nah nah sonen veere pnjabi lion ne sach keha c ..par tu tan kudiya nu makhan la rha :hehe: :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:

hehehe PUNJABI Lion apna veera onu jara tease kr reha c  :happy:

 
.
Nine Words Women Use
 
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, Buzz Off!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".

A cowboy named Bud

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and a YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular BLUETOOTH cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.  He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That's right.  Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That's correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy.  “You showed up here even though nobody called you;  you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.  You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are;  and you don't know a thing about cows ... this is a herd of sheep.”

“Now give me back my dog.”

 

lol achaa....saas di badi tention a tenu .....ki gal.?

tanu free ch suggestion ditta

boy--dad sadi gwandi di kuri nu english nahi aundi.......

father-- tenu kida pta....?

boy-- GIVE ME A KISS keha tan thappad maar k chali gayiii

sheru tu hi hona :laugh: :laugh:

ohna ne jagah jagah te naake laye hoye ne....
saare pange v tere hi paye hoye ne....
2-4 din gharo bahar na jawi...
bahar BANDAR fadan waale aye hoye ne........ :pagel:

teek a veer  :laugh: :laugh:

A man dies and appears at The Pearly Gates.
 
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?  Have you exhibited courage?"  St. Peter asks.
 
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.  "Once I came upon a group of bikers who were bothering a young woman.  I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.  So I approached the largest and meanest looking one.  I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground.  Then I told him, now get out of here."
 
St. Peter was visibly impressed. "When did this happen?"
 
"Just a few minutes ago."

 

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:  'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'.

”Can you read this?” the optician asked.

“Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account."

To which the astonished woman replies, I beg your pardon, sir;  I must have misunderstood you.  What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it.  I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."

So saying, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no friggin’ problem, dammit!" the man says;  "I just won $50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?

 

  After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

 Not to be out-done by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, in California an archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: 'California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'

 One week later, a local newspaper in North Carolina, reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Henson Cove, Haywood County North Carolina, Bubba Rathbone, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing.  Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, North Carolina had already gone wireless.