There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market.  The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.

They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel.  To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel - they said, because it was bigger.

One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you.  They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel.  Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Slowly, Johny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!

Dear Hiring Manager,

Thank you  for your letter of March 1.  After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your companies outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position in your department this August.

I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Interviewee

The prime minister of Israel sits down with Arafat at the beginning of negotiations regarding the resolution of the conflict.  Prime Minister Sharon requests that he be allowed to begin with a story.

Arafat replies, "Of course."

The prime minister begins his story: "Years before the Israelites came to the Promised Land and settled here, Moses led them for 40 years through the desert.  The Israelites began complaining that they were thirsty, and, lo and behold, a miracle occurred and a stream appeared before them.  They drank their fill and then decided to take advantage of the stream to do some bathing - including Moses.  When Moses came out of the water, he found that all his clothing was missing.

"'Who took my clothes?' Moses asked those around him.

"'It was the Palestinians,' replied the Israelites."

"Wait a minute," objected Arafat immediately, "there were no Palestinians during the time of Moses!"

"All right," replied the prime minister.  "Now that we've got that settled, let's begin our negotiations."

A woman had tickets to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals right at center ice.  As she sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to her.

"No," she says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible" said the man.  "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"

She says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me.  I was supposed to come with my husband, but he passed away.  This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that.  That's terrible.  But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The woman shook her head.  "No. They're all at the funeral."

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together.

After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.  "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said.  "I'll be back in a few minutes."

When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."

"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy.  "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four year old son standing at the fence with wide-eyes, soaking in the whole event.

The man thought to himself, "Great... he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees.  No need to jump the gun - I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad.  "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow

Four men were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.  A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"

The Saudi says, "Excuse me, what's a shortage?"

The Russian says, "Excuse me, what's meat?"

The North Korean says, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"

The New Yorker says, "Excuse me?  What's excuse me?"

Miniature France is a park located in the Élancourt area, near Paris, where many important sites and buildings reduced 30 times are presented.
Here are some pictures of the place with it’s buildings, villages and monuments!

           

           

          


          


          

Published: 22 Nov 2009 THE SUN
 
A MUM-OF-13 who costs taxpayers £50,000 a YEAR has said she won't stop having kids until she gives birth to twins.
Baby machine Sara Foss, 39, is due to give birth to her 14TH child in April but will try to get pregnant again as soon as possible to realise her dream.

The brazen mum said today: "All I've ever wanted is twins or triplets. It's my biggest wish, and I'm going to keep trying until I do it.

"It would be fantastic. In fact, I won't stop trying until I've done it. I love having babies - it's the most wonderful thing in the world."


Allowance

Sara was 16 when she had her first baby, Patrick, in 1986 - but, traumatised by giving birth, she vowed not to have any more children.

It was a decade before she changed her mind and had a second son, Stephen - and she has almost averaged a birth a YEAR ever since.

She said: "I got over my fear of labour and just started having kids. They're all brilliant. They don't give me any bother. They're fantastic."

Her mammoth brood now comprises Patrick, 23, Stephen, 13, Malachai, 12, Peppermint, 11, Echo, 10, Eli, nine, Rogue, eight, Frodo, seven, Morpheus, five, Artemis, four, Blackbird, three, Baudelaire, two, and nine-month-old Voorhees.

All bar Patrick share a three-bedroom council house with their mother and father, Sara's long-term partner Stephen Smith, 40.

Even though Stephen works as a canal boat builder, the couple receive £4,200 in tax credits and family allowance every month.

Yet Sara, who has just run up a £5,000 bill buying her children's Christmas gifts at Toys R Us, claims they have to watch every penny.

She insisted: "I had been saving up all year so that we would have enough money to get all the presents. It was really hard work.

"We were in the shop for hours. Stephen had to do several trips home to take back what we had bought. I had blisters afterwards."

Each week the family forks out around £600 on groceries - including 32 loaves of bread, 75lb of potatoes and 126 pints of milk.

They also buy 36 rolls of toilet paper, three boxes of washing powder and eight boxes of cereal during their regular supermarket shop.

The annual school uniform bill is £2,000, and their holiday at Butlin's costs even more - mainly because they have to hire a minibus.

Sara, of Derby, begins her chores at 4am every morning and keeps the house spotlessly clean to avoid being tagged a layabout scrounger.

She said: "If people saw us living in a pigsty they would say that we were a scrounging, low-life family who begged from the State.

"They would say I was a slapper for having so many children and that I couldn't even be bothered to keep the house looking nice.

"And that's so not true. Even when I'm straight I can't put my feet up. I've been known to take down curtains at midnight and wash them."

She added: "We have a lot of bunkbeds and cots. All the furniture in the bedrooms is on wheels so that we can move it at bedtime.

"Baudelaire sleeps in a travel cot, and a couple of the lads use an airbed. It's a squash and a squeeze, but it's cosy. It's home."

Now 20 weeks' pregnant with baby number 14, Sara is preparing to welcome the clan's latest arrival - and already planning for more.

She said: "I wanted two - that's the disappointing part of this pregnancy. But there's always next time. I'm going to keep trying, that's for sure."