14.A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing

   - good old times  :pagel:

i m past ma teenage but still feel like one and certainly behave like one :laugh:

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: and hell awaits...

awww kise da ena bure din na hon

 : : : imagine a drunkard doing that  :

yea and even in yor imagination, make sure no one is around :hehe:

hahah i thinks it everywher not just in australia
jeez

  :happy: but i particulary mentioned australia to irritate u :hehe:

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”

“I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife with another man. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic. “This is a very special cheesecake,” she explained. “I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheesecakes, let me have a parking spot directly in front of the bakery’, and sure enough,” she continued, “the ninth time around the block, there it was!”

1. It is America’s coffee capital, with more coffee bean roasters per capita than any other state.
2. ‘The Wave’, a popular fan cheer for the past 25 years, was started by Husky fans at the University of Washington.
3. Adam Morrison, a Washington State native and Gonzaga University basketball star, leads the NCAA Division I in scoring this season.
4. The state is the nation’s largest exporter, representing $34 billion and 5 percent of all U.S. exports: 1½ forest products, aerospace products, apples, tulips, hops, mint, wheat and several other quality
food products.
5. Leading innovators — Microsoft’s Bill Gates and Paul Allen, Starbucks’ Howard Schultz, wireless pioneers the McCaw family, and the Boeing family — live in Washington State.
6. Washington State is America’s gateway to the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, B.C.
7. Washington leads the country in technology industry employment.
8. Grand Coulee Dam, the largest concrete structure in North America, is in Washington State.
9. Washington’s residents are educated; it’s the state with most residents holding high school diplomas.
10. Seattle leads the country in residents with more college degrees per capita.
11. Father’s Day was founded here in 1910.
12. The state is home to the world’s largest private car collection featuring over 3,000 vehicles.
13. Washington is home to the largest land mollusk in North America, a foraging banana slug that grows
up to 9 inches long.
14. In Washington, a Seahawk is an athlete, not a bird. The closest thing to a Seahawk is an osprey hawk.
15. Washington’s entrepreneur ial climate has made it the leading state for both start-up and gazelles, or fast growing young companies.
16. Washington, the 42nd state in the union, is the only state named for a president.
17. Seattle gets less rainfall annually than Atlanta, Boston, New York, Houston, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Washington D.C. and Miami, with 37 inches.
18. Seattle has the highest concentration of aerospace jobs in the world, led by Boeing’s 50,000 workers.
19. Our homegrown musicians include Jimi Hendrix, Nirvana, Kenny G, The Wailers, Pat Boone, Bing Crosby, Quincy Jones, among others.
20. Petrified wood is the state’s gem, and there’s a petrified forest here that’s considered the most un usual fossil forest in the world.
21. Washington State defines innovation. Some of the leading
employers include Microsoft, Amazon.Com, Nordstrom, Boeing, Costco and Starbuck’s.
22. Washington has hosted the Wor ld’s Fair twice: 1962 in Seattle and 1974 in Spokane.
23. Washington produces 70 percent of the nation’s hops used to brew beer. Coincidentally, to overcome beer breath, the majority of the nation’s mint is also grown in the state.
24. The longest accessible beach in the U.S. is in Washington, the 28-mile-long stretch aptly named Long Beach.
25. Washington is a leader in health sciences research; it ranks tops in scientists and engineers as a percentage of workforce.
26. ‘Tales from the Far Side’ cartoonist Gary Larson is a Washington native and still lives in the Seattle area.
27. Washington has the largest ferry system in the nation — 26 million passengers travel by ferry each year.
28. The state’s nickname is the Evergreen State for its abundant Evergreen forests.
29. It is America’s raspberry capital, harvesting more than 57 million pounds of raspberries each year.
30. Washington is the country’s second largest producer of wine, with its more than 350 wineries gaining international attention.
31. More people in Seattle commute to work on bicycles than any other city nationwide.
32. Washington’s Hells Canyon is the deepest River Gorge in North America, deeper than the Grand Canyon at over 5,500 feet deep.
33. One in every six Washingtonians owns a boat in this state where recreational and the commercial boating industry leads the country.
34. Kennewick Man, a 9,000-year-old skeleton, the oldest ever discovered in the Americas, was found in Washington in 1996.
35. The first revolving restaurant in the continental U.S. was built in Seattle’s Space Needle for the 1962 World’s Fair.
36. The cleanest air in the nation is found in a Washington community, Bellingham, according to the EPA and American Lung Association.
37. Washington’s cows produce m ore milk per cow than any other state, totaling 1.3 billion pounds of milk each year.
38. Seattle’s world-famous glass artist Dale Chihuly has put Washington on the international map, second only to Venice in number and skill of glassblowing artists.
39. Mark Rypien, 1992 Super Bowl MVP, is a Washington native and resides in Washington State.
40. Washington is the nation’s top apple producing state, with 10-12 billion apples handpicked annually.
41. Seattle sells more sunglasses per capita than any other major city in the nation.

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!” The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much. “The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.”

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.” “This will be noted.”
Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.

The phone rings at Tom’s house. “Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?” “Yeah!” “Did they chop your firewood?” “Yeah they did.” “Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”