A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I
borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our
phone book."

BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE.

Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!

A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news."

The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life."

"Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?"

The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

Mohabbat Ka Imtihaan Aasan Nahi,
Pyaar Sirf Paaney ka Naam Nahi,

Muddatein Beeth Jaati Hai Kissi Ke Intezaar Mein,
Yeh Sirf Pal Do Pal ka Kaam Nahin.

He's so dumb, he thinks the Kentucky Derby is a hat.

He's never slept with his wife. He says it isn't honorable to sleep with a married woman.

He's so dumb, he thinks the English Channel is a British T.V. station.

He's so dumb, he thinks the St. Louis Cardinals are appointed by the Pope.

He lost his dog, but he won't put an ad in the newspaper. He says it's no use -- his dog can't read.

He still hasn't bought an electric toothbrush. He doesn't know if his teeth are AC or DC.

He jumped off the bus backwards when he heard someone say, "Let's grab his seat when he gets off."

He heard that a man gets hit by an automobile every twenty minutes. He said, "What a glutton for punishment, that guy!"

There's something half-hearted about the way they say, "Oh wow -- Underwear".

They spend Christmas morning making up games involving wrapping paper.

You see them trying to shove everything back up the chimney.

Spelled out in Legos on the front lawn are the words "You're Cheap!!.

Moments after they unwrap gifts, you see them for sale on E-Bay.

Your son simply refuses to understand why you couldn't get him two hours alone with Britney Spears.

They cite your gifts as a major factor in their decision to convert to Islam.

You wake up and find the head of Sponge Bob in your bed.

They ask, "Where'd you buy this stuff -- Crap `R' Us?"

Hasrat hai sirf unhe pane ki,
aur koi khwahish nahi is deewane ki,

shikwa mujhe unse nahi khuda se hai,
kya zarurat thi unhe itna haseen banane ki?.

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "love him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."