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Topics - SonnenKinder
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« on: February 10, 2010, 08:10:48 PM »
UV tattoos or blacklight tattoos are tattoos made with a special ink that is only visible under a blacklight. They are particularly popular in the raver subculture. The tattoos can be completely invisible in normal light, although scarring from the tattoo machine in the application process may remain, and therefore still show. A UV tattoo becomes visible under blacklight, when it glows in colors ranging from white to purple, depending on the ink chosen. Colored ink is also available, where the ink is visible in normal light (as with a regular tattoo) but the ink will glow vividly under UV light. However, some UV inks are not as bright under normal light as normal tattoo ink and are considered not as vibrant. 
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« on: February 10, 2010, 07:36:44 PM »
Accursed from their birth they be
Who seek to find monogamy,
Pursuing it from bed to bed--
I think they would be better dead. by Dorothy Parker
323
« on: February 09, 2010, 10:15:00 PM »
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross”. The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance”. The last time the English issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards” – they don’t have any other levels.
This is the reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”.
The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The German also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.”
They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
The USA meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.
New zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA!”. Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “Shit, I hope Austrulia will come and rescue us”. In the event of invasion, New Zealander’s will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called “Bondi”.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, mate”.
Three more escalation levels remain, “Crikey!’, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is cancelled”. So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
324
« on: February 09, 2010, 09:57:50 PM »
Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women.
They are mixing the Renault Clio and the Ford Taurus and calling it the “Clitaurus.”
It comes in pink and the average male car thief won’t be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.
325
« on: February 09, 2010, 09:49:14 PM »
326
« on: February 09, 2010, 09:34:02 PM »
The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.
These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
327
« on: February 09, 2010, 08:57:56 PM »
328
« on: February 09, 2010, 08:47:33 PM »
Philippine police chased down an unfit thief in Manila on Tuesday after he ran out of breath and asked his pursuers for a "time out."
The thief and an accomplice broke into a house in the Philippine capital and stole two expensive mobile phones. Screams from the residence alerted a local police patrol, which gave chase.
During the chase one of the thieves apparently really needed to catch his breath when he decided to take a break from it all, by using the universal hand sign "time out"
After he regained his composure, police seized the two stolen phones and brought him to station for questioning.
329
« on: February 09, 2010, 08:35:39 PM »
Of course most important thing that happened during your birth year is your birth. But during tht year lots of other things too happened around the world. (certainly not cause of your birth :happy: )
If anyone of you, is curious to know wot happened during your birth year, post your year of birth and i will tell you :happy: and you certainly would enjoy it.
330
« on: February 09, 2010, 08:28:35 PM »
There are two theories about the origin of Valentine's Day. The first concerns a Roman named Valentine; to make things even more confusing, there are at least three separate versions of who Valentine was. The most romantic portrays him as a physician who lived during the time of Emperor Claudius. A gastronomist, Valentine fell afoul of the Roman authorities when he converted to Christianity, and subsequently began treating the blind daughter of one of the Emperor's prison guards. Discovered, Valentine was arrested and executed when he refused to renounce his religious beliefs. The condemned physician had fallen in love with his blind patient, and just before his death - on February 14, in 269 or 270 AD - he is supposed to have sent her a note, signed "from your Valentine."
Other Stories About St. Valentine
In another version, Valentine was a priest who violated Roman law by marrying Christian couples. There was a period of time when marriage was forbidden, as Claudius had decided single men made better soldiers, since they weren't distracted by thoughts of their families back home. Valentine's defiance of the law led to his being beaten and beheaded. Yet another version says Valentine was a bishop of Terni. What is certain is that a person by the name of Valentine existed and was persecuted for his Christian beliefs.
St. Valentine's Day Traditions
Some of the traditions associated with Valentine's Day can also be traced to the Feast of Lupercalia, a love festival honoring a pagan Roman god. Traditionally held for two weeks beginning on February 15th, in 496 AD Pope Gelasius changed the date of the festival to the 14th, in order to try and limit its more pagan elements. Instead, the celebration of love and the commemoration of Valentine (whom the Pope canonized at the same time) became forever linked.I wonder why do we celeberate Valentine's Day? Why dont we celeberate "Heer-Ranjha day?"
331
« on: February 08, 2010, 08:42:11 PM »
YELM, Wash., Feb. 8 -- Police in Yelm, Wash., allege a U.S. soldier punished his 4-year-old daughter for failing to recite the alphabet by waterboarding her.
Yelm Police Chief Todd Stancil said Joshua Tabor of the Joint Base Lewis-McChord in Tacoma, Wash., was arrested on charges he allegedly punished his daughter by holding her head backwards into a sink full of water, the New York Daily News said Monday.
Police allege Tabor, 27, chose the torture technique because his young daughter was scared of water.
Stancil said Tabor, who is facing assault of a child charges, allegedly told authorities he used the technique as many as four times.
Tabor's daughter, whose identity was not released, was placed with Child Protective Services after the soldier's arrest Sunday, the newspaper said.
