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Topics - SonnenKinder
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41
« on: January 30, 2012, 09:22:32 PM »
Just a piece of innovative advice.
42
« on: January 19, 2012, 08:17:20 PM »
guy is right :) what u say?
43
« on: January 19, 2012, 07:57:39 PM »
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says ‘Your Eminence’.”
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well ………?”
She proudly replies, “I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38″ DD bust, 24″ waist and 34″ hips.
When she walks into a room, everybody says, “Oh My God.”
44
« on: January 19, 2012, 07:51:43 PM »
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. “Son, where were you today?” The son says “at school dad.” Robot slaps the son! “Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends house!” the son says “What dvd?” asks the father “Toy story.” Robot slaps the son again! “Ok, it was a porno” cries the son. “What!? When I was your age I didn’t know what porn was” says the dad. Robot slaps the dad! Mom laughs “HaHaHa! He’s certainly your son.” Robot slaps the mom! Awkward Silence
45
« on: December 31, 2011, 08:28:17 AM »
46
« on: December 30, 2011, 08:40:30 PM »
This model is showing makeup transformation from 10 to 60 years in one day. Her actual age is 20 years. Model appeared in this photos as if she is 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 and 60 years. Amazing work form make-up team and also fantastic facial expressions do not give out her true age. 10 years 20 years 30 years 40 years 50 years 60 years
47
« on: December 30, 2011, 08:10:18 PM »
19-year-old American girl from Florida Tempestt Henderson suffers from a psychological disorder called amylophagia, which is characterized by a desire to eat laundry starch. Temper soap and washing powder give her a great pleasure. The cause of the strange craving for household items, started when Tempestt boyfriend dumped her and went to study in another city. Then the carving started, she turned to the doctor because he understands that this habit can cause serious damage to her health, and to cope with an obsessive desire to eat a bar of soap she can not. She ate five pieces of soap weekly. Relatives hope to see her get well, happy and healthy again, as she was a child.
48
« on: December 30, 2011, 08:57:20 AM »
The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes.[1] Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.
The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. Jokes The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1950 Goon show sketch by Spike Milligan,[2] was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" [3]
The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
While this was the top joke in the UK:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
49
« on: December 30, 2011, 08:11:12 AM »
50
« on: December 29, 2011, 05:07:18 AM »
Outside England's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1 for cars ($1.40), £5 for busses (about $7).
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility. The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.
The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (or some such scenario), is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own; and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars!
And no one even knows his name.
51
« on: December 28, 2011, 06:46:29 PM »
As we all know, communication is essential in society. Advancements in technology have transformed the way that we correspond with others in the modern world, yet when conversing face-to-face, it's not only speech we verbalize that matters. Body language is truly a language of its own. We all have quirks and habits that are uniquely our own. What does your body language say about you? And what can you learn about others by becoming aware of what some of the signs mean?
I thought it would be fun to list some of the well-known signs that body language experts study and recognize. It is said that when talking to a person the information that we receive can be broken down as:
10% from what the person actually says
40% from the tone and speed of voice
50% is from their body language.
