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Messages - SonnenKinder
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141
« on: March 04, 2011, 03:29:45 AM »
142
« on: March 04, 2011, 03:10:31 AM »
haHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHH  : :D:
:laugh: Also read "message from Queen" in Fun Time. Its more funny.
143
« on: March 04, 2011, 03:08:13 AM »
 To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen! PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!
144
« on: March 04, 2011, 02:43:49 AM »
Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
A contestant Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau.
If she answered the next question correctly, she would win
$1,000,000.
If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000
milestone money.
And as she suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover.
It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build
its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?
Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer.
She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline.
All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.
She hoped she would not have to use it because........ Her friend was, well, a blonde.
But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly:
'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast.
She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any
answer except the one that her friend had given her.
And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such
confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be
convinced.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'
'Is that your final answer?'
'Yes, that is my final answer.'
'That answer is Absolutely correct!
You are now a millionaire!'
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
'Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you, ' said the contestant.
'How did you happen to know the right answer?'
'Oh, come on,' said the blonde 'Everybody knows that cuckoos
don't build nests. They live in clocks.'
Sally fainted
145
« on: March 04, 2011, 02:28:21 AM »
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited
about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on
five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the
words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. . . YEAS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1.
Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2.
Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3.
Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4.
Enjoy the simple things.
5.
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6.
The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7.
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, friends, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8.
Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9.
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
146
« on: March 04, 2011, 01:29:31 AM »
I miss him :happy:
I too miss u Miss :)Queen of sarcasm!
147
« on: March 04, 2011, 01:14:36 AM »
got ya...
I'm not a big fan of the Islamic religion (infact religion at all), I'll hold my views before i create a riot here. :happy:
Wats jama dheeth?
148
« on: February 26, 2011, 05:53:58 AM »
sonnennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn welcome back :hug:
lol i didnt even read da topic...i saw ur name n i was like omggggggg :omg: hes bakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk wohooooooooooooooo :excited:
: aiite ima go bak n read ur topic now !
onda rea kar sonnen ... we all miss u :hug:
haaan ji onda reha ga. exams c na ni aa hoia. Why u guys keep changing ur nicks? I hardly recognise a nick except Rahul's n powerlifter's.
149
« on: February 26, 2011, 04:55:04 AM »
Small mistakes you ignore,they later on become problems..
You ignore them anyways .
WELCOME BACK BROTHER! :hug:
Thx Bro :)
150
« on: February 26, 2011, 03:58:29 AM »
People are illogical, self centered and unreasonable. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will have false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good u do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make u vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest men and women with biggest ideas can be shot down by smallest men and women with smallest minds. Think big anyway. People favor underdogs but always follow top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. What u spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if u do help them. Help people anyway. Give the world best you have and you get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
151
« on: August 06, 2010, 09:49:35 PM »
152
« on: August 06, 2010, 09:35:27 PM »
Blue Whale in Antartica It has been estimated that during the feeding season in Antarctica, a full grown blue whale eats about 4 million krill per day (krill are small shrimp-like creatures), that’s 3600 kg or 4 tons – every day for 6 months. Having laid down a layer of fat from this feeding activity in Antarctica, they then starve for several months; this daily intake would feed a human for about 4 years.
It is estimated at the height of the feeding season in Antarctica an adult blue whale consumes 3-4% of their own body weight in krill per day.Antarctica Sea-ice When the Antarctic sea-ice begins to expand at the beginning of winter, it advances by around 40,000 square miles (100,000 square kilometres) per day, and it eventually doubles the size of Antarctica, which adds up to an extra 20 million square kilometers of ice around the land mass,that’s one and a half USA’s, two Australia’s or 50 UK’s worth of ice e area that forms, then breaks up and melts each year.
According to research ,sea ice around Antarctica has expanded at a rate of around 100,000 sq kms (38,610 sq miles) a decade since the 1970s and it is due to hole in the ozone.Antarctica and Meteorites Antarctica is the best place in the world to find meteorites. Dark meteorites show up against the white expanse of ice and snow and don’t get covered by vegetation. In some places, the way the ice flows concentrates meteorites there. The ice makes them gather in one place,it is believed that the first meteorites were discovered by a Japanese science team sent to Antarctica to study glaciers.
According to scientists, (meteorite found in Antarctica contains Martian fossils and organic chemicals) and it is believed that it contains important traces of life on mars.Ice Cap at Antarctica Ninety per cent of the world’s ice and approximately 80 per cent of its fresh water is locked up in the Antarctic ice sheet; the ice cap at Antarctic contains 29 million cubic kilometers of ice. This constitutes nearly between 60 – 70% of all of the fresh water in the world. If all the ice were to melt, the level of the world’s oceans would rise by nearly 60 m. However, the response of the ice sheet to global warming is the largest unknown in projecting future sea level over the next 100–1000 years.Weight of the Ice at Antarctica If the weight of the ice were removed it is estimated that the underlying rock would rise on average by 1000 m. This process – known as isostatic uplift – would take many tens of thousands of years. Without the ice we would see the single mass of East Antarctica and a smaller archipelago of rugged mountainous islands – West Antarctica.
153
« on: August 06, 2010, 08:59:09 PM »
kithe rehnde milde nai aaj kal hun ta fifa v muk gaya a :angr: :angr: :angr: :angr: :angr: :angr:
m back home and busy in uni :happy: oda v jera time PJ te waste karna oho parai te use karna
154
« on: July 30, 2010, 07:32:48 PM »
/:) kanjro phela women labh ta do ....
fir dekh lvnge kehdi chez vadiya a :pagel:
wots kanjro?
155
« on: July 30, 2010, 07:31:31 PM »
galt apa kende kad aa sonnen g??
bilkul g phir teek bolia tusi 8->
156
« on: July 30, 2010, 07:29:58 PM »
tusi har post 2 vari kyon karde o
coz i suffer from split personality syndrome :happy:
157
« on: July 24, 2010, 08:41:06 PM »
ahhahahahahahah funny jror sonnen nu eh warn ayi c hana sonnen g
lol tusi teek hi kahnde ho
158
« on: July 24, 2010, 08:40:00 PM »
Putting the fun back in FUNeral
159
« on: July 24, 2010, 08:12:35 PM »
aaa ki a....kuch samjh ni aaya...
manu aap ni aya :happy:
160
« on: July 23, 2010, 09:18:05 PM »
lol at Apple computer...
:laugh:
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