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Topics - ravi_sandhu
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261
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:46:53 AM »
President Clinton went to a school to talk about disasters, he went into a
third grade class, and asked the kids what a disaster would be, several
hands went up, he called on a young boy. "I think a disaster would be if
my mommy and daddy were killed in a train wreck." the little boy said.
"No, that would be an accident." President Clinton told him. he called on
another boy to answer, and the boy said "I know what a disaster would be,
if our school bus tipped over, and we all died, that would be a disaster."
"No" Mr. Clinton said, "That would be a great tragedy."
No one's hand went up for a while, then a very small girl slowly raised
her hand, "I think it would be a disaster if you and Mrs. Clinton were in
a plane crash, and were killed." "That's right, how did you know?" Clinton
asked. "Well," she said, "I knew it wouldn't be an accident, and it
wouldn't be a great tragedy."
262
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:44:38 AM »
An important politician was seen moving around with a film actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony.
But being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of looking into her antecedents and finding out if she had any previous affairs with men.
After a few days, the politician at last received his detective`s report, which went like this:
"Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation. Her past is clear; her family and friends all come from a very respectable background. No one has anything against her character. But yes, according to the grapevine, for the last couple of months she`s been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious reputation."
263
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:42:34 AM »
Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because
It more clearly reflects their party`s political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation.
Halts production
Discourages cooperation
Protects a bunch of dicks.
Gives a sense of security while screwing others.
264
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:40:33 AM »
March 15, 2000 Web posted at: 7:15 AM EST (1215 GMT) NAIROBI, Kenya (Reuters) --A group of women stormed a Kenyan police station to demand officers either make love to them or close illegal drinking dens they said made their husbands impotent, a local newspaper reported on Wednesday. The People newspaper said the women, from Kandara, north of Nairobi, brought business in the town to a halt with their day-long protest against excessive drinking by their menfolk. "Our men have turned to vegetables. They leave home early and come back intoxicated. There is nobody to meet the sexual needs of wives," the newspaper quoted one woman as saying. The women, drawn from 24 Catholic church groups, demanded that the officer in charge of the police station either order his men to make love to them or find them new husbands because they were sexually frustrated. The paper did not say how police reacted to their demands. The women said the population of the district was falling as a result of the poor sexual performance of the men.
265
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:38:28 AM »
A Mute Norwegian woman has received over $1,700 in bills for calls to phone sex lines. Although she was rendered speechless since a stroke in December and her phone was disconnected, the phone company keeps billing her. It is plainly obvious she has no need for phone sex. The telephone company is screwing her.
266
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:36:12 AM »
A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn`t tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.
A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he`s only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off."
267
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:31:25 AM »
A teenage girl is very anxious to offer a small lovely "TRIANGULAR" plot of land for sale centrally situated on the slopes at the level area in " THIALAND" but unobserved by any one till this day.
For the last 19 years plot was tenderly cared and looked after. This plot is "VIRGIN" and extremely fertile and can bear fruits even on the first planting. For the last 4 years the plot is covered with very fine grass which is very better and tender. No chemical are yet used for removing the grass which has covered the whole area deticably.
There is also a small "BOREWELL" hidden in the shrubs and no test is so far carried, but to as certain to the portability of water.Offers are immediately invited from prospective buyers with full and energetic capital who can put immediately.
The buyers should be strong enough to labor hard on the plot and plough in very hard with his "OWN TOOL". Although initially, it will be very hard and difficulty, but once the capital is put in he will not repute and will be delighted to have ventures in into site. It is guaranteed that there will be fully full co-operation from the owner if the buyer is ready to put straight his capital immediately.
No partnership please. No subletting, neighbors are awaiting for the an opportunity to trespass the plot. So hurry up to be the first to enter into the site . AREA : 100 Sq.cm. DEPTH OF WELL : 300 m.m
268
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:28:53 AM »
The Russians are proposing to construct a tunnel under the 25 mile-wide Bering Strait that separates Russia from Alaska. This is of course insanity, as it will only benefit one country, Russia, in the following ways:
1/ U.S. & Western monetary aid will be trucked in semis directly into Moscow, instead of the more costly, indirect flights.
2/ It will only cost $100 billion to build the tunnel -$600 billion less than the west has already poured into corrupt Kremlin official`s bank accounts.
3/ The Russian Mafia will finally have a steady supply of cement with which to dispose of their victim`s bodies.
4/ Russian hookers will be able to hitch-hike to New York.
5/ Lada automobiles will be driven to the U.S.A., where their engines will be removed and sold as sewing machines.
The only benefit to the North American economy?
1/ Boris Yeltsin will finally be able to go drinking in U.S. bars.
269
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:22:41 AM »
Seattle : Puffing on a cigarette is a bit like inhaling from the back end of a cow, or being poisoned like a rat, according to a new ad campaign sponsored by Washington state health removed.
Douglas aknowledged being a member of the players that had used the caddy, but denied being the person who struck the ball. He allegedly hit the golf ball before Parker had reached a safe distance on the green, and did not yell "Fore" when he hit the ball.
270
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:20:44 AM »
The first ever Internet broadcast of a penile-pump-implant surgery failed miserably when very few people showed up to watch. Is anyone surprised?
