A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers.

The woman says, " Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid" , said the woman.

The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house.

The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?"

The maid replied, "he is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."

The woman is fuming. she says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

The maid says, "What will I have to do?"

The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with."

The maid puts the phone down, the woman hears footsteps and the gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there's no pool here."

A long pause and the woman says, "Is this 555-4821?"

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

A tiny racing car was developed by American scientists.
The Americans then sent the car over to Japan to see what the Japanese
could do to better the car.
The Japanese added sport wheels and an aero kit to the car, they than sent
it to the U.K.
The British scientists, to better the car, added a sound system and window
tint. They then sent it over to the Chinese, who
added on a lowered suspension to the tiny car.
The Chinese then sent it over to India. The Indian scientists, looked at
the tiny car, appreciated all the modifications
the other countries had made,
turned it over and stamped a sign on it.... MADE IN INDIA!!!

BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE.

Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!

A rich widower miser went back to India and married a young village girl. The girl did not like his hugging and kissing all the time. He thought of a scheme to teach his wife not to hate his American life style.

He bought a piggy bank and told his wife that every time he kisses or hugs her, he will put a rupee coin in the piggy bank and at the end of month she can open the bank and buy a new saree with the money.

The scheme worked very well. The young wife showed more willingness to be kissed and hugged. At the end of the month he gave her the key and told his wife to open the piggy bank.

What he saw did not please him. There were many 5 and 10 rupee bills along with rupee coins in the box. Where did these come from he demanded angirly. I've been putting only rupee coins. Not everyone is as kanjoos as you replied the wife.

: How do you diable a PAKISTANI missle launcher?
A: You cut the rubber band.

Q: Have u ever seen a PAKISTANI war hero?
A: Neither has PAKISTAN

Q: did u hear about the the latest PAKISTANI invention?
A: the new automatic parachutes. they open on inpact.

Q: how do u sink a PAKISTANI battelship?
A: u put it in water.

Q: did u hear about the 747 that crashed into a cemetry in karachi?
A: the PAKISTANI officials have recovered 3000 bodies so far.

Q: did u hear about the PAKISTANI admiral who at asked to be burried at the sea?
A: 5 PAKISTANI sailors died digging it.

Q: did u hear the shutdown of the karachi national library?
A: somebody stole the book.

Q: ur looked in a room with saddam hussien, adolf hitler & a PAKISTANI. u have a gun with only 2 bullets. what do u do?
A: shoot the PAKISTANI twice to make sure he is dead.

Q: how can u tell when a PAKISTANI is lying?
A: his lips are moving.


Q: did u hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of PAKISTANIs?
A: he threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

Duniya buri ho sakti hae aap nahi Duniya bewafa ho sakti hae aap nahi Duniya gandi ho sakti hae aap nahi Kuttay ki dum sedhi ho sakti hae aap nahi.....

Girls problems:

phone mat karo dear,
mom hai near,

dad se lagta hai fear,
Baat hoti nahi clear,

isliye sms karo dear,
without fear and very clear.

Before Marriage
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi milti

After Marriage
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti
tajmahal banana chahata hoon
lekin mumtaz nahi marti.

After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her blouse. Suddenly, she jerked away, got out of the car is a hurry, and ran home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "A girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On their next date, Carl returned to the country road. As they were kissing passionately, Carl slid his hand up Mary's skirt. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On the third date, the pair returned to the country road. This time, Mary didn't get home until very late. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part."