Specific details regarding Tabor's military rank and military specialty were not released by police.
The Daily News said Tabor's girlfriend, whose identity was also not released, alleges the soldier struggles with anger issues and has previously beaten his young daughter.
332
« on: February 08, 2010, 08:39:03 PM »
TRENTON, Ontario, Feb. 8 -- A senior Canadian military officer has been arrested and charged with the first-degree murder of two Ontario women, authorities said.
Wing Commander Col. Russell Williams, 46, commanding officer at Canadian Forces Base Trenton in south-eastern Ontario, was arrested Sunday in connection with the deaths of Marie France Comeau, 38, and Jessica Lloyd, 27, The Montreal Gazette reported.
Lloyd was reported missing Jan. 29 when she failed to show up for work. Her last communication was a text message to a family friend Jan. 28 at 10:36 p.m., the Gazette said.
Initial helicopter and ground searches near her Belleville home, about 100 miles northeast of Toronto, turned up no sign of her. Her body was found Monday in the small town of Tweed, about 20 miles from Trenton.
Comeau, 38, was found dead in her home, in Brighton, Ontario, Nov. 25. She was a corporal in the Armed Forces and was based at Trenton.
Williams joined the Canadian Forces in 1987 and received his pilot's wings in 1990. He was promoted to major in 1999 and to lieutenant colonel in June 2004, when he was appointed commanding officer 437 (Transport) Squadron.
As a full colonel, he became Wing Commander at Trenton in 2009.
333
« on: February 08, 2010, 08:08:16 PM »
Final Thoughts
I look at your picture
hanging on the wall
Think back to the conversations
We never had
The way you sat there
And stared out the window the
Year before your death
No amount of drinking
Can erase these memories
As I toss down one drink
After another
Past soft liver tissue
Trying to avoid the vacant
Look in your eyes
Pieces of my brain stapled
To the lampshade
334
« on: February 08, 2010, 08:05:05 PM »
#10 - PINK FLOYD THE WALL [1982] #09 - INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS [1956] #08 - PAN'S LABYRINTH [2006] #07 - LA DOLCE VITA [1960] #06 - ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN [1958] #05 - JAWS [1975] #04 - ALIEN [1979] #03 - METROPOLIS [1927] #02 - PULP FICTION [1994] #01 - 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY [1968]
335
« on: February 07, 2010, 09:12:44 PM »
Peace - War Threat - Pretext Tirany - Freedom Dead - Alive
336
« on: February 07, 2010, 08:34:58 PM »
337
« on: February 07, 2010, 07:56:09 PM »
(1)The three little words are: ‘Hold On, Please...’ Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s ‘beep-beep-beep’ tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting. (2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.
This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a ‘real’ sales person to call back and get someone at home.
What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!! (3) Junk Mail Help: When you get ‘ads’ enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these ‘ads’ with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.
When you get those ‘pre-approved’ letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.
Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 41 cents postage ‘IF’ and when they receive them back.
It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was 39 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
338
« on: February 07, 2010, 07:46:07 PM »
A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, TN. One morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, 'I hope he doesn't come over here.' But sure enough, the man did come over to their table.
'Where are you folks from?' he asked in a friendly voice.
' Oklahoma ,' they answered. 'Great to have you here in Tennessee ,' the stranger said. 'What do you do for a living?'
'I teach at a seminary,' he replied.
'Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I've got a really great story for you.' And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple.
The professor groaned and thought to himself, 'Great .. Just what I need... Another preacher story!'
The man started, 'See that mountain over there? (pointing out the restaurant window). Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, 'Hey boy, Who's your daddy?' Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, 'Who's your daddy?' He would hide at recess and lunchtime from other students. He would avoid going into stores because that question hurt him so bad.
When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, 'Who's your daddy?' But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast that he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd.
Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, 'Son, who's your daddy?'
The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, 'Who's your daddy?'
'This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy.. 'Wait a minute! I know who you are! I see the family resemblance now, You are a child of God.'
With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, 'Boy, you've got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.' 'With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again. Whenever anybody asked him, 'Who's your Daddy?' he'd just tell them, 'I'm a Child of God.''
The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, 'Isn't that a great story?' The professor responded that it really was a great story!
As the man turned to leave, he said, 'You know, if that new preacher hadn't told me that I was one of God's children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!' And he walked away.
The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over & asked her, 'Do you know who that man was -- the one who just left that was sitting at our table?'
The waitress grinned and said, 'Of course. Everybody here knows him. That's Ben Hooper. He's governor of Tennessee !'
Someone in your life today needs a reminder that they 're one of God's children!'The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of God stands forever.' ~~Isaiah YOU'RE ONE OF GOD'S CHILDREN!!!
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« on: February 07, 2010, 07:23:20 PM »
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself and doesn’t even feel the least bit weird shutting your ‘Pepsi drawer’ with his/her foot!
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend’s shoulder is soggy from your tears.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they’ve gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
340
« on: February 07, 2010, 07:21:17 AM »
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