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Messages - SonnenKinder
8101
« on: November 30, 2009, 07:21:11 PM »
One summer afternoon, Former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. After a long road trip, they stopped at a service station to fill up their car with gas.
As it turns out, the owner of the gas station was Hillary's old high school boyfrined. They exchanged hello's and brief chit-chat before the former White House couple went on their way.
As they were making their way back home, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey... if you had stayed with him, you would now be the wife of a service station owner."
She smirked and replied, "No Bill, if I had stayed with him... he would have been the President of the United States!"
8102
« on: November 30, 2009, 07:16:00 PM »
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.
8103
« on: November 30, 2009, 07:09:27 PM »
Dr. Smith recently got his doctorate in psychology and his first assignment was to visit the community retirement home for the patient's monthly mental examination.
He sees his first patient and asks him, "Ralph, how much is six times six?" Ralph responds "74." He asks the next resident, "Tim, how much is six times six?" Tom responds, "Thursday." Expecting more of the same, he approaches Randy and asks him, "Randy, how much is six times?" "THIRTY-SIX" replies Randy. "That's right Randy, well done! Now tell me how did you know that answer?" "Oh it was easy... I just subtracted 74 from Thursday!"
8104
« on: November 30, 2009, 07:05:40 PM »
One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole - killing them both instantly.
The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he'll get back with them on that request.
A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can - in fact - get married in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks "Just wondering, if things don't work out will we be able to get a divorce?"
With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out "Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here... you really think I'm gonna find a lawyer?"
8105
« on: November 30, 2009, 06:59:36 PM »
James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn't wake up.
He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you," demanded James, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?" The mysterious man answered "This is not your bedroom, and my name is St. Peter".
James didn't take the news so well... "You mean I'm dead! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't even said goodbye to my family... you've got to send me back right away!"
St. Peter replied "You cannot go back as you were, you have passed away James. However, you can be reincarnated - but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." James was devastated, but knowing that there was a farm just down the road from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking at corn on the ground. "This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt a strange feeling churning inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, huh? How are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies James, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "haven't you ever laid an egg before?"
"Never" replies James.
"Well just relax and let it happen."
And so he did, and just a few uncomfortable seconds later an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him - emotions got the better of him as he experienced the joy motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!
The joy of motherhood continued to build and, just as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shout "James, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed!"
8106
« on: November 30, 2009, 06:51:10 PM »
After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.
After a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window... nothing. The priest taps again and this time clears his throat a bit... still nothing. At this point the priest begins to lose his patience and bangs on the window.
Finally the dunk yells out... "Ain't no use knocking, there ain't no paper over here either!"
8107
« on: November 30, 2009, 06:13:08 PM »
8108
« on: November 30, 2009, 05:52:06 PM »
8109
« on: November 30, 2009, 11:05:25 AM »
feex ki hunda? :lost:
tubelight its fix mein taa us di accent ape kiti ci :lost:
8110
« on: November 30, 2009, 11:04:09 AM »
:hehe: :hehe: :hehe: ungali fadunde ne hath fad lea
:laugh: pagal hona jenu hath hi nazar aaya pharan nu
8111
« on: November 30, 2009, 11:02:42 AM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  : :
ana mein chndgrh 1 mahina tak iko bar siapa kar di bas gadasa tez kar lai
8112
« on: November 30, 2009, 11:00:13 AM »
mera ik dost aa bada acha .. oh java tere varga aa.huuhh bannda bohat aa huuh :huhh: java tere jive.. tu javan ohde vrga aa....
ik var ohdi v hawa nikal chuki aa...teri kasar reh gai aa :hehe: :hehe:
mere vich hwa ni haigi. roz saver loo vich kadh aanda :lost:
8113
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:58:43 AM »
i have no idea about wat u r saying
but i sure know we are suppose to laugh at it :happy:
: ni koi eni b jabrdsti ni hasan li :happy:
8114
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:56:56 AM »
jama bakwas : :
ghar di murgi dal brabr
8115
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:55:57 AM »
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: samjh a agea :laugh: :laugh:
shukr va. now u qualify for final round of Blonde of Year 2009 Award :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
8116
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:54:37 AM »
hehehhehe hor pe hor pe :hehe: :hehe:
uncle jee di gall c eho :laugh:
8117
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:53:39 AM »
kiyuki oh tere varge hunde aa :
menu kinwe pehchana tu?
8118
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:52:21 AM »
tu menu fer bolnde kehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :angr:
hun ni kehnda, blone mere pichhe pe jaan gay ki sadi bejti krda rehnda
8119
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:51:11 AM »
:huhh: :huhh: :huhh:
pendu kuria sidhi hundia shreef
8120
« on: November 30, 2009, 10:36:56 AM »
tenu ese di kasar rehndi aa mere kolo :marro: :marro: ala ala
hun ho gaya recharge mein :happy:
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