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Messages - SonnenKinder
9221
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:18:25 PM »
14."Do you have big plastic bins?"-->"Yes, how many bodies do you want to dispose of"
:pagel: :pagel: :pagel: :pagel:
15."Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"-->"No, you'll have to walk"
- you mean i actually gotta put work into it
18.Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?-->Customer: What other colors do you have?
- purple plz :happy:
well put some KMNO4 (pottasium permegnate), it wud make your coffee both purple and hygenic. das a trade secret :blink:
9222
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:15:55 PM »
ahhahahhahahahhahahahha
hillarious
how funny haha
try to do it when the engine is running same as heart  hehe
:happy: repairing heart needs more skill den repairing an engine. so mechanic need not to feel jealous
9223
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:12:44 PM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: =D> =D> =D>
well if i were dem, i wud hv neva tried to befool my Dean.
9224
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:10:07 PM »
repeat joke :pagel:
dunno whether its a repeat or not. m a noob in PJ.
9225
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:08:11 PM »
true stories :lol:
not stories but facts. i hv experienced some of 'em
9226
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:06:45 PM »
blondies :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
hope u aint one. yaar ik thankyou te v click kar deo.
9227
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:05:29 PM »
'you know' :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: i love this parrot :pagel:
click on thankyou and i will fedex u one  :
9228
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:03:32 PM »
hahah i ve read it before
this is the thing she was after aye
:happy: right, i shud hv posted that pic
9229
« on: November 09, 2009, 08:01:01 PM »
sahi keha, i bet the mechanic felt like a retard :happy:
i do agree coz m soon gonna be a doc. so cant comment on docs :hehe:
9230
« on: November 09, 2009, 07:58:38 PM »
:lol: battle of the sexes, eh :lol:
u can say that but its more like battle of egos
9231
« on: November 09, 2009, 05:28:03 PM »
An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the MALES in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
While All the FEMALES in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."
9232
« on: November 09, 2009, 05:22:13 PM »
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage," Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind them, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".
9233
« on: November 09, 2009, 05:18:16 PM »
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, You are really ugly,"
The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly," She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly,"
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and to get rid of the bird if they didn t do something about it. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn t say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes ?"
And the bird replied, "You know."
9234
« on: November 09, 2009, 05:11:04 PM »
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$ t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $ oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the media is reporting that the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
General Manager
9235
« on: November 09, 2009, 04:59:26 PM »
A man and his wife in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child.
The wife jumped up and said: 'Your Honor. I brought the child into the world with pain an labor. She should be in my custody.
The judge turns to the husband and says ' What do you have to say in your defense?
The man sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose. 'Your Honor. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out.. whose Pepsi is it .. the machine's or mine?
HOPE MODERATER DOES NOT REMOVE IT :plz:
9236
« on: November 09, 2009, 04:53:15 PM »
A mechanic was having some work done when a blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
The mechanic looked at the other workers and and wondered and asked 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?'
She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She went on to say that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'Is there a 710 on this car?'
She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'
ANY GUEST WHAT IT WAS? SCROLL DOWN :happy:
AN OIL TANK LID PAINTED OIL ON IT (710)
9237
« on: November 09, 2009, 04:41:34 PM »
Tony was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Tony's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper and Tony used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Tony died. He said, "You know, Tony handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Tony, I'm sure it's a wonderful message."
He opened the note, and read, "Get off my oxygen tube!"
9238
« on: November 09, 2009, 04:30:58 PM »
One night four MBA students were boozing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. Then they went up to the Dean and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The Dean was a Just person so he said that you can have a retest after three days. After 3 days they said they were ready. On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a special condition all four were required to be in separate rooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in last three days.
The test consisted of two question with a total marks of 100.
Q1. Write down your Names. (2 marks)
Q2. Which tire burst ? (98 marks)
9239
« on: November 09, 2009, 04:23:12 PM »
1.Did you take a bath?" --> "Why, Is there one missing?"
2."Are you chewing gum?" -->"No, I'm John Smith."
3."I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."-->"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"
4."What are you going to be when you graduate?"-->"An old man"
5."I spent three years in college taking medicine."-->"Are you well now?"
6.Do you say a prayer before you eat?"-->"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."
7."I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for Dinner."-->"Who wants to eat friends?"
8."We are having mother for dinner, darling."-->"Make sure she's well done."
9."I want some rat poison."-->"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"
10."It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the Other."-->"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."
11."May I hold your hand?"-->"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."
12."Does water always come through the roof in this place?"-->"No, sir, only when it rains."
13."When will you straighten out the house, dear?"-->"Why? Is it tilted?"
14."Do you have big plastic bins?"-->"Yes, how many bodies do you want to dispose of"
15."Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"-->"No, you'll have to walk"
16."Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"-->But why? My wife isn't dangerous."
17."I have changed! My mind."-->Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"
18.Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?-->Customer: What other colors do you have?
9240
« on: November 09, 2009, 04:04:12 PM »
*Monday:*
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.
*Tuesday:*
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.
*Wednesday:*
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.
*Thursday:*
Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.
*Friday:*
Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did,to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.
*Saturday:*
Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work,or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "why me? why me ?" Hmmm....It must be his job.
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