Author Topic: Love across religion, what would you have done? (Read 11390 times)

LondonPunjabi · « **on:** June 14, 2010, 02:24:21 PM »

At the tender age of 25, as far as my parents were concerned, the unthinkable happened. However, for me there was never anything “unthinkable” about it. Indeed, I had fallen in love. You might think what’s so bad about that? I would agree with you, there is nothing bad about it at all.

I had fallen in love with the most beautiful and perfect girl, she was a vision sent from heaven. When I first set eyes on her I knew that I was hooked, I knew if I was to speak to her or make an approach I would be talking complete gibberish, which is a language spoken by all who are in love, well, to begin with at least; you know the way you do when your heart overrules your head. Like when you for no good reason, other than a reason only known to God himself, put yourself under pressure.

Well, I didn’t have the courage to speak to her at that moment in time but I tell you this I lost sleep for days. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Eventually, to cut a long story short, I plucked up enough courage and decided that I just had to make contact. So that is what I did. My legs were turning to jelly as I walked across the client’s office where she was working as a legal secretary, my eyes must have spoke volumes because she could read me like a badly written book, but hey I am glad she did. She smiled. I knew it was going to be fine.

We dated for some time, nearly two years and we even thought of a wedding. But who were we kidding; I a Sikh, she a Muslim. Her family were from Lahore and mine from near Jallandhar. She had not had the courage to tell her family and, to be honest, neither had I. I knew what my mother would say; she would not have entertained the idea at all. But I was absolutely surprised that my father, a hard ex military man, actually said “jeh tehnu theek lagda phir dekhla” I was shocked.

What I was more shocked by was that her parents threatened to disown her; they threatened her with completely cutting her off from her family. It came to me at that point that both of us were simply not strong enough to carry the relationship through to the marriage stage.

With a broken heart each we stepped away from one another. I still remember the day she got onto the train at London’s Kings Cross train station and rode away out of my life. Sure it hurt, it hurt a lot. After nearly 3 years sometimes it still does. But at the end of the day when the sun sets you know that tomorrow is another day and life has to go on. The sun does rise again. I am now 29 and I guess ready to have my faith restored. I’ve met so many nice girls and had a lot of fun since but never the right one. But I also believe that each day is nearer to the right day.

She is now married to a Muslim guy who came over from Pakistan; I think he is a cousin of hers. I still sometimes speak to her when she rings me; I have never rang her as I feel that she should now get on with her life. I am just a secret friend now, just someone she can talk to when she needs to; someone she can pour her heart out to. She knows that one day I will find someone new but until then I will walk green pastures by and by. Interestingly enough, I have never been interested in having an affair with her. I could easily have done so. The truth is I could never have been able to share her with another man. I’d rather give her up altogether.

But, I ask you; what would you have done?

Punjabi Janta Forums - Janta Di Pasand · « **on:** June 14, 2010, 02:24:21 PM »

*rAbh RaKHA* · « **Reply #1 on:** June 14, 2010, 03:52:11 PM »

ummmm hard question to asn..
buh.. bein a friend with her n let her know that u r alwayz around is very hard to do coz ya know she can never be urz.. buh u r being there for her.. ohde laye hatts off to ya... n if i was u i probally would've done the same thing...

hmm rhista ohdo hi safal hunda jado ghardeya da pyar naal hove... n shayed os kuri ne sahi kita.. jo ohna ne apne ghardeya di gal man ke veyah karwa leya.. u guys sacrificed ur luv for the sake of family..n
luv's second name is "sacrifice" .... so u guys should be proud of urselfffff for taking that step

n punjabi ji..she has started her new lyf... n u should too..coz lyf never stops even thou we dun alwayz get wah we want in our life... wish ya gud luck for everything.. god bless ya guys

LondonPunjabi · « **Reply #2 on:** June 14, 2010, 06:03:25 PM »

Ji tusi bilkul theek kehnde ho. Riste vare mein thuaadi gal manda ha. Bhar phir vi mere khyaal vich asi koi ghalati ta nahi keeti si, sirf pyaar hi keeta si. Chalo, ehe ous Waheguru de rang a, ta sare manane pehnde a.

I agree with what you have written. It indeed is life. You win some and you lose some but hearts take time to mend.

*rAbh RaKHA* · « **Reply #3 on:** June 14, 2010, 06:08:19 PM »

Quote from: LondonPunjabi on June 14, 2010, 06:03:25 PM

Ji tusi bilkul theek kehnde ho. Riste vare mein thuaadi gal manda ha. Bhar phir vi mere khyaal vich asi koi ghalati ta nahi keeti si, sirf pyaar hi keeta si. Chalo, ehe ous Waheguru de rang a, ta sare manane pehnde a.

