A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" " Yes."

"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, " No ."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

" Yes," whispered the child, " a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

" No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on t he phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter"

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle.. " ME."

A group of notorious robbers plan to extort some money from a Brahmin by threatening to kidnap his wife.

They send a note to him which reads : "Pandoo, Pay us Rs. 20,000 or your wife will be kidnapped."

The robbers get the note returned with the Brahmins' response: "I won't pay you Rs. 20,000 but I am interested in your second proposal."

A Brahmin and a Rajput share the same compartment in a train. Early in the morning the Brahmin chants a loud mantra, which angers a Rajput who is trying to continue sleeping. He asks the Brahmin,
"Hey, Pandoo [ slang for Pandit ], why do you keep shouting ?"
"It keeps elephants away," replied the Brahmin.
"But there are no elephants here for thosands of miles. Besides, no elephant could ever get into this train," said the Rajput.
"See how effective it IS"

A Dalit goes to the dentist and has a cavity filled. After the work, the Dalit asks how much he owes, and the dentist says, "No, no...I would never charge a poor Chandalla." The Dalit thanks him and leaves.

The next day, when the dentist gets into the office, he finds a basket full of fruits waiting for him.

Then a Muslim mullah visits the dentist and has some work done. Afterwards, he asks the dentist what he owes him, and he says, "Oh, no, of course I wouldn't charge a faithful follower of Allah!" He thanks him and leaves.

The next day, when the dentist arrives in his office, he finds a nice plate of well-cooked biriani [ a Muslim delicacy ] waiting for him.

A Brahmin visits the dentist for a checkup and a filling. When all is done, he asks the dentist what he owes him, and the dentist says, "Oh, no, I would never charge a Brahmin!" The Brahmin thanks the dentist and leaves.

The next day, when the dentist gets to his office, he finds.....four other Brahmins waiting for him!

Desi who falls at people's feet: Charan Singh
Desi who falls at peopls' feet and stays there: Gir charan Singh
A gangster Punjabi Female: Hard Kaur
Punjabi who drinks only beer: Just-beer(Jasbir) Singh
Punjabi who has only one drink : Just-one (Jaswant) Singh
Punjabi who visits every temple: Har Mandir Singh
Punjabi Female's boyfriend: Her-Pal Singh

Pyaaaray Lal,
I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last person who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetary. Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.
Your Uncle Herolal fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned as they couldn' get the gate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

President Clinton went to a school to talk about disasters, he went into a
third grade class, and asked the kids what a disaster would be, several
hands went up, he called on a young boy. "I think a disaster would be if
my mommy and daddy were killed in a train wreck." the little boy said.

"No, that would be an accident." President Clinton told him. he called on
another boy to answer, and the boy said "I know what a disaster would be,
if our school bus tipped over, and we all died, that would be a disaster."
"No" Mr. Clinton said, "That would be a great tragedy."

No one's hand went up for a while, then a very small girl slowly raised
her hand, "I think it would be a disaster if you and Mrs. Clinton were in
a plane crash, and were killed." "That's right, how did you know?" Clinton
asked. "Well," she said, "I knew it wouldn't be an accident, and it
wouldn't be a great tragedy."

Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because
It more clearly reflects their party`s political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation.
Halts production
Discourages cooperation
Protects a bunch of dicks.
Gives a sense of security while screwing others.

A Mute Norwegian woman has received over $1,700 in bills for calls to phone sex lines. Although she was rendered speechless since a stroke in December and her phone was disconnected, the phone company keeps billing her. It is plainly obvious she has no need for phone sex. The telephone company is screwing her.

A teenage girl is very anxious to offer a small lovely "TRIANGULAR" plot of land for sale centrally situated on the slopes at the level area in " THIALAND" but unobserved by any one till this day.
For the last 19 years plot was tenderly cared and looked after. This plot is "VIRGIN" and extremely fertile and can bear fruits even on the first planting. For the last 4 years the plot is covered with very fine grass which is very better and tender. No chemical are yet used for removing the grass which has covered the whole area deticably.
There is also a small "BOREWELL" hidden in the shrubs and no test is so far carried, but to as certain to the portability of water.Offers are immediately invited from prospective buyers with full and energetic capital who can put immediately.
The buyers should be strong enough to labor hard on the plot and plough in very hard with his "OWN TOOL". Although initially, it will be very hard and difficulty, but once the capital is put in he will not repute and will be delighted to have ventures in into site. It is guaranteed that there will be fully full co-operation from the owner if the buyer is ready to put straight his capital immediately.
No partnership please. No subletting, neighbors are awaiting for the an opportunity to trespass the plot. So hurry up to be the first to enter into the site . AREA : 100 Sq.cm. DEPTH OF WELL : 300 m.m