:hehe: :hehe: :hehe: bilkul sai..fer tan v keh davan..ma jhansi di rani aa  :lol: :lol:

hehehe kha li punjab police di mar tusi v :happy:

punjab police ala hesaab ho gea eh tan  :hehe:

lagda punjab police ne v cali vich training li

i like the last one
rocket powered bird   :hehe:

whoeva shot that pic muss be helluva photographer

:marro: :marro: :marro: :marro: :marro: :marro: :marro: :marro:

tu v le  :marro: :marro: :marro: :marro:

bas khoon karaba hor v kuch aanda

jes  : :
ma tan bhaiyea de chitar launi aa je mere mure aun  :angr:

apne bhaiyea bare edda de kayal  :angr: chhi chhi chhii

Ik amli talli ho ke ghar pauncheya...

Taala kholan laggeya ta hathh kamb rahe c...

Eh dekh ke ohda gwandi kol aya...

Gwandi : Main taala khol deyan..????? :dnk:

Amli : Lai edi ki gall aa. :wait:....taala ta main aape khol lu..

                            tu bas makaan fad ke rakh... :mean:

talli means clap - right?

lier customers hahah

yea and they gonna lose nothing by tellin lies

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided you share of the work is done enough to keep the job going in your absence.

YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your replacement.

REST ROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ‘B’ will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you’re unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. In writing, both employees’ supervisors must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm bell will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

PAYCHECK GUIDE:
The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:

* Gross pay $1,212.02
* Income tax $244.40
* Outgo tax $45.21
* State tax $11.61
* Interstate tax $61.10
* County tax $6.11
* City tax $12.22
* Rural tax $4.44
* Back tax $1.91
* Front tax $1.16
* Side tax $1.61
* Up tax $2.24
* Tic-Tacs $2.98
* Thumbtacks $3.93
* Carpet tacks $1.98
* Stadium tax $2.69
* Flat tax $8.32
* Surtax $3.46
* Corporate tax $2.60
* Parking fee $7.00
* FICA $81.88
* TGIF Fund $9.95
* Life insurance $7.85
* Health insurance $17.23
* Dental insurance $5.50
* Mental insurance $5.33
* Disability $3.50
* Ability $1.25
* Liability $3.41
* Unreliability $10.99
* Coffee $16.85
* Coffee Cups $66.51
* Floor rental $16.85
* Chair rental $1.32
* Desk rental $14.32
* Union dues $25.85
* Union don’ts $3.77
* Cash advance $0.69
* Cash retreats $121.35
* Overtime $1.26
* Undertime $54.83
* Eastern time $9.00
* Central time $8.00
* Mountain time $7.00
* Pacific time $6.00
* Time Out $12.21
* Oxygen $10.02
* Water $16.54
* Heat $51.42
* Cool air $26.83
* Hot air $28.13
* Miscellaneous $113.29
* Sundry $14.09
* Various $8.01
* ========================
* Net Take Home Pay $6.02

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation’s, consternation’s, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week,

Your Boss

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to Consulting.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them. If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer Information Systems is their niche.

If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they’re destined for the Help Desk.

If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into Purchasing.

If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests, Public Relations would suit them well.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical Documents team.

If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.