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Messages - SonnenKinder
7401
« on: December 07, 2009, 09:31:24 PM »
damnnn ....SOme body go get the ICEE...cause Frenchmen just gott burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..
French r most ungrateful ppz
7402
« on: December 07, 2009, 09:24:45 PM »
ahahahahhahaha damn this is funny..... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:.....i guess he is very good with customers..
and I guess, he is owner of dt store by now :happy:
7403
« on: December 07, 2009, 09:23:45 PM »
hollaaa :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Every man has a wild animal in him.
7404
« on: December 07, 2009, 09:21:18 PM »
oh man i have these pics saved on ma University's Computer.....they are soo funny...
funny and educational :laugh: No wonder you had it on ur uni comp
7405
« on: December 07, 2009, 09:19:59 PM »
that's horrible :laugh:
Engineering brought millions of changes to our life style. Guess what? One engineering masterpiece (automobile) changed our dress, manners, social customs, vacation habits, the shape of our cities, consumer purchasing patterns, common tastes and what not. And guys like me still tell jokes on Engineers :happy: yes horrible
7406
« on: December 07, 2009, 08:54:37 PM »
cant imagine world without engineers
Engineering Miracles are indistinguishable from magic
7407
« on: December 07, 2009, 07:46:09 PM »
7408
« on: December 07, 2009, 07:33:31 PM »
AIR TRANSPORTATION  CIVIL ENGINEERING COMMUNICATION COMPUTERS ENTERTAINMENT GROUND TRANSPORTATION MUSIC
7409
« on: December 07, 2009, 07:08:16 PM »
7410
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:46:04 PM »
A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta ."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says "one".
The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65".
The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."
7411
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:39:37 PM »
A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If
I give you this money, will you use it to buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago." The homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" The woman
asked.
"No. I don't waste time shopping." The homeless woman said. "I need
to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" The woman
asked.
"Are you NUTS!" Replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done In 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight."
The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, And I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a
Woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine!"
7412
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:36:48 PM »
An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes too long to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked very sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible!", he bellowed. "Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly stated, "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate your country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
7413
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:32:13 PM »
With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.
The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The minister inquired trips to where? "For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."
The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"
Ralph: "I'm going to go get her."
7414
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:27:20 PM »
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab . "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car
7415
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:22:07 PM »
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until
one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:
"Have you any grounds"?
"Yes, an acre and half and nice little home".
"No, I meant what is the foundation of this case"?
It's made of concrete "I don't think you understand. Does either of you
have a real grudge"?
"No, we have carport, and not need one".
I mean, what are your relations like?
"All my relations still in Poland".
"Is there any infidelity in your marriage"?
"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player".
"Does your wife beat you up"?
"No, I always up before her".
"Is your wife a nagger"?
"No, she white".
"Why do you want this divorce"?
"She going to kill me".
"What makes you think that"?
"I got proof".
"What kind of proof"?
"She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in
bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
7416
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:17:24 PM »
A woman who died found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter.
She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?"
To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one more thing before you can enter."
The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do to pass through the gates.
"Spell a word," St. Peter replied.
"What word?" she asked.
"Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice." The woman promptly replied, "Then the word I will spell is love. L-O-V-E."
St. Peter congratulated her on her good fortune to have made it to Heaven, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom.
"I'd be honored," she said, "but what should I do if someone comes while you are gone?"
St. Peter reassured her, and instructed the woman to simply have any newcomers to the Pearly Gates to spell a word as she had done.
So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair and watching the beautiful angels soaring around her when a man approaches the gates. She realizes it is her husband.
"What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?"
Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so drunk when I left your funeral, I was in an accident. And now I am here? Did I really make it to Heaven?"
To which the woman replied, "Not yet. You must spell a word first."
"What word?" he asked.
The woman responded, "Czechoslovakia."
7417
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:11:41 PM »
A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it", she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just cannot understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like.... Hellooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!"
7418
« on: December 07, 2009, 06:01:09 PM »
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking
buddy, Paddy.. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their
upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around
and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back
pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and
looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and
bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and
began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and
stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and
butt...and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Flynn said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Mary said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken
glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing
through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's
all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror
7419
« on: December 07, 2009, 05:55:36 PM »
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
7420
« on: December 07, 2009, 10:30:34 AM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
two or at the most three years and these fantasies wud come true :happy:
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