Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'


Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch..'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say..

Lesson 3

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 5

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him...


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep crap it's best to keep your mouth shut!

I dunno if I posted this before so funny lol.


A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment...
   



After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: 
   
Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a snow shovel..
 
Mrs. Harrington
 

Took these videos at my cousin's wedding in Punjab. Hilli janta dekhlo...

I don't kno ki tussi ess case baray suneya, ess case  uppar movie vi bani haigi. Jassi Sidhu ek Canadian kuri see oss ne India wich kisse rickhshaw/tempu (yaad nahi kehra see) driver naal viah kar leya see apne parents de khillaf. Ohde mummy and uncle ne mil ke ohda katal karva ditta. Munde nu bahut beat keeta gaya but oh bach gaya.

Kuri di mom te uncle India which kinne charges te convict ho chukke ne. Hun Canadian law authorities ohna te case shuru keeta hai India wapis bhejan layee.  Tussi neeche story parh sakde ho.

VANCOUVER • Wearing grey jailhouse sweats and grim expressions on their wrinkled faces, Malkit Kaur Sidhu and Surjit Singh Badesha made brief court appearances Monday, their first since their surprise arrests last week when local authorities announced their intention to see the pair extradited to India, where they are accused of playing a long-distance role in a notorious honour killing.

Their alleged victim, Jassi Kaur Sidhu, was a 25-year-old newlywed. She was Ms. Sidhu’s daughter, and Mr. Badesha’s niece.

After a secret romance that crossed geographical and cultural divides, she had married a poor rickshaw driver. According to media accounts published in Canada and India, their marriage was an act of profound love and defiance that infuriated some of the bride’s family members. In June 2000, she was attacked and her throat slashed in Punjab province. Her corpse was thrown into a ditch.

The murder reverberated for years in both countries.

To date, seven individuals have been convicted in India on various charges related to the slaying, including murder, attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder, the RCMP said Friday.

Ms. Sidhu, 63, and Mr. Badesha, 67, both of Maple Ridge, a Vancouver suburb, were taken into custody after B.C. Supreme Court issued warrants Thursday for their arrest under Canada’s Extradition Act.


They are now subject to an extradition heRelated
B.C. ‘honour killing’ case will put Canada’s extradition laws to the test
According to Vancouver’s Province newspaper, which has led coverage of the murder and its aftermath, the pair’s “alleged involvement … was the worst-kept secret since Jassi married Mithu Singh Sidhu on March 15, 1999, and faced harassment, threats and pressure to divorce.”


Courtesy CBC
Malkit Kaur Sidhu and Surjit Singh Badesha
Mithu Singh Sidhu was badly beaten in the attack that took his wife’s life, but he survived.

Indian authorities, including the Indian Police Service and the Punjab Police Service, “uncovered evidence indicating Jassi Sidhu’s family were involved in the homicide from Canada,” the RCMP said in a news release.

The two accused were represented in court by defence counsel Michael Klein, who asked that their first appearance be held over to Wednesday, when a bail hearing will be scheduled.

Crown counsel Deborah Strachan took no issue and the judge agreed to the request.

The pair will remain in custody.

As they were being escorted from the courtroom, Ms. Sidhu stopped and moved toward the spectators’ gallery. She attempted to embrace a small child, held out to her by a woman, apparently a relative. A courthouse sheriff intervened and said such contact is not permitted.

The pair were then led to a secure holding area and transported back to a suburban detention facility.aring, expected to be a lengthy and complicated process. They are both Canadian citizens wanted in India, where they are charged with conspiracy to commit murder, B.C. Supreme Court Justice Gregory Fitch heard Monday afternoon.

Sat Sri Akal,


Jidda ke tuhanu pata jado vi PJ te competition hundi hai assi winner de inaam te donation karde haan.

Esse hee tara PJ Singing Competition de jetu ☬☬Village_Boy☬☬ ne apna inaam, 50 dollar, Pingalwara sanstha nu daan kar ditta hai.
Saari PJ Team wallo Village Boy da dhanwaad.


Pingalwara at Wikipedia

Here is some information on The Pingalwara Society.

Pingalwara is a house for destitutes in Amritsar in northern Indian state of Punjab. Pingalwara was founded informally in year 1924 by a then 19 year old Ramji Das who later became famous as Bhagat Puran Singh. Currently Pingalwara has facilities for 1080 patients who are fed, housed and looked after thanks to generous support of various philanthropists. The unclaimed bodies of the deceased are donated to Government Medical College, Amritsar for research and teaching purposes.

The main branch houses the Administrative Complex, A Female ward, Children's ward, Rehabilitation Centre, Printing Press, Dispensary, Medical Lab, Dental Centre and the Common Kitchen. Pingalwara also operates a free drug dispensary, a blood bank, a shelter for intellectually disabled children and a free primary school in a slum area in Amritsar city. Poor and abandoned children raised by Pingalwara are helped re-establish themselves in society at completion of their school education. An ambulance and a basic operation room is available for trauma care of accident victims.

Pingalwara has branches in Jalandhar, Sangrur, Chandigarh, Goindwal and Manawala (Amritsar district).
Its Manawala branch was having an area of 25 acres (100,000 m2)comprises a Senior secondary school, SOS homes, wards for mentally ill patients as well as for old aged and a Physotheripic centre.

Pingalwara in the year 2006 bought 35 acres (140,000 m2) of land near Jandiala, 20 km from Amritsar. There is an organic farm. Fresh fruits and vegetables are grown without using pesticides.

I dunno tussi ah show kaday dekhya k nahi. It was a really popular tv series in the UK. I see a lot of it on youtube.

Santa Is Indian!

SSA,

Pawan Jatt is being promoted to chat mod.  Pawan is another one of our respected users on PJ. Always polite and helpful.

Pawan is currently a member of our Music team providing much needed assistance cleaning up the downloads section.

I hope Pawan tussi apni navi responsibility vadiya nibaunge. Thanks for helping us out.

SSA,

Jive ki tuhanu pata Ankhi Punjaban bahut der tau PJ de loyal user ne, esse karke ehna nu Chat Mod di position ditti jandi.

Ankhi has been helping us by always being a avid user of PJ Forums and chat.

Assi hope karde Ankhi will continue to shine in her new role and continue to make PJ an awesome place to hang out as it has always been.

I'm sure she will use her new position in a respectable manner.

Besides the usual, shoes/clothes/purses...

I have a few silly things that make me happy. One of those things is David's Tea.

Comes in so many different unusual flavours...current favourite is La La Lemon.

Kisse ne try keeti ah?

Usually I deal with complaints, but here's my official first complaint.

User RG bothers me. Bina matlab tau mere tay bakwas topic banaunda mere te offensive comments karda. I don't need to list them here as I know you have all seen them.

I would appreciate if the owner of this site could provide me a solution.

Thnx