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Messages - SonnenKinder
Pages: 1 ... 461 462 463 464 465 [466] 467
9301
« on: November 07, 2009, 06:59:40 PM »
It does not apply to every married couple :happy:
Before - You take my breath away
After - I feel like I'm suffocating
Before - Twice a night
After - Twice a month
Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac
Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football
Before - Don't stop
After - Don't start
Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey
Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
After - It's like he lives in a dorm
Before - $60/dozen
After - $1.50/stem
Before - Turbocharged
After - Jump-start
Before - We agree on everything
After - We can't agree on anything
Before - Victoria's Secret
After - Fruit-of-the-Loom
Before - Idol
After - Idle
Before - He's completely lost without me
After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?
Before - Time stood still
After - Where did the time go?
Before - I can hardly believe we found each other
After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you
Before - Passion
After - Ration
Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagel and instant
9302
« on: November 07, 2009, 04:47:41 AM »
VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:happy:
9303
« on: November 07, 2009, 02:57:18 AM »
:hehe: :hehe: :hehe:
juss a joke nothing offensive against women  :
9304
« on: November 07, 2009, 02:55:14 AM »
hahaha jeez thats true its so hard for me to understand english from chinese
they Fink not think
they count Free not three
:hehe: Like That is not right = Sum Ting Wong Are you harbouring a fugitive = Hu Yu Hi Ding See me ASAp = Kum Hia Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni Great = Su Pah
9305
« on: November 07, 2009, 02:47:16 AM »
hahhaa people are just so stupid!
We all are people :happy:
9306
« on: November 07, 2009, 02:17:02 AM »
Here's some REAL COMPUTER PROBLEMS COMPLAINTS HEARD BY VARIOUS COMPUTER TECHNICIANS. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2 meant to remove Disk 1 first.
10. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded, No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine.
9307
« on: November 07, 2009, 02:08:05 AM »
HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............
9308
« on: November 07, 2009, 02:05:10 AM »
Chinese ENGLISH
An Italian, French and Chinese went for a job interview in England.
Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow.
The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day."
The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV.
Last was the Chinese: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green green", I "pink" up the phone and I say "Yellow. !!!!!!!!!!!!
9309
« on: November 07, 2009, 01:55:22 AM »
Challo ok ji.. Jenne mainu offensive labhde aa main delete kar denna.. Bakki tusse dus deyyo jehra thanu offensive laggo oh we kar davva ge :happy:
veer jee, mere mention of names Santa Singh and Banta Singh make a joke racist like my joke Identity-No problem has been classified as racist coz of some surnames. Well, I made my point now being moderator its upto you to be fair to everyone.
9310
« on: November 06, 2009, 10:40:13 PM »
Veerji we try to keep the forum clean, as much as we could.. If you find something offenseive you can always say ..
veerji that is what i exactly did :happy: spoke my heart out. please remove all Santa Banta Jokes coz those are aimed at my race so those are racists
9311
« on: November 06, 2009, 09:04:08 PM »
Thats racist not funny to me
What about Santa Banta Jokes? Those too are racists.
9312
« on: November 06, 2009, 05:52:13 PM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
yaar tu hassda bara changa lagda
9313
« on: November 06, 2009, 05:50:54 PM »
haha when u get married this is what happens
you gota belive she says otherwise Fight!
u knw wot man, you just found secret of happy married life :
9314
« on: November 06, 2009, 05:48:32 PM »
must be one smart wife :blink: :blink: :blink: :happy:
it sounds like hubby ws smarter who made his wife luk smarter
9315
« on: November 06, 2009, 05:46:53 PM »
:hehe: :hehe: :hehe: :hehe: X_X X_X X_X :lost: :lost: :lost:
: it would make one thinks twice before raising a family
9316
« on: November 06, 2009, 05:45:27 PM »
:hehe: :hehe: :hehe: :hehe: :hehe: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :marro: :marro: :marro:
well i made u laff, u made ma day :lol:
9317
« on: November 06, 2009, 05:43:36 PM »
Eleven plus two>>Twelve plus one
Desperation >>>>> A Rope Ends It :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:
actually Mother-in-law>>>>Woman Hitler motivated me to write these rearranged words :
9318
« on: November 06, 2009, 04:56:37 PM »
hmmmmmmm
menu es sare thread da matalb v samjh deo :dnk: es vich samjh ki ni aaya, pehle menu eh samjhao
9319
« on: November 06, 2009, 04:44:19 PM »
In Everyone's life somthing happens, somthing is said or somthing is advised that makes one think. And those thoughts are inspirationals which can bring major changes in one's life. For Example: Oneday my friends father advised him, who wanted to start a new venture but was hesitent due to lack of professional skill, "JUST GO FOR IT AND GIVE IT A TRY ! YOU DONT HV TO BE A PROFESSIONAL TO BUILD A SUCCESSFUL PRODUCT. AMATEURS STARTED GOOGLE AND APPLE. PROFESSIONAL BUILT TITANIC. Now that made my friend's mind to think and today he is a successfull businessman.
I INVITE ALL PJ MEMBERS TO SHARE THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH OTHERS SO THAT THEY MAY GET INSPIRED AND SUCCEED IN LIFE.
9320
« on: November 05, 2009, 06:22:40 PM »
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Am I fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything =Nothing
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a bore
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