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Messages - SonnenKinder
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5 6 7 ... 467
21
« on: April 06, 2012, 11:27:34 AM »
Lord of the Rings..Drinking game
22
« on: April 06, 2012, 03:46:40 AM »
23
« on: April 04, 2012, 06:47:21 PM »
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events is put into motion: Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces,
and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine… (6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer
while he flips the meat
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine…
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that
there’s just no pleasing some women…
24
« on: April 04, 2012, 06:39:43 PM »
25
« on: April 04, 2012, 06:34:33 PM »
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids. Lori, age 8
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. Martin, age 10 (Who said boys do not have brains)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. Craig, age 9
When they’re rich. Pam, age 7 (I could not have said it better myself)
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. Curt, age 7 (Good Point)
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule)
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is……..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. Ricky, age 10 (The boy already understands)
26
« on: March 31, 2012, 12:39:02 AM »
27
« on: March 28, 2012, 07:50:31 PM »
english translation curtesy Paul
28
« on: March 28, 2012, 07:36:13 PM »
29
« on: March 28, 2012, 07:32:41 PM »
Remind me of the Boeing company!
30
« on: March 28, 2012, 07:24:34 PM »
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move. 'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' 'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.' 'Where's Barrack Obama's clock?' asked the man. 'Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.
31
« on: March 28, 2012, 07:10:37 PM »
1. A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
2. A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
3. The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
4. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
5.It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
32
« on: March 28, 2012, 07:00:59 PM »
33
« on: March 28, 2012, 05:09:48 AM »
YOU ARE REGRETFULLY INVITED
TO THE WEDDING BETWEEN MY PERFECT SON THE DOCTOR AND SOME CHEAP TWO-BIT TRAMP WHOSE NAME ESCAPES ME RIGHT NOW THE BIGGEST DISASTER IN MY FAMILY'S HISTORY WILL TAKE PLACE AT 9 pm on Sunday, September 8th AND NO DOUBT END IN DIVORCE.
HOPEFULLY IN TIME TO STILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR AN ANNULMENT.
THE OVERWHELMINGLY DISAPPOINTING HEARTBREAK CEREMONY WILL BE FOLLOWED BY DINNER, WHERE NUTS WILL BE SERVED BECAUSE WHATSHERFACE HAS AN ALLERGY.
34
« on: March 22, 2012, 09:35:31 PM »
Her Diary Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation was not flowing so I suggested we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said," Nothing". I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he was not upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u too". When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore . He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But i still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep--- I cried. I don't know what to do. I am almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. His Diary Motorcycle won't start.......can't figure out why.
35
« on: March 22, 2012, 09:11:05 PM »
36
« on: March 22, 2012, 09:00:18 PM »
37
« on: March 22, 2012, 08:48:13 PM »
I thought it was a/s/l
=/
asl= after shave lotion???????
38
« on: March 20, 2012, 03:42:44 AM »
39
« on: March 20, 2012, 03:37:12 AM »
Do u know both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden were announced dead on MAY 1?
40
« on: March 20, 2012, 03:31:02 AM »
1. I hv read and agree to the terms of service.
2. Status: Off line.
3. Yes I am over 18 years old.
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