I agree with what you have written. It indeed is life. You win some and you lose some but hearts take time to mend.

je oh gal dunia samazdi hundi tan pyar karn valeya de hathan ch vichore di lakeer hi na hundi ji...or u can say pyar karke koye harrda naaa

Kudrat Kaur · « **Reply #4 on:** June 14, 2010, 08:51:47 PM »

Really ur story has great depth to touch emotional feelings..but in my opinion, everything happens for the best..Wahiguruji Bless both of u..
Regarding ur question, i wud say i cant answer becoz i have never experienced something like this and will never experience as i have been brought up in really very strict family enviornment..and dont have this much dare..I am not so brave girl in this regard..
but really excited to read other users responses..btw liked KhandMishri's response..

TheStig · « **Reply #5 on:** June 14, 2010, 08:52:12 PM »

Thanks for telling us your story and I think you are a really nice decision maker. We cannot live happily if the parent's blessing arent with us.
Religion doesn't matter to me at all, but I can't make others think like that.If one sees the love and agree to marry on that I am more than happy to. but if you talk about religions and castes...makes me sick because thats something we made not what God made.

Grenade Singh · « **Reply #6 on:** June 14, 2010, 09:57:34 PM »

Can't believe it's your personal life story. You have a lot of courage to put it into words and biggest of all, share it with us.

In my opinion, you did right.

Dad Di Bibbi Dhee · « **Reply #7 on:** June 15, 2010, 01:47:44 AM »

wow tht was such a sad part if your life thn....itz very sad nd touching...
itz jus very heartbreaking...nd u hve alot of courage to share wit us janta here
i think wat u hve done is the rite thing...jus move on wit life...
sacha pyar ta ik war hunda aa but hey no ones life is perfect
nd whn somethin like this comes by it can tear a person apart...but if ur strong enough thn u jus move on wit life
life is full of turns dnt knw whn wat can happen....jus try to enjoy it as much as possible....

@..Wehla..@ · « **Reply #8 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:57:59 AM »

yar ... tusi jo bhi kitta mere samaj ch sahi kitta.
manya pyar ta ho hi janda es utte kise da bas nahi chalda,
na hi pyar te koi dunyavi bandiah laggo hunde hai .

par viah do dila de naal -2 do parivara da milan hunda.
koi bhi relation ta hi 'pura' hunda jis relation utte sare (u r and yr family members) razi hoon. Ghar diya dukhe kar ke bhi ,banda khus nahi reh sakda na.
After all we all r social animals.
so, be a animal and keep going on.....

LondonPunjabi · « **Reply #9 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:09:42 PM »

Quote from: KUDRAT GREWAL on June 14, 2010, 08:51:47 PM

Really ur story has great depth to touch emotional feelings..but in my opinion, everything happens for the best..Wahiguruji Bless both of u..
Regarding ur question, i wud say i cant answer becoz i have never experienced something like this and will never experience as i have been brought up in really very strict family enviornment..and dont have this much dare..I am not so brave girl in this regard..
but really excited to read other users responses..btw liked KhandMishri's response..

Kudrat Ji
Yes, you are right; Waheguruji has his plans for all of us.

I too have been brought up in a very strict family. I guess for me it was different because I left home to study in two universities quite far from home and then found myself employment some 500 miles away. My job has taken me to very many places around the world and I guess that gave me more freedom in some such way. It was never the dare but more the following of a heart that would not give up.

I liked Khand Mishri’s response too.

Thanks for your kind words.

LondonPunjabi · « **Reply #10 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:11:29 PM »

Quote from: ©o∂€л@M€47 on June 14, 2010, 08:52:12 PM

Thanks for telling us your story and I think you are a really nice decision maker. We cannot live happily if the parent's blessing arent with us.
Religion doesn't matter to me at all, but I can't make others think like that.If one sees the love and agree to marry on that I am more than happy to. but if you talk about religions and castes...makes me sick because thats something we made not what God made.

Codename47

I agree with you brother. But the problem is keeping the families happy.

TheStig · « **Reply #11 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:13:54 PM »

Quote from: LondonPunjabi on June 15, 2010, 07:11:29 PM

Codename47

I agree with you brother. But the problem is keeping the families happy.

I know what you mean . thats life I guess keep moving bro . Once gone is gone forever so there is no point looking back. you can never predict whats up next. just keep playing this game the right way.

LondonPunjabi · « **Reply #12 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:15:05 PM »

Quote from: R€śhMï RûM@L W@Rgï on June 15, 2010, 01:47:44 AM

wow tht was such a sad part if your life thn....itz very sad nd touching...
itz jus very heartbreaking...nd u hve alot of courage to share wit us janta here
i think wat u hve done is the rite thing...jus move on wit life...
sacha pyar ta ik war hunda aa but hey no ones life is perfect
nd whn somethin like this comes by it can tear a person apart...but if ur strong enough thn u jus move on wit life
life is full of turns dnt knw whn wat can happen....jus try to enjoy it as much as possible....

