year 2020
place: Two Americans at IBM, USA.
Currency Conversion Rate: Rs.1 = US$100.

Alex : Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to
office?
John : Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.
Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that they're
strict.
John : Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex :How long it took to get it stamped?

John : Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates

was standing in front of me and they played with him

like anything.That's why it got delayed. I went there

at 2 am itself and waited and returned by 4PM.

 

Alex : Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour

to get stamped  for USA.

John : Yeah, but that is because who in India will be

interested in coming to USA man, their economy has

been booming.

 

Alex : So, when are you leaving?

John : Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the

client in India  and you know, I will be getting a

chance to fly Air-India. Sort  of dream come true.

 

Alex :How long are you going to stay in India.

John : What do you mean by how long. I will be

settled in India, my > company has promised me that

they will process my Hara Patta.

 

Alex : Really, lucky person man, it is very

difficult to get a Hara  Patta in India.

John : Yeah, thats why, I am planning to marry an

Indian girl there.

 

Alex : But you can find lots of US girls in

Hyderabad, Bangalore and  Mumbai.

John : Yeah, but I prefer Indian girls because they

are beautiful and cultured.

 

Alex : Where did you get the offer, Hyderabad?

John : Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of

living is quite high, it is Rs. 1000/- for a single

room accommodation.

 

Alex : I see, that's too much for US people, Rs. 1 =

$ 100. Oh God! What about in  Chennai, Mumbai?

John : No idea, but it is less than what we have in

Hyderabad. It is like the world headquarters of

Software.

 

Alex : I heard, almost all the Indians are having

one personal Robot for help.

John : You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a

personal Robot for less than Rs.7500/-. But my dream

is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.200000/- and

has got a sexy design.

 

Alex : By the way, who is your client?

John : Reddy and Naidu Associates, a pure Indian

company, specializing in Embedded Software.

 

Alex : Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian

company. They are really intelligent and unlike

American Bodyshoppers who have opened their

Fly-by-night outfits in India. Indian companies pay

you in full even when you are on bench. My friend

Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit

Bihar, the most livable place in India, probably

world. There you have full freedom and no

restrictions. You can  do whatever you want! I wonder

how that state has perfected that system.

John : Yeah man, you are right. I hope our America

also follows  their footsteps.

 

Alex : How are you going to cope with their

language?

John : Why not? From my school days I have been

learning Hindi as my first language here at New York.

At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi

and were quite impressed by my cent percent score in

TOHIL i.e.Test of Hindi as International language.

 

Alex : So, you are going to have fun there.

John : Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's

fastest train,  world's largest theme park, and the

famous Bollywood where you can  see actors like,

Shahrukh, and all. Esselworld is also near to

Bollywood. 

 

Alex : You know, the PM is scheduled to

visit US next year, he may  then relax the number of

visas.

John : That's true. Last month, Narayanamurthy

IInfosys)visited White House and donated Rs. 20000/-

for infrastructure development at Silicon Valley and

has promised more if we follow the model of High-Tech

City of Hyderabad. Bill Gates also got a chance of

meeting him.  Very lucky person.

 

Alex : But, Indian government is planning to split

Narayanamurthy's Infosys.

John  He is a hard worker man, he can build any

number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is

getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you  keep all his

money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach

Pluto.

 

Alex : OK, Good Luck John.

John : Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate

in a Kurta Pyjama because they  will think you are too

Indianised and may doubt you  will ever come back and

hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get  rejected.  But

don't forget to say "Namaste, aap kaise hai" to the

Visa  officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and

will not give you  a visa if you don't greet him that

way.

Visakhapatnam: The wife of a poor pani puri vendor has become a software engineer in Infosys, thanks to her husband's support. Sheik Salar, 26, a street hawker, used every rupee he earned to help his wife Fatima Bibi Sheik, 21, achieve her academic ambitions. And it was not in vain. Fatima completed her course at Gayatri Vidya Parishad College of Engineering with high marks and was given a plum posting by the software giant in a campus selection.

In fact, she is the first student from the college to get into Infosys. Fatima and Salar stay in a slum at Rajendranagar. While Fatima went to college, Salar roamed around the city with a pushcart selling puffed rice, corn, chilli bhajjis and pani puri, earning Rs 150 per day. When she was married off to her distant relation Salar by her parents in 2001, Fatima was just 15 and felt that she would never achieve her dream of being a software engineer.

