oh hell, i thought priests were suppose to be celibant  :lol: :pagel:

i don think a priest or nun practice celibacy. punjabi vich ehna nu chhupa rustom kehnde :happy:

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.



 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :happy:


she was just after some money, I call these people leeches  :pagel:

mebbe she really felt humiliated

Poor guy

I pray for all PJ members neva to reach that stage

I hope he wears a diaper to bed  : : : : :happy:

depends on availability of his size :

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."



The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"


The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."



The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!


They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."



 

Jack  decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded  up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.  So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes  to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had  met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north ab out 9 months ago ?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes!," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."

"And  did you happen to give her my name instead  of telling her your name?"

Bob's  face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

 

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her  husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees  them and hides in the  bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the  boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy  , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"

The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that shit again , you're in my closet now.

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends sent him flowers for the occasion.


They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."


The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.


After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,



"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,... 'Congratulations for your new location!'"




 

Officers at a military  installation in U.S. were being lectured about a new computer. The training  officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks.



Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee."



The officer said meekly, "Sure, but  why?"


"Because a coffee spill could ruin the  keyboard."

John was invited for dinner by a friend.


Every time he needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "Darling", "Sweet-heart", etc. etc.


His friend looked at him and said,
"That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." John replied, "Well, honestly speaking, I've just forgotten her name."