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Topics - KuriPataka
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5 6 7 ... 11
21
« on: July 02, 2011, 06:17:18 PM »
The last one is my favourite.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year- old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: ?
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…. I was gettin’ laid!
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitin’ me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh….are you qualified to ask that question?
——————————————————–
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
————————————————————————–
22
« on: June 12, 2011, 06:05:39 PM »
Happy Birthday Bibamunda. May all your hopes and dreams come true. 
23
« on: June 01, 2011, 10:53:20 PM »
Sat shri akal,
Mai ek nava section shuru keeta. Es travel section wich tussi apni trips diya photos pa sakde ja fer koyee vi travel related topics bana sakde ho.
t
Ajj kal PJ te photography da passion bahut chal reha mai socheya sab ek duje diya pics enjoy kar sakde ethe.
24
« on: May 18, 2011, 11:06:40 PM »
OMG, not the Governor! Thoughts? LOS ANGELes – A scandal over Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child switched on Wednesday to the mystery woman at the center of one of Hollywood’s best-kept secrets. As the country’s top comedians lampooned the former California governor and Terminator star, U.S. media hunted down the member of his household staff with whom he admitted fathering a child, while he was married to Maria Shriver. The woman was identified in numerous media reports as Mildred Baena, a 50–year-old separated former housekeeper at the Schwarzenegger household, who has a registered address in the California city of Bakersfield. Some reports said that Schwarzenegger bought the house for her last year. Reporters swarmed to the property on Wednesday but found no-one at home. Schwarzenegger’s spokesman declined comment, citing a request on Tuesday for privacy for all those involved. Celebrity website TMZ.com published a birth certificate which appeared to confirm that the child, a boy, was born in October 1997, making him now 13 years old. If correct, it would mean that Schwarzenegger’s out of wedlock son was born a week after Shriver delivered the couple’s fourth child, Christopher, in September 1997. Shriver, a member of the Kennedy political family and a former TV journalist, made her first public appearance since the scandal broke, appearing at the side of Oprah Winfrey at a farewell show for the TV talk show host in Chicago on Tuesday night. “You’ve given me love, support, wisdom, and most of all, the truth,” Shriver told her old friend Winfrey. Celebrity website Radaronline.com in a joint investigation with the Star magazine claimed that the housekeeper was fired by Schwarzenegger after 20 years service in a bid to save his marriage to Shriver. The woman had earlier told the Los Angeles Times that she decided to retire in January 2011. The power couple announced last week they had separated earlier this year. Comedians are having a field day with the man now dubbed the “Sperminator”. Long-time Schwarzenegger pal Jay Leno joked on “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday that, “He kept this hidden for over a decade, which is pretty shocking. I had no idea he was that good an actor.” Conan O’Brien quipped that “Arnold has made two ‘Juniors’ that he doesn’t want to talk about. Remember that movie from 1994?” Schwarzenegger’s private life is expected, however, to have few repercussions on his bid to return to show business after ending his term as California governor in January. The producers of upcoming movie Cry Macho and animated TV comic book series The Governator told the Hollywood Reporter they were going ahead as planned. In a stroke of irony, The Governator stars Schwarzenegger as a crime-fighting superhero with a lair underneath his home so secret that not even his wife and kids are aware of it.
25
« on: May 18, 2011, 10:54:37 PM »
26
« on: May 17, 2011, 11:36:34 PM »
Here are some pics from my trip in March.
This is Paonta Sahib.
27
« on: May 13, 2011, 03:46:46 PM »
Sooo, it's Friday the 13th, the only this year I think.
Anyone believe in the superstitions?
28
« on: April 19, 2011, 12:31:13 AM »
Happy Birthday GS. Don't eat the dirt between the keys. 
29
« on: March 09, 2011, 06:27:30 PM »
What are your thoughts on this?
------------------------------ US Muslim group offers reward in shooting of two Sikhs  By Arun Kumar | IANS – Mon, Mar 7, 2011 9:38 AM IST Washington, March 7 (IANS) A Muslim civil rights group has announced a $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the person who shot two elderly Sikh men, killing one, in a Northern California suburb. The Sacramento Valley chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) noted the possibility that a hate crime was committed against the victims who were out for a walk in Elk Grove when they were attacked around 4:30 p.m. Friday. Surinder Singh, 65, was killed while his friend, Gurmej Atwal was wounded and remains in critical condition, according to local media reports. Basim Elkarra, the executive director of the local CAIR chapter, said that bearded Sikh men who wear turbans are often mistaken for Muslims by people who commit hate crimes against them. 'The Muslim community offers its condolences and support to the Sikh community in this time of sorrow,' Elkarra said in a press statement Sunday. 'At present, we have no evidence to indicate there was a hate or bias motivation for this crime; however, the obvious Sikh appearance of the men, including the traditional Dastar headwear and lack of any other apparent motive, increasingly raise that possibility,' Elk Grove Police Chief Robert M. Lehner stated. Members of both families are just as baffled as investigators. 'Anybody who would do these things, I don't know why,' Harvinder Singh, son of victim Surinder Singh, told Sacramento Bee newspaper. Surinder Singh was a truck driver who had worked in both India and Libya before moving to the United States about five years ago. He had recently survived his fourth heart attack. Gurmej Atwal moved to the US in 2001, and the family settled in Elk Grove in 2003. (Arun Kumar can be contacted at arun.kumar@ians.in
30
« on: March 05, 2011, 10:05:57 PM »
Je Jhanda Amli kabootar hunda ta edha karda...
