Ik var ik amli radio theek karvan gaya.

Mechanic: Radio te theek hai bhai tera. Bas jara mausam kharab hon karke nahi chalda pya.

Amli: Aa farr
 100 rupaiye, mausam nava pa de.......

amli ni kharhda paisa v....enne vich taan us nu ik nawi doze mil jani

ha! freeway? i always say highway, never heard anyone say freeway here... :happy:

  :hehe: actually we finns use that word coz i hate this word i brought out all my hate on americans :hehe:

How the company views its employees. (HE vs SHE)

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1. The family picture is on HIS desk.                                                       
   Ah, a solid, responsible family man.


   The family picture is on HER desk.
   Umm, her family will come before her career.


*********


2. HIS desk is cluttered.
   He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.


   HER desk is cluttered.
   She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain


*********


3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
   He must be discussing the latest deal


   SHE is talking with her co-workers.
   She must be gossiping.


*********


4. HE's not at his desk. He must be at a meeting.


   SHE's not at her desk. She must be in the ladies' room.


*********


5. HE's not in the office. He's meeting with customers.


   SHE's not in the office. She must be out shopping.


*********


6. HE's having lunch with the boss. He's on his way up.


   SHE's having lunch with the boss. They must be having an affair.


*********


7. The boss criticised HIM. He'll improve his performance.


   The boss criticized HER. She'll be very upset.


*********


8. HE got an unfair deal. Did he get angry?


   SHE got an unfair deal. Did she cry?


*********


9. HE's going on a business trip. It's good for his career.


   SHE's going on a business trip. What does her husband say?


*********


10 . HE's leaving for a better job.
     He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.


     SHE's leaving for a better job.
     Women are not dependable
 

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A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.


The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.


Well he thinks for a while and says:


Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".


The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"


The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "! You are getting better" at the bottom.


The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:


"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom".





 
 

Have you heard of Mr. Beans applying to a medical school to become a doctor?


Needless to say he never made it. You know why?


These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.


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Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome.

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labour - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe.

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favour of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

Urine - opposite of you're out.

Varicose - very close.

21. Tries to use Credit Card in road side Hotel.


20. Drinks and carries Mineral Water and always speaks of Health. (proving to be very health conscious).


19. Sprays DEO such so that he doesn't need to take bath.


18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.


17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".


Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".


Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".


Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".


Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".


Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".


Says "Got To Go" instead of "Have To Go".


Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)


16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.


15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in KiloMeters), and counts in Millions.(Not in Lakhs)


14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).


13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.


12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee (but never says Zed).


11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY & on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"


10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.


9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".


8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.


7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.


6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.


5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "Mojule".


4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.


Few more important stuffs:-


3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.


2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.


And The Ultimate One:-


1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

 

Reaction from different countries:

**************


U.S.A:

"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists.

We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson.

Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network."

(President Bush (Ex)whoelse?)




**************


U.K:

"I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the world and this has to be dealt with."(Ex.Prime Minister Blair)


**************


Iraq:

"LOL!!!" (President Saddam Hussain, if he were alive today)


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Israel:

"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide bombers who have commited such a crime.

We will now impose curfew on the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps."

(Ariel Sharon....)

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Canada:

"Titanic who?" (Canadian Prime Minister)


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India:

"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. We have received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris.

Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We are now deploying more soldiers to the border."

(Prime Minister)


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Pakistan:

"Sind may Double Sawari per ghair muayyana muddat ke liye pabandi"

(Ex.President Musharraf)

**************


UN:

"Shit happens right??"

(Ex.Sec.Gen. Kofi Annan)


**************


Survivors:

"Uhh. Helllooo. Is anyone listening...it was an iceberg..hellloooooo."

**************

 

I think its already posted.. But still good  :pagel:

sorry wid so many posts i cn miss

:laugh: :laugh: =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

best humour yet to come  :happy: admin  :sad:is too harsh

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

  :happy: for liking this joke