This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Messages - SonnenKinder
8461
« on: November 25, 2009, 05:37:30 PM »
1) When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
2) When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what’s keeping you from getting it. We don’t need to know that you can’t get into your mail because your computer won’t power on at all.
3) When I.T. support sends you an email with high importance, delete it at once. We’re just testing.
4) When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.
5) Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
6) When something’s wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person’s chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.
7) When an I.T. person tells you that he’ll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: “And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?” That motivates us.
:huhh: When the printer won’t print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
9) When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
10) If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.
11) When you get a message saying “Are you sure?” click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren’t sure, you wouldn’t be doing it, would you?
12) When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We’ve got lots of disk space on that mail server.
13) We don’t really believe that you’re a bunch of ungrateful twits. It hurts our feelings that you could even think such a thing. We wish to express our deepest gratitude to the hundreds of clueless losers portrayed herein, without whom none of this would have been remotely possible. :happy:
8462
« on: November 25, 2009, 05:26:52 PM »
Accountant – Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
Auditor – Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Banker – The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
Economist – An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Statistician – Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
Actuary – Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
Programmer – Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
Mathematician – A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.
Lawyer – A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief.”
Psychologist – A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Schoolteacher – A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
Consultant – Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
Diplomat – Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. :angr:
8463
« on: November 25, 2009, 05:12:05 PM »
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!”
8464
« on: November 25, 2009, 05:07:30 PM »
A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do anything you want.” Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The programmer said, “Look, I’m a programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend — but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”
8465
« on: November 25, 2009, 05:00:13 PM »
A doctor, a lawyer and a programmer were discussing if it’s better to have a wife or a girlfriend.
Lawyer:
“A girlfriend is better. If you divorce your wife, that’s causing a lot of problems.”
Doctor:
“A wife is better. That’s secure so you don’t have to worry so much.”
Programmer:
“You need both. When the wife thinks you’re with your girlfriend and your girlfriend thinks you’re with your wife – then no one disturbs you while programming.”
8466
« on: November 25, 2009, 04:54:19 PM »
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.” The man below replies, “You must work in management.”
“I do” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
8467
« on: November 25, 2009, 04:49:44 PM »
A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
“Hey, don’t you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn’t you see the giant warning on the box?!”
“That’s OK” says the guy, puffing casually “I’m a computer programmer”
“So? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“We don’t care about warnings. We only care about errors.”
:happy:
8468
« on: November 25, 2009, 09:20:51 AM »
r u dt naive u dun understand this BS :wait:
8469
« on: November 25, 2009, 09:19:05 AM »
its badddddddddddddd
veer g to gt emotional is not bad but to express or flaunt ur emotions aint gud. its like revealing your weakness to whole world
8470
« on: November 25, 2009, 09:16:49 AM »
:hehe: :hehe: lassi
in today's world when everything is motivated by self interests, does "Love" holds any significance? in simple words LOVE is juss a B.S..and wot i always tell ma frends dt Love is a state of mind when mind is out of mind.
8471
« on: November 25, 2009, 09:03:46 AM »
If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she’s going to call it Mom. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Oh my days.
 u liked it. I, for past two weeks, wnna ask you about that locked post. what is logic behind posts those are locked? will u please explain?
8472
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:10:22 AM »
hahahahhaha keh skde oo :pagel:
rabb is biased :lost:
8473
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:09:02 AM »
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww :hug: :hug: :hug:
:happy: lagga c koi gall type karan par tere :marro: dar gaya
8474
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:07:42 AM »
changi gal aa :huhh:
mei ta hamesha changi gal karda ik dam khari
8475
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:06:32 AM »
hahhahahhahha bechara son..aunty ji ehna julam pyar nal.... :hehe:
aunty nu ni aandi banani.oh tan punjabi khana b ni khande :lost:
8476
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:05:00 AM »
jao ji jao mauja karo
appa ta jamme hi mauja karan lai bas parai thori jehi rukawat paida kar dendi sadia mauja vich
8477
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:02:35 AM »
hhahahhaahhahahahahhaha :hehe: :hehe: free ch mar gea
pay kar ke koun marda :lost:
8478
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:01:41 AM »
these points are nt aplicable for india  :
tell dt to Rahul, he says its everywhere not only in australia
8479
« on: November 25, 2009, 07:00:36 AM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
kine banai fer oh :pagel:
kise punjabi canadian ne :happy:
8480
« on: November 25, 2009, 06:59:51 AM »
:lol:
shukr eh samj aa gaya. ni ta tenu joke 3 din baad samjh aanda te 4th day hassdi tu :hehe:
|
Show Posts