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Messages - ravi_sandhu
Pages: 1 ... 12 13 14 15 16 [17] 18 19 20 21 22 ... 27
321
« on: November 02, 2007, 02:09:19 AM »
One day a lawyer and a girl were flying on a airplane Then the
lawyer asks her if she wanted to play a game the girl
ignored him so the lawyer explained it anyways I'll
ask u a question and if you get it wrong the u will give me 5 $
and vise versa and the girl still ignored him so he said
if i get a question wrong i'll give u 50 dollars and u only have
to give me 5 dollars. so the girl with some interest now
decided to play the game
So the guy goes how far is the moon away from the earth? So
the girl reaches in her purse and gives the man 5 dollars
Then the girl asked him what goes up a hill with 3 legs and
comes down with 4 since the lawyer didn't know he gave
the girl 50 $ and asks her what is the answer?
then the girl reaches into her purse and give the man 5 $
322
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:47:46 PM »
ROZ logo se tere Pange honge,
ROZ tere ghar me dange honge,
AGAR mujhe SMS nahi kiya to yaad rakhna,
TUMHRE 12 bacheche honge or sare LAFANGE honge..
323
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:38:19 PM »
Kal jab mile the.
To dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehete hain
Your file not found!
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
Woh repeat kar doonga,
Tu na mili to apni zindagi,
Ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga
324
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:33:57 PM »
Aap kya jano hum tumhe kitna yaad karte hai,
Harpal tumhari faryad karte hai,
Roz khat likhte hai Cartoon network ko,
Aap ko dikhane ki mang karte hai....
325
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:30:47 PM »
Haseen tum ho to buray hum b nahi..
Mehlon mein tum ho to sarkon pe hum b nahi..
Dosti kar k kehtay ho BUSY ho?
Kaan khol k sun lo FARIG hum b nahi..!
326
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:25:31 PM »
Mein ne chand ko dekha to aap nazar aye
Mein ne taroon ko dekha to aap nazar aye
Mein ne phoolon ko dekha to aap nazar aye
Plz aap zara side par hona takay hmein kuch aur nazar aye.
327
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:21:35 PM »
Tumko dekh kar aisa lagta hai ki aadmi pehele bandar tha,
Dekho gussa mat hona warna lagega ki aadmi aaj bhi bandar hai.
328
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:18:12 PM »
Aaj kuch gahbraye se lagte ho,
Thodey kapkapaye se lagte ho
Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,
Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho.
329
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:15:42 PM »
Har khushi ko teri taraf mood doo.
Tery liye chand tare tak tood doo,
Khushiyoo k darwazey tere liye khol doo,
Itna kaafi hai ya do char aur jhoot bol doon.
330
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:13:21 PM »
Gunghat mein tujhe dekha to deewanna hua,
Sangeet ka taraana hua, shamaa ka parwana hua,
Masti ka mastaana hua,
Jaise hi gunghat uthaya iss duniya se ravana hua.
331
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:57:42 PM »
Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of
"Lord of the Flies."
* Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some water paints,
and no pants.
* "OK, kids! Gather 'round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!"
* Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers.
* No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret's School for the Gender
Ambiguous directly into the NBA.
* Practice of "trapping and killing your lunch" not mentioned in brochure.
* Leather-clad teacher announces that today's letters are S and M.
* The classroom hamster is really just a wad of cotton from an aspirin bottle.
* She can't say her ABC's, but she can re-sole your Nikes in 20 seconds flat.
* Even the baby bottles have pierced nipples.
* For snack time, it's always anchovies and Clamato.
* "Do-Bee" always seems to have the munchies.
* The teacher sends home a note reading, "Your snot-nosed little bastard keeps
getting into my tequila."
* On the first day, the children are divided into "pimps" and "hos."
332
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:54:21 PM »
Two friends meet in the street. One looked forlorn and almost on the verge of
tears. The other man said, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved
in?"
The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and
left me forty thousand dollars."
"That's not bad."
"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew
kicked the bucket and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear."
"I'd like that."
"Last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a
million."
"The how come you look so glum?"
"This week - nothing!"
333
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:50:09 PM »
A man came home and found his wife in bed with another man. He challenged the stranger to a duel. They walked into another room and closed the door. Then the man said to the stranger, ?Why should any of us die? Let?s both shoot into the air, then we fall to the floor and wait. She will sprint in. To whomever she will rush, let that man have her.? The stranger agreed. They both shot into the air and fell to the floor. The wife rushed in, looked at the two bodies and shouted, ?Darling, you may come out, they both croaked.?
334
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:19:39 PM »
There was a young woman who lived with her grandmother. One night the granddaughter came bouncing down the stairs dressed to go out to a party wearing a see through blouse without a bra. Her grandmother told her to go back up stairs and ?dress decent.?
The young woman said, ?No, I want to show off my rosebuds? and went out the door.
The next day the granddaughter came outside to find her grandmother on the porch wearing the see through blouse without a bra.
?Grandmother!! What are you doing? My boyfriend and a couple of other friends are coming over any time now!? she cried. ?Please go change your blouse, I?m so embarrassed!!?
The older woman replied, ?Well if you can show off your rosebuds then I can show off my hanging baskets.?
335
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:17:09 PM »
A man was in his apartment wearing only the slips. His wife said, ?Dress up, guests must be coming every moment.?
?Let them see me this way, so they know how you feed me.?
?Then take off also the slips, so they may tell me what for should I feed you.?
336
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:14:52 PM »
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, ?Okay, Mrs. Jones, what?s the problem??
The mother says, ?It?s my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings; she?s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.?
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says,
?Well, I don?t know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant. About 4
months would be my guess.?
The mother says, ?Pregnant?! She can?t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla??
Darla says, ?No mother! I?ve never even kissed a man!?
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, ?Is there something wrong out there doctor??
The doctor replies, ?No, not really, it?s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I?ll be d*mned if I?m going to miss it this time!?
337
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:12:50 PM »
After having watched a number of fashion shows, a woman became obsessed with
the modern vogue. She started inventing all kinds of attires. Once her husband
came home and saw his wife walk naked in the apartment.
?What?s that?? he asked.
?Ah, you?re ignorant of the new trends in fashion. This is just my new erotic
costume.?
?Then at least iron it.?
338
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:10:36 PM »
A man came home and found his wife in bed with another man. He challenged the stranger to a duel. They walked into another room and closed the door. Then the man said to the stranger, ?Why should any of us die? Let?s both shoot into the air, then we fall to the floor and wait. She will sprint in. To whomever she will rush, let that man have her.? The stranger agreed. They both shot into the air and fell to the floor. The wife rushed in, looked at the two bodies and shouted, ?Darling, you may come out, they both croaked.?
339
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:08:25 PM »
There was a young woman who lived with her grandmother. One night the granddaughter came bouncing down the stairs dressed to go out to a party wearing a see through blouse without a bra. Her grandmother told her to go back up stairs and ?dress decent.?
The young woman said, ?No, I want to show off my rosebuds? and went out the door.
The next day the granddaughter came outside to find her grandmother on the porch wearing the see through blouse without a bra.
?Grandmother!! What are you doing? My boyfriend and a couple of other friends are coming over any time now!? she cried. ?Please go change your blouse, I?m so embarrassed!!?
The older woman replied, ?Well if you can show off your rosebuds then I can show off my hanging baskets.?
340
« on: November 01, 2007, 02:06:02 PM »
Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says, ?Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!?
The mom says, ?The bigger they are, the dumber they are.?
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
?Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy?s!?
The mom says, ?The bigger they are, the dumber they are.?
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
?Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and
more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!?
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