ahhha

wot if wud be wives read this joke?

itz not only in washington dc.. itz everywhere.. pata nahe eh war ne hor kinne ku ghar ujarne ne :sad: :sad:

jado tak loga di soch ni badaldi, kuch ni badalan wala

If Indian Movies Were Released by Microsoft..


the names of movies shall be as follows:-


    *       Munna Bhai MCSE
       
    *       Kal MSN Ho Na Ho
       
    *       Love in IRC
       
    *      Tere Nick
       
    *       ID Mil Gaya
       
    *       Chat To Kero
       
    *       Ek Programmer Thi
       
    *       Yeh Hack Horaha Hai
       
    *       Hum Pyar PC Se Kar Baithe
       
    *       Network Ke Us Paar
       
    *       Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
       
    *       Aao Chat Kare
       
    *       C++ Wale Job Le Jayenge
       
    *       Programmer No.1
       
    *       Mera Naam Developer
       
    *       Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein
       
    *       Do Processor, Baarah Terminal
       
    *       Tera Code Chal Gaya
       
    *       Har Din Jo Mail Karega
       
    *       Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
       
    *       Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehtha Hai
       
    *       Raju Ban Gaya MCSD
       
    *       Client Ek Numbari
       
    *       C ++Programmer Dus Numbari
       
    *       Login Karo Sajana
       
    *       Naukar PC Ka
       
    *       1942 -- A Bug Story
       
    *       Kaho Na Virus Hai
       
    *       Crash Se Crash Tak
       
    *       Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai




 
 

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug."

Do you want a room with or without a view?



 

Some Very Clever Business Signs
   
1) At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

2) In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

3) In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

4) On a Plumber's Shop: "We repair what your husband fixed."

5) On the trucks of a Plumbing Company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call us."

6) Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

7) At a Tire Shop: "Invite us to your next blowout."

8) On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

9) At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

10) On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

11) In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and put you out."

12) On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."

13) On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

14) At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

15) Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

16) At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be de-Lighted."

17) In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Please drive carefully. We'll wait."


 

 * There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.

 * Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.

 * Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.

 * When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. (God help me.. i cant take this anymore)

 * Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

 * Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. (LOL)

 * Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.

 * Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.

 * There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

 * Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

 * Rajnikant can divide by zero.

 * Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.

 * Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

 * Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajnikant"

 * If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

 * Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

 * Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

 * The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

 * There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.

 * Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

 * James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

 * Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.


 

1. President Sonia Gandhi and prime minister Priyanka Gandhi receive Italy prime minister Rahul Gandhi.

2. Dhoom 17 ready for release.

3. I will play next world cup - Sachin Tendulkar

4. Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya's 3rd marriage .

5. Abhi toh Mein jawan hoon - Dev Anand.

6. Petrol Rs.999

7. Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi completed 2,50,000 episodes.

8. Coach Ganguly resigns, as India is knocked out of World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea

9. Siddhu launches his own TV channal where he can speak and laugh for the whole day.

10. After giving 49 flop movie in a row himesh reshamiya is coming in hollywood romantic movie sequel titanic 3.



 

Reporter ne ek zakhmi nu pucheya

Reporter - "jadho bomb giriya ta oho phat geya?"

Zakhmi gusse naal kehnda
"Nahi bhraava...bomb chal ke mere kol aya naale pyar naal kehnda -------   "THAA" "

Reporters are strange ppz....they wud ask weird questions....like somone was shot and killed...Reporter asked his daughter so miss...... now as ur father hs been killed, how u feel?

Yaar apni ta greeji bohat jeyada hi high aa is layi gal palle hi nahi payi  :dnk: :dnk: :dnk: :dnk: :waitin: :waitin: :wait: :wait: :wait: : : : : :

veer punjabi aandi ta hai menu par hath jara tang hi hai

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

ju idiot
shukar
oh indian nahi c...nahi tan tera ser ganja karke bhej da  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

damn u boy..ghaint aa tu  :pagel: :pagel: :pagel:

: u were not supposd to read that :hehe: