This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Messages - SonnenKinder
Pages: 1 ... 462 463 464 465 466 [467]
9321
« on: November 05, 2009, 06:04:30 PM »
Three women meet at a Women liberation Seminar, One Australian, One American, One English. Two weeks after the Seminar they met and had coffee, the American woman say's " when I got home I told my husband that I was no longer doing the washing all the time. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything but on the third day I noticed my husband starting to help out with the washing.
The English woman said " Wow I did the same thing, I said to my husband that I was no longer going to do the ironing all by myself, on the fist day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he got the ironing board out and started ironing"
The Australian woman said " Well when I got home I said to my husband that I was not going to do the cooking all the time and on the first day I didn't see anything and on the second day I didn't see anything but on the third day I could just start to see out of my left eye. !!!!
9322
« on: November 05, 2009, 05:55:46 PM »
This is an actual ad from the New York Times.
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. 1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
9323
« on: November 05, 2009, 02:47:43 AM »
Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said,"you think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Later, my father married my step daughter. That made my step daughter my step mother and my father become my stepson. Also my wife became monther-in-law of her father-in-law. Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother had a son. This boy was my halfbrother because he was my fathers son, but he was also son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. This made me grandfather of my half brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the sister of my son, my mother-in-law, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brther-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife. I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my own grandfather and you think you have family problems!"
9324
« on: November 05, 2009, 01:40:33 AM »
OFFENSIVE JOKE
- Edited
9325
« on: November 05, 2009, 12:50:33 AM »
What does your nick mean?
its a deutsch word. Sonnen means Sun and Kinder means Child. So it is Child of Sun or Son of Sun
9326
« on: November 04, 2009, 10:53:30 PM »
I like funny applications.
I like your nick :happy:
9327
« on: November 04, 2009, 10:22:57 PM »
An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in Long Kesh Prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.
Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"
At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad; It's the best I
could do from here."
9328
« on: November 04, 2009, 10:08:29 PM »
Dormitory >>>>>>> Dirty Room
Evangelist>>>>>>> Evils Agent
Desperation >>>>> A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code >> Here Come Dots
Slot Machines>>> Cash Lost in em
Animosity >>>>>> Is No Amity
Mother-in-law>>> Woman Hitler :hehe:
A Decimal Point> I'm a Dot in Place
Eleven plus two>>Twelve plus one
9329
« on: November 04, 2009, 09:57:30 PM »
These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
What'd You Think?
9330
« on: November 04, 2009, 07:04:40 PM »
S. Khushwant Singh is most humourus Punjabi. He has written many joke books (actually a compilation of jokes sent to him from various parts of world) I found this compilatio funny and worth sharing with PJ. In non english speaking countries, some hoardings or signboards make gud readings. Please enjoy
1. In a Bucharest hotel lobby : The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
2. In a Belgrade hotel elevator : To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then alphabetically by national order.
3. In a hotel in Athens : Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.
4. In a Japanese hotel : You are invited to take advantage of the chamber-maid.
5.In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox monastery : You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are burried daily except Thursday.
6. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers : Not to perumbulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension
7. On the menu of a Polish hotel : Salad a firm's own make, limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger, roasted duck let loose, beef rashers beaten up in the countrypeople's fashion.
8.In a Bangkok dry cleaners shop : Drop your trousers here for best results.
9. Outside a Paris dress shop : Dresses for street walking.
10. Outside a Hong Kong dress shop : Ladies have fits upstairs.
11. In an advertisement by a Hongkong dentist : Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
12. In a Sweden tourist agency : Take one of our horse-driven city tours. we guarantee no miscarriages
13. In a Swiss mountain Inn : Special Today - no ice cream
14.In a Bangkok temple : Its forbidden to ent3r a woman even a foreigner, if dressed as a man.
15. In a Tokyo bar : Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.
16. In a Rome Laundry : Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend teh afternoon hving a good time
17. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation
18.In an East African Newspaper : A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contracors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
19. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand : Would you like to ride on your own ass?
20. In the window of a Swedish furrier : Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin
21. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Toky : When passenger of foot heave in sight tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.
9331
« on: November 04, 2009, 06:33:16 PM »
INGREDIANTS
4 cups love, 2 cups loyalty, 5 quarts faith, 2 tablespoon tenderness, 1 cup kindness, 5 cups understanding, 3 cups forgiveness, 1 cup friendship, 5 teaspoons Hope and 1 Barrel Laughter.
METHOD:
Take Love and Loyalty, mix throughly with Faith. Blend with Tenderness, Kindness, understanding and forgiveness. Add friendship and hope, sprinkle abundantly with laughter. Bake with sunshine. Serve with generous helpings.
CENTURIES OLD AND TESTED RECIPE :happy: TRY IT
9332
« on: November 03, 2009, 08:07:18 PM »
besharam..... kaun :wait:
Kiss is sweetest way of taking revenge. One Kiss can push millions/billions of bacteria and some viruses too
9333
« on: November 03, 2009, 07:58:59 PM »
vaak pura taan kar dena siga. akhir vich japp likhna bhul gaya. guru granth sahib ji da pehla vaak apne vich puran haiga. pehla akhar Ek Onkar te aakhir da word Japp. Ek Onkar Japp
Pages: 1 ... 462 463 464 465 466 [467]
|
Show Posts