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Topics - JATT KHADKU KHADA!
41
« on: May 19, 2011, 05:48:10 PM »
An old married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!" :D: :D: :D: :D:
42
« on: May 19, 2011, 05:43:14 PM »
Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the elderly lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping. The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort. When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. "The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?" :D:
43
« on: May 19, 2011, 05:39:40 PM »
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, Whatever you do, do not touch the garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the entire back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear Wife, Now is the best time to plant the lettuce." :D: :D:
44
« on: May 19, 2011, 05:34:54 PM »
A man, wanting to rob downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So, he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his pickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. :laugh:
45
« on: May 19, 2011, 05:31:43 PM »
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. "Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination." "Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried." "How's that?" the lawyer asked. "I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"
:D: :D:
46
« on: May 19, 2011, 04:58:43 PM »
A man walks into a bar and sees a good-looking woman sitting on a stool.
He walks up to her and says: "Hi there, how's it going?"
She turns to him, looks deep into his eyes and says: "I’ll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter." "No kidding!"
he says: "What law firm are you with?"
:hehe:
47
« on: May 19, 2011, 04:53:17 PM »
A Captain asked a sailor, "Where did your father die?" "He drowned at sea." "And your grandfather?" "At sea too."
"Aren’t you afraid of the sea?" The sailor retorted, "Sir, where did your father die?" "In bed." "And your grandfather?" "In bed too."
"Sir, aren’t you afraid to go to bed every night where your father and grandfather died?"
:D: :D: :D: :D:
48
« on: May 16, 2011, 01:25:44 PM »
Today I met a strange European bloke. This is what he writes on all his belongings.
When I asked him why do you write that? He goes, that makes me feel good :hehe:
49
« on: April 27, 2011, 01:45:49 AM »
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up!
50
« on: April 22, 2011, 02:02:38 AM »
Sukh kunda kolan toh pela watch down.. asi aa shoes pake hi awange :excited:
"BEWARE" KUNDA NA KOLI :blink: HAHAHHAHAHAH :D:
51
« on: March 04, 2011, 05:11:31 PM »
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Noor is the tiddler wearing orange T-shirt(Ten Ten)
Noxi is the one having chocolate, chori chori lol hahaha
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