HEAD Lowering one's head can signal a lack of confidence. If someone lowers their head when complimented, they may be shy or timid
Touching or tugging at one's ear can indicate indecisiveness
Sincere smiles encompass the whole face (noticeable in the eyes)
A false smile usually only engages the lips
Tilting one's head can symbolize interest in something or someone
Overly tilted heads can be a sign of sympathy
Closing of eyes or pinching at the bridge of one's nose is often done when making a negative evaluation
When a listener nods, this is usually a positive message and relays that they are interested and paying attention
However, excessive nodding can imply that the listener has lost interest but doesn't want to be rude
Touching/rubbing one's nose may indicate doubtfulness or rejection of an idea
Sticking out one's chin toward another may show defiance
Resting a hand on one's cheek is often done if they are thinking or pondering; and stroking the chin can mean the person is trying to make a decision
UPPER BODY Pushing back one's shoulders can demonstrate power and courage
Open arms means one is comfortable with being approached and willing to talk/communicate
Folded arms show that there is a sort of barricade between them and other people (or their surroundings) and indicate dissatisfaction
Resting one's arms behind their neck shows that they are open to what is being discussed and interested in listening more
Pointing one's finger can be construed as aggression or assertiveness
Touching the front of the neck can show that someone is interested and concerned about what another is saying
Hand movements that are upward & outward signify positive and open messages
Palms that are faced outwards towards another indicate one's wish to stop and not approach
If one's fingers are interlaced or if the finger tips are pressed together, it usually shows that a person is thinking and evaluating
If offering ideas to other people, many times the sides of one's palms are close together, with fingers extended
LOWER BODY Putting your hands on your hips can show eagerness and readiness (also, at times, aggression)
Hips pushed forward, while leaning back can show that one feels powerful (also can be a suggestive gesture)
A wide stance - where one's feet are positioned far apart - signifies more power and dominance
When one sits with legs open and part, they might feel secure in their surroundings
Crossed legs can mean several things: relaxed/comfortable, or defensive - depending on how tense the leg muscles are
When you cross your legs towards another person, you are showing more interest in them than when they are crossed away in the other direction
A confident and powerful position is the "Figure of Four Cross" when one's ankle is atop the other leg's knee and the top leg is pointed sideways
Bouncing your foot if your legs are crossed can show that you are bored or losing patience
EYES The lowering of the eyes can convey fear, guilt or submission
Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on
A lack of confidence or apprehensiveness can be displayed when you don't look another person in the eyes
One tends to blink more often if nervous or trying to evaluate someone else
If you look directly into another person's eyes you are displaying self-assurance
Wide eyes show more of an interest in a subject or person
If you are irritated with a comment made by another during a conversation, a common movement is to take a quick glance sideways
Staring at someone can be an aggressive gesture or suggest that the one staring feels dominant
Recalling a memory is usually done by looking up and to the right
Looking directly upwards can indicate that one is thinking
Eye contact is normally broken if someone feels insulted by another
52
« on: December 12, 2011, 09:21:49 PM »
Cupid's arrows, laced with neurotransmitters, find their marks  Men and women can now thank a dozen brain regions for their romantic fervor. Researchers have revealed the fonts of desire by comparing functional MRI studies of people who indicated they were experiencing passionate love, maternal love or unconditional love. Together, the regions release neurotransmitters and other chemicals in the brain and blood that prompt greater euphoric sensations such as attraction and pleasure. Conversely, psychiatrists might someday help individuals who become dangerously depressed after a heartbreak by adjusting those chemicals.
Passion also heightens several cognitive functions, as the brain regions and chemicals surge. “It’s all about how that network interacts,” says Stephanie Ortigue, an assistant professor of psychology at Syracuse University, who led the study. The cognitive functions, in turn, “are triggers that fully activate the love network.” Tell that to your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day.
53
« on: December 12, 2011, 08:54:19 PM »
54
« on: December 12, 2011, 05:09:37 AM »
55
« on: December 02, 2011, 08:02:40 PM »
56
« on: November 23, 2011, 07:35:51 PM »
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. [/b]
57
« on: October 23, 2011, 11:56:53 PM »
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.
After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really has to go, after all those Guinnesses. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London police officer, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the policeman..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the policeman. "Go ahead sir, anywhere you like."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the police officer, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"
"No sir...", replied the police officer, "...that is what we call the American Embassy."
58
« on: October 23, 2011, 11:52:40 PM »
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP:
Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.
59
« on: October 23, 2011, 12:43:37 AM »
A conversation before marriage...
He : Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She : Do you want me to leave?
He : No! Don't even think about it.
She : Do you love me?
He : Of course! Over and over!
She : Have you ever cheated on me?
He : No! Why are you even asking?
She : Will you kiss me?
He : Every chance I get.
She : Will you hit me?
He : Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She : Can I trust you?
He : Yes.
She : Darling!
To read a conversation after marriage, simply read this in reverse...
60
« on: October 23, 2011, 12:37:09 AM »
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
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