Healthology.com thought they had a really good idea when they decided to broadcast the procedure on the web. Healthology.com then convinced American Medical Systems, Inc., makers of the hydraulic penis device, to kick in some big cash to finance the broadcast.
It was hoped that the spectacle of a 50-year-old man having his genitals operated on would draw hoards of curious onlookers. But it didn`t happen.
Reports are that the broadcast attracted only 70,000 viewers. That might sound like a big group, but it pales in comparison to other online surgeries, such as Healthology`s breast augmentation broadcast. That procedure drew over a million voyeurs. You can guess why?
271
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:18:41 AM »
A Texas-size legal battle gets under way this week when former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith goes to court seeking half of her late nonagenarian husband`s billion-dollar estate.
Smith insists she did not marry the 90 year old oil tycoon for his money. But instead, he married her for her big, ripe melons.
The buxom blonde bombshell says she is entitled to his money over his children because QUOTE: "They didn?t have to orally accept an ancient crusty piece of dead wood and pretend to be satisfied for 14 months!"
When confronted with this fact, the adult children responded, QUOTE: "True. True."
272
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:14:19 AM »
Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party`s political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a sense of security while screwing others.
273
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:12:14 AM »
Singapore :
A national University of Singapore student who hid in women?s toilet and used a digital video camera to film a female in the next cubicle was jailed for 3 weeks, it was reported. Koh Chit Joo, 24, pleaded guilty to trespassing and insulting the modesty of the 21 year old woman by intruding on her privacy, The straits Times said.
Kho hid in the cubicle at the university?s engineering department on Nov 5, 1999, put the camera under a partition and filmed the student relieving herself.
On spotting the camera, the woman hurriedly left the toilet and waited outside, when Koh was caught with the help of passers-by. Lawyers of Koh said that the stress due to exams has affected his ?good sense and self-control?.
274
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:06:46 AM »
According to Salt Lake City police, a 27 year old woman called 911 because her husband refused to have sex with her.
By the time the police arrived, the nearly nude woman had begun beating her husband, who offered as his reason for lack of desire an exciting Utah Jazz basketball game on TV.
275
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:04:27 AM »
Ms. Cathomas Starbird, a member of the Sausalito, Calif., school board, was sentenced to 15 days in jail for assaulting a female friend who had joined Ms. Starbird and her husband to celebrate his birthday. At the couple`s houseboat after dinner, Ms. Starbird became furious at her friend, jumped on her, and bit her on the face for refusing to perform oral sex on the husband.
276
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:02:05 AM »
MADRID - At Vistahermosa which means "beautiful view," visitors weren`t looking out over the ocean. About 50 people were peering into a parked car to watch a naked couple in the back seat having sex.
Two officers waded through the crowd and asked the 42-year-old man and an 18-year-old woman to knock it off. The lovers covered themselves and got out of the car and allegedly hurled verbal abuse and fists at the officers.
Reinforcements showed up, and the lovers were taken away in handcuffs.
277
« on: November 01, 2007, 08:59:39 AM »
A camera shop owner in Royal Oak, Mich. called police after a roll of film, containing what he believed to be child pornography, was developed. The 45 or so photos pictured what appeared to be a child posing with several naked women.
The investigation ended when a 23-year-old dwarf walked into police headquarters and proved he was no child. The photos were to be used in promotions for a record company.
278
« on: November 01, 2007, 08:57:12 AM »
President Clinton went to a school to talk about disasters, he went into a
third grade class, and asked the kids what a disaster would be, several
hands went up, he called on a young boy. "I think a disaster would be if
my mommy and daddy were killed in a train wreck." the little boy said.
"No, that would be an accident." President Clinton told him. he called on
another boy to answer, and the boy said "I know what a disaster would be,
if our school bus tipped over, and we all died, that would be a disaster."
"No" Mr. Clinton said, "That would be a great tragedy."
No one's hand went up for a while, then a very small girl slowly raised
her hand, "I think it would be a disaster if you and Mrs. Clinton were in
a plane crash, and were killed." "That's right, how did you know?" Clinton
asked. "Well," she said, "I knew it wouldn't be an accident, and it
wouldn't be a great tragedy."
279
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:11:49 AM »
Evolution of man :-
1. shade ke phle :- Hero no 1
2. shade ke baad :- Coolie no 1
3. shade ke phle :- ‘Maine pyar kiya’
4. shade ke baad :- Ye maine kya kiya
5. shade ke phle :- Jaaneman maat jao
6. shade ke baad :- Jaan mat khao
7. shade ke phle :- Tum bin raha na jae
8. shade ke baad :- Tum ko saha na jae
9. shade ke phle :- Kuch to bolo
10. shade ke baad :- Ab chup ho jao
11. shade ke phle :- I LOVE YOU
12. shade ke baad :- Aaj fir aalu ?
13. shade ke phle :- milne kab aaogi
14. shade ke baad :- mayke kab jaogi
280
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:12:44 AM »
Sitaron se agey jahan aur bhi hein,
Abhi mohabbat k imthan aur bhi hein,
Tum hi nehi jalatey mere dil ko,
College mein ladkiyan aur bhi hein.
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