uaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
menu ulti aundi pai aa          X_X X_X X_X

r u hallucinating? i mean visualising dt scene?

thats bit nasty innit!

but it got a hygenic side too  :happy: u from UK? coz only british use dt slang "innit"

haahha i got 2 cup holders than in my pc

oh mate, u sure u got ur cup holders on ur pc? :hehe:

ahhahahha

women, women and women :happy: nobody can outdo them, when it comes to manage household activities

I jus had some  8->

u hv some guest in mind to offer those

Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering.

One day his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry.

After waiting a few minutes she asked, "Did you notice, sir, that I scratched something that you like?"

Without looking up from the menu, he replied, "So go wash your hands and bring me some ham and eggs."

BEFORE TAKE OFF:

"To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. Actually, it works just like every other seat belt on the planet. If you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
and:
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, or someone who is acting like a small child, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two such persons, decide now which one you love more."

SHORTLY BEFORE ARRIVAL:

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees, with some broken clouds; but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your travel money, more than this airline."

ON THE GROUND, AFTER AN EXCEEDINGLY BUMPY LANDING:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash' and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

ON ARRIVAL:

"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at this airline."

A rich girl and a poor boy fall in love and decide to marry.
The girl's father is strongly against such a decision, but
after a long argument, the daughter finally gets her way.
The father agrees that the two can marry, but he insists
on meeting the man before the date is set. His daughter
agrees and invites her fiance over for dinner.
_____________________________________________
Dinner goes well. Then, afterwards, the father invites
his future son-in-law into the study. The father asks him
what he does for a living, to which the boy replies, "I am
a religious man; I study the Testaments."
_____________________________________________
The father then asks, "How are you going to support my
daughter's high living standard."

The boy replies, "I will study, and God will provide."

The father, now losing his patience asks, "How will you
afford a nice place to live?"

The boy again replies, "I will study, and God will provide."

For over an hour, the questioning continued and the same answers were
heard, "I will study, and God will provide."
The interrogation finally ends. The happy couple express
their thanks for the lovely meal, and then leave.
Later in the evening, the wife asks her husband how his
discussion with their daughter's boyfriend went.
The father replies, "Well, there's good news and bad
news. The bad news is that the boy has no job, no
money, and no chance of ever providing for our daughter."
The mother then says, "Certainly there must be some good news!"
The father replies, "The boy thinks I'm God."

One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him."
So, he goes over to the man and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir," he starts, "but I noticed you look just like me!" The second man turns around and says "Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?",
"I'm from Dublin", second man stunned says, "Me too! What street do you live on?", "McCarthy street", second man replies, "Me too! What number is it?", the first man announces, "162", second man shocked says, "Me too! What are your parents names?", first man replies, "Connor and Shannon", second man awestruck says, "Mine too! This is unbelievable!"

So, they buy some more Guinness and they're talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks "What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again."

An old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most
favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay
there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell
freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and
slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen,
there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table.
He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking
hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand
sharply and yelled, "DON'T TOUCH THOSE-they're for the funeral!"