeth Jaati Hai Kissi Ke Intezaar Mein,
Yeh Sirf Pal Do Pal ka Kaam Nahin.
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