This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Messages - SonnenKinder
6701
« on: December 20, 2009, 06:48:02 PM »
6702
« on: December 20, 2009, 09:39:32 AM »
GOOD
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post in the Manawatu with a Fine of $160 included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $160.
The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
BETTER
A cop from the NZ Police was watching for speeders, but wasn't getting many.
Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road
with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.'
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading
'TIPS' and a bucket full of money.
(And we used to just sell lemonade!)
BEST
A young woman was pulled over for speeding.
As a NZ Policeman walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket
book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Policeman's
Ball.'
He replied, 'NewZealand Policemen don't have balls.'
There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd
just said.
He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.
She was laughing too hard to start her car
6703
« on: December 20, 2009, 09:18:36 AM »
6704
« on: December 20, 2009, 09:14:33 AM »
6705
« on: December 20, 2009, 07:20:55 AM »
World's Best
Resignation Letter?
Dear Mr. Baker,
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during our commission of duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to your employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" as it is explained to you for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
You wander around the building all day, shiftlessly seeking fault in others. You have a sharp dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however, I have a few parting thoughts:
When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation as I have consistently performed my duties and even more. The most you can say to hurt me is, "I prefer not to comment." To keep you honest, I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
I have all the passwords to every account on the system and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I will publish your "Favorites," which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not viewed favorably by the university administrations.
When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mother's b-day," you neglected to mention that you were going to take nude pictures of yourself in the mirror. Then, like the techno-moron you are, you forgot to erase them I assure you that those photos are being kept in safe places pending your authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (And, for once, would you please try to use spellcheck? I hate correcting your mistakes.)
I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody and all of your twisted little repugnant obsessions will become public knowledge. Never mess with your systems administrator, Mr. Baker! They know what you do with all that free time!
Sincerely
David Blocker
Network Administrator
6706
« on: December 20, 2009, 06:46:38 AM »
Want To Be Six Again
To Whom it May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.
I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.
I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset.
I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, prejudice, starving and abused kids, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain and mortality.
I want to be six again.
I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death.
I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing.
I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them.
I want to be six again.
I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me.
I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else.
I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for.
I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist and how to find the money to fix the old car.
I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want that time back.
I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth.
I want to be six again.
6707
« on: December 20, 2009, 03:55:12 AM »
 A young lady or an old lady (the old lady's nose is the young lady's chin) A Rabbit look right or A duck looking left? A lady sitting her dressing table or a skull? (try blinking or moving away from screen) Two faces or one? A man playing saxophone or a lady in silhouette? A North American Indian Face or an Eskimo?
6708
« on: December 20, 2009, 02:35:16 AM »
that´s great.... ja great thought bro....
6709
« on: December 20, 2009, 02:34:01 AM »
naa jungle ch kalle snakes labhe c :marro: :marro:
aho snakeni ta PJ vich haigi :laugh:
6710
« on: December 20, 2009, 02:32:12 AM »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
That was unexpected :hehe:
 : yea hubby ta bechara hava vich ur ria c. sari fook nikl gai :laugh:
6711
« on: December 20, 2009, 02:31:06 AM »
hahahaha An Absolutely Brilliant Joke ton mainu ik joke yaad eya
i made it as clean as i could :hehe:
nice one. i archived it :laugh:
6712
« on: December 20, 2009, 02:29:37 AM »
Coz the other person deserves this.... : : jk :hehe:
eda lagda jida sapni jeeb kad ri haigi
6713
« on: December 20, 2009, 02:25:38 AM »
very nice work and true
one of my friend told me he saw a sardar begging in Mumbai sumwhere and other punjabi guy walked upto him and slapped him and said " Why don't you go and work"
and he then helped him to find a work.its all good now
its not about begging its about hard work and earning money
its about dignity too.
6714
« on: December 20, 2009, 02:24:39 AM »
=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> good bro,,,,,,,tu ehnu agge le ke ayea ,,,thnxx  : :
ehnu ma ni agge le ke aaya. eh ta saade vich shuru to hai.
6715
« on: December 20, 2009, 12:24:08 AM »
nice work
isto baad magnetic tape ayi si i guess
hun pta ni veere mein ta jammia v ni c odo
6716
« on: December 20, 2009, 12:22:18 AM »
baap re baap......satyaanaas.........ehdoon tan jungle car banaa dinde oh sohnaa lagdaa 8-> 8->
snakes jungle vich b ta honde.
6717
« on: December 20, 2009, 12:15:13 AM »
i just see the car and tell you the history to the beginning if i can
ive driven most of the cars and never crashed one thank god for that :)
what do you drive?/ride?
drive a machine dt was promised on my 21st b'day but gifted on 23rd b'day. wht machine cud possibly hv dt much waiting list?
6718
« on: December 20, 2009, 12:00:19 AM »
ahhahhahahahah
poor hubby :laugh:
6719
« on: December 19, 2009, 11:59:22 PM »
mainu thori samaj ne laggi but it sounds interesting,, When do we get to fly in harrier,, It can take of verticly i likie,,,,
police radars were locked on to RAF Harriet and not to a speeding motor
6720
« on: December 19, 2009, 11:57:18 PM »
|
Show Posts