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Messages - SonnenKinder
9141
« on: November 11, 2009, 09:47:10 PM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
TRUEEEEEEEEEEE  : :
SonnenKinder U R AWSOME .. So many jokes It hard for me too keep up :happy:.. THANK YOU.. N +1 :happy:
awwwww so nice of yu bro
9142
« on: November 11, 2009, 06:30:58 PM »
first time i ever saw u using a smiley face :happy:
history has been made
:
9143
« on: November 11, 2009, 06:29:42 PM »
they dont think is it  :hehe:
ye right :happy:
9144
« on: November 11, 2009, 04:26:58 PM »
A blonde walks into a doctor's office. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over." The doctor is really confused. He says, "What do you mean, you hurt all over?" The blonde says, "I'll show you."
She then touches herself on her leg. "OW!!! I hurt there." Then she touches her earlobe. "OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!" Then she touches her hair. "OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!" So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min. Then he says, "Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?" The blonde says "Yes, why?"
The doctor says, "Well, you got a broken finger..."
9145
« on: November 11, 2009, 04:21:13 PM »
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie - - poof - - you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." - - - poof - - -. The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive." - - - poof - - -. The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." - - - poof - - -
9146
« on: November 11, 2009, 04:18:43 PM »
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly--from the sky--a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole.
Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The Blond, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more. "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "No, this is the Manager of the Ice Rink!"
9147
« on: November 11, 2009, 04:14:37 PM »
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my friends are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
B: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
P: "Uh ... How's that working?"
B. "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
P. "And why do you think that is?"
B. "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
9148
« on: November 11, 2009, 04:07:59 PM »
There is a blond driving through the country. She has just died her hair brown because she is sick of being made fun of. She is really hungry. She stops at a farmers house and says "Hi! If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?" Farmer says ok. She quickly counts them and says "91!" The farmer looks around puzzeledly and says "Ok. Take one." When the Blond is walking back to her car the farmer asks "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"
9149
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:58:37 PM »
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
Social Engagements:
Party:
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with college
drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)
Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)
A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Sports car (-10)
A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it
(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)
The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
** Here there is no correct answers
Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)
9150
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:44:28 PM »
The mother, to stop her kindergarten child from biting her nails threatened that if she habitually continued to bite her nails she would grow like a balloon. One day her pregnant aunt came to visit and the small girl said to her, "I know what you have habitually been doing!"
9151
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:41:58 PM »
A moman on a luxury cruise attracted much attention with an enormous diamond ring she wore. "It's the Beaumont diamond," she told her curious table companions, "and, like the notorious Hope diamond, it carried a terrible curse."
"What is the curse?" the gaping fellow passengers asked.
"Mr Beaumont," replied the woman.
9152
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:19:42 PM »
you should have, lawyers are sexy ... :love:
and they make gr8 politicians too
9153
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:17:54 PM »
neighbors - are you bashing on americans by that... :pagel:
i hate doing wot whole world is doing :hehe:
9154
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:16:04 PM »
good thinking...does that mean no bacterial or viral infxns either... :happy:
yea u reached at right conclusion :happy:
9155
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:14:10 PM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
marr gayi hass hass ke, i have a similar story about this patient i saw...i can;t say here ... :happy:
i bet most of PJ didnt understand it :hehe: wud be too gr8ful if u pvt message me that story
9156
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:11:39 PM »
9157
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:10:00 PM »
those bastards :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
yea thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooose bastards but who?
9158
« on: November 11, 2009, 07:35:53 AM »
gurl power :pagel: :pagel:
its called favouritism
9159
« on: November 11, 2009, 06:47:42 AM »
Teacher 2 student : What's Your Cast ?
Student : Pehle to hum Pandit The,
Fir Rajput Hue,
Fir Baniya ho Gaye,
Abhi Hai Darji,
Or
Aage AMMI ki Marzi.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
a simillar joke by me was removed by Moderator telling me it was offensive. why gals are treated differently? :angr:
9160
« on: November 11, 2009, 06:42:44 AM »
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share !
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!
HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck !
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
OMG, i once went through same convo but with a minor change. replace he with she and she with he :happy:
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