31
« on: March 05, 2011, 10:00:26 PM »
Ah dekho KG and Rubbie deciding who's kameez and patiala salwar is more stylish. 
32
« on: February 23, 2011, 11:24:37 PM »
33
« on: February 23, 2011, 09:28:08 PM »
For the longest time I've wondered why the title for a PJ Pari is PJ Pariya. So, seeing as I'm incredibly lazy, I've finally decided to change that. It makes no sense.
From here on after, each PJ Pari shall be known as a PJ Pari not Pariya.
EDIT: Paris shall now be known as PJ mutiyaara.
Thank you.
34
« on: August 16, 2010, 01:45:06 AM »
I want some gol gappe...:( 
35
« on: August 16, 2010, 01:39:23 AM »
Janam Din diya mubaraka Ronak shonak....
Enjoy your day and may all your dreams come true!
Tere varga mitha cake..enjoy!
36
« on: March 26, 2010, 09:05:43 AM »
New World Order (from Wikipedia)
This conspiracy theory states that a small group of international elites controls and manipulates governments, industry and media organizations worldwide. The primary tool they use to dominate nations is the system of central banking. They are said to have funded and in some cases caused most of the major wars of the last 200 years, primarily through carrying out false flag attacks to manipulate populations into supporting them, and they have a grip on the world economy, deliberately causing inflation and depressions at will. Operatives working for the New World Order are said to be placed in high positions in government and industry. The people behind the New World Order are thought to be international bankers, in particular the owners of the private banks in the Federal Reserve System and other central banks, and members of the Council on Foreign Relations, Trilateral Commission and Bilderberg Group. The New World Order is also said to control supranational and global organisations such as the European Union, United Nations, World Bank, International Monetary Fund and the proposed North American Union. The term gained popularity following its use in the early 1990s, first by President George H. W. Bush when he referred to his "dream of a New World Order" in his speech to the United States Congress on September 11, 1990, and second by David Rockefeller in a statement to the United Nations Business Council in September 1994, sometimes cited as evidence that the New World Order had a motive for carrying out the September 11, 2001 attacks:
"We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis and the nations will accept the New World Order."
The concept of this shadow government pre-dates 1990; it is accused of being the same group of people who, among other things, created the Federal Reserve Act (1913), supported the Bolshevik Revolution (1917), and supported the rise of the Nazi Party in Germany, all for their own agenda. The World Bank and national central banks are said to be the tools of the New World Order; war generates massive profits for central banks because government spending (hence borrowing at interest from the central banks) increases dramatically in times of war. Many conspiracy theorists believe that Denver International Airport is the western U.S. headquarters of the New World Order, and a massive underground base and city is believed to exist underneath the airport. Reasons for this include the airport's unusually large size (larger than some major cities), distance from the Denver, Colorado, city center, and the set of bizarre murals depicting burning cities, gas-mask wearing soldiers, girls in coffins, Masonic symbols and strange writing.
[edit] Federal Reserve System
The New World Order is said to control the wealth of nations through central banks, via the issuance of currency. The Federal Reserve System is the central bank of the United States, created in 1913. There is a theory that the Federal Reserve System is designed to transfer wealth from the poor and middle classes of the United States to the international bankers of the New World Order.
37
« on: March 26, 2010, 08:32:13 AM »
38
« on: March 26, 2010, 07:53:25 AM »
These are Michelin's see through tires. I'm not sure if they are available to the general public yet. Pretty awesome. Just imagine… 1. No air valves 2. No pumping air 3. No flat tires Now some bad news for the cops…. stinger spikes won’t work on these special tires.   
39
« on: March 26, 2010, 07:47:29 AM »
Menu vi hamesha edha da ideas aunde kam te...par then I think about the repercussions. I found this a little interesting.
A Robin Hood in real life?
In Germany, a bank employee secretly transferred money from rich to poor clients.
Sadly the 62-year old woman was given a 22-month prison term for this act of kindness. She could have faced a 4-year sentence, but the court was being nice because she confessed immediately and did not profit personally.
Between December 2003 and February 2005, the German ‘Robin Hood Banker’ moved some €7.6 million in 117 transfers.
She did not take any money for herself. Her only motive was to prevent poorer clients from seeing their accounts closed. And get this… the woman is now reimbursing the millions lost by the bank, reportedly from a small retirement pension!
40
« on: March 23, 2010, 06:11:12 PM »
Aao saray ral ke birthday manayee..uchi uchi heka lahke gaiya....HAPPY BUD DAY TO JU! LoL
Happpy Birthday fatty!
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