"I did not want to marry since I wanted to study further and achieve something," she said. She was crestfallen since Salar merely nodded when she told him about her dreams. But his nod meant a lot and he started saving money to help her study. By living frugally, Salar somehow got together Rs 60,000 to pay Fatima's fee for the first and second year of her engineering course.

The Andhra Pradesh State Minorities Finance Corporation helped the couple pay the rest of the fee. "At the time of our marriage I was not sure how serious Fatima was about her studies," said Salar. "But when I realised that she got 536 marks in her SSC exams and stood first in her school, I decided to help her study." The pani puri vendor was adamant that her future should not get spoilt because she married him.


A junior college in the city provided her free intermediate education. She secured a decent rank in the Eamcet exam and opted to join the electronics and electrical engineering branch in college. "We decided not to have kids till she got a good job," said Salar. "For this, I took much criticism from my parents." Fatima's eyes moisten when she talks about her husband. "You can't imagine the hardships he suffered to help me," she said. "In the last six years, he was my strength. He sacrificed all his joys for me."


"Fatima was always first in our class," said Asha Kanthi, her classmate. "We did not know her story then. Now she is our inspiration." Though happy at the turn of events, the couple is a bit sad when thinking about their being apart for three months, when Fatima would go to the Infosys campus in Mysore for training. Have they ever quarrelled? "When we have issues, we sit together and discuss and sort it out," said Fatima. She plans to take her husband along with her when she gets her posting. Salar too is proud, for he has proved that behind every successful woman there is a man.

Take a look at this beautiful  grave  and see how wrong ppl are who say, "u leave everything behind after your death."


                                                                   

                  

The Spur of the Moment Land Deal that Created an Empire

As you can see, it's easy to take great men and accomplishments for granted. After all, Napoleon was a brilliant general, so it's easy to assume that no matter what else happened, he would have taken power in France, and got closer to conquering the world than anyone else in modern history.

Well...

The Ridiculous Coincidence

The thing was, Napoleon wasn't born in France, but on the French island of Corsica, in 1769. And as recently as the year before that, Corsica wasn't French.


Before the day the Corsican landscape presumably tore apart to deliver baby Napoleon from the earth in a storm of fire, the island was ruled by Genoa. More specifically, it was ruled by whichever filthy rich bearded Genoese banker bribed the duke enough to be granted governorship. Unfortunately, the island was constantly rebelling or being conquered by random Turks.



Finally, after five centuries of struggling, Genoa said "**** it" and gave up on Corsica. Honestly, it was pretty shitty, anyway. The duke sold it to some French guy.

Then that guy handed it over to the French crown, for whatever reason. Over the next several years, French soldiers were smuggled onto the island and stuffed into the citadels.

Finally, in 1768, Genoa and France signed a treaty, officially ceding the island to France.

And How Did it Change The World?

Out popped Napoleon Bonaparte a year later. Even though he was born to an Italian family, it was technically on French soil--and even then only tentatively, as Corsica was revolting again. Thus, he became a French citizen, which allowed him to join the French Army.




Fast forward a couple of decades. The French Revolution comes to Corsica, and the next thing anyone knows, some random Italian idiot from some backwater island nobody had ever heard of, is ruling France, and doing a hell of a job.

If the land deal had gotten delayed, or the treaty signed later, or any one of a thousand things had happened to delay the handover for a year, no Napoleon.

As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.

One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there."

As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it."

A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?"

"I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter.

"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..."

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.

"What took you so long, son?" he asked.

"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."

"How?"

"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock."

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked. "The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"


"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.


Commandment 2.

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say,

talk in your sleep.


Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand --

and divorce is at least 100 grand!


Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage,

the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks

and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and

the neighbors listen.


Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car

for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is.


Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman

become as one; the trouble starts when

they try to decide which one.


Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake

all night thinking about something you

said. After marriage, he will fall asleep

before you finish.


Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,

understanding, economical, and a good

cook. But the law allows only one wife.


Commandment 9.

Every woman wants a man who is handsome,

understanding, economical and a considerate

lover, but again, the law allows only

one husband.


Commandment 10.

Man is incomplete until he marries.

After that, he is finished.


Bonus Commandment story.

A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"