Reshmi Rumal Wargi Ji

Again thanks for your kind words too. I am over it, I have no regrets and I am happier, wiser and stronger for the experience.

LondonPunjabi · « **Reply #13 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:31:23 PM »

Quote from: ©o∂€л@M€47 on June 15, 2010, 07:13:54 PM

I know what you mean . thats life I guess keep moving bro . Once gone is gone forever so there is no point looking back. you can never predict whats up next. just keep playing this game the right way.

Yup, you are right brother.

LondonPunjabi · « **Reply #14 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:42:27 PM »

Quote from: Grenade Singh on June 14, 2010, 09:57:34 PM

Can't believe it's your personal life story. You have a lot of courage to put it into words and biggest of all, share it with us.

In my opinion, you did right.

It is my friend it is, courage? If my experience can help others then that is something good.

LondonPunjabi · « **Reply #15 on:** June 15, 2010, 07:54:43 PM »

Quote from: ღкђคภ๔ ๓เรђгเღ on June 14, 2010, 06:08:19 PM

je oh gal dunia samazdi hundi tan pyar karn valeya de hathan ch vichore di lakeer hi na hundi ji...or u can say pyar karke koye harrda naaa

KhandMishri Ji, Bilkul. Bhar ohna dinna vich mera dil essa si jis taran ah gana hai.

Mughal e Azam da;

Jab Pyaar Kiyaa Toh Darna Kyaa

Insaan kisee se duniyaan mein
Yeh ik baar mohabbat karataa hai
Is dard ko lekar jiitaa hai
Is dard ko lekar marataa hai

Pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Pyaar kiyaa koi chori nahin ki
Pyaar kiyaa
Pyaar kiyaa koi chori nahin ki
Chhuup chhuup aankhe bharnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa

Aaj kahenge dil kaa fasaanaa
Jaan bhee le le chaahe zamaanaa
Aaj kahenge dil kaa fasaanaa
Jaan bhee le le chaahe zamaanaa
Maut wahii jo duniyaan dekhe
Maut wahii jo duniyaan dekhe
Ghunt ghunt kar yu marnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa

Unki tamannaa dil mein rahegii
Shammaa ise mahafil mein rahegii
Unki tamannaa dil mein rahegi
Shammaa ise mahafil mein rahegi
Ishq mein jiinaa ishq mein marnaa
Ishq mein jiinaa ishq mein marnaa
Aaur humei ab karnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa

Chhuup naa sakegaa ishq hamaaraa
Chaaro taraf hain unkaa nazaaraa
Chhuup naa sakegaa ishq hamaaraa
Chaaro taraf hain unkaa nazaaraa

Pardaa nahin jab koi khudaa se
Pardaa nahin jab koi khudaa se
Bando se pardaa karnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa

Pyaar kiyaa to darnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa
Pyaar kiyaa koi chori nahin ki
Chhuup chhuup aahe bharnaa kyaa
Jab pyaar kiyaa toh darnaa kyaa

*rAbh RaKHA* · « **Reply #16 on:** June 21, 2010, 05:22:33 PM »

hanji ji nice song.. buh this is wah lyf is i guesss...

kadie pullo na os vele nu jadh bapu ne hath fadke chalna sikayea ji
pullo ohnu kadie na jehnu dilo vahd ke chaheya ji
agge vadh-de rahi roop tey banavo apni manzil.. ehi mapeya ne sikayeya ji
karna tyag kisse cheez da hunda bahut ayokha par karke tyag zindgi nu assin handayea ji
mapeya de kahe bolan nu assin deke kurbani pyar di nibayeya ji

prabhleen · « **Reply #17 on:** July 15, 2010, 07:25:29 AM »

filhaal m not in lov so jyada nai pta but i can die for my pure nd honest lov.

*rAbh RaKHA* · « **Reply #18 on:** July 23, 2010, 05:16:56 PM »

^^ nice prableen ji.. i would do the same thin

jeet_singh · « **Reply #19 on:** July 24, 2010, 11:57:50 PM »

haanji pyar ye religion ya hor kuj dekhke hove oh pyar nhi oh te soch samjke bnaya gya rishta hai,oh dimag da rishta hai dil da nhi, pyar te bs dil miln naal ho janda e oh nhi dekhda ke samne wala kis religion da hai, rich hai ke poor hai,look sohni hai ke nhi.bs dil mil gya te ho gya.
baki rhi rishte di gal ,thik e tuhadi gal rishte taa hi changi traah nibde ye sb raaji hon,sb khush hon,
ethe eh v hai ke, ye munde or kudi nu pta hai ke oh apne ghar dea nu nhi mnaa saknge,fer jada aage wdna hi nih chahida,jada supne dikhane nhi chahide duze nu,es naal jdon kafi aage wad ke ek saath chad da hai, taa duze de dil da bhut bura haal hunda hai, es naalon changa hai ke shuru wich hi raste wakh rakhne chahide ne taa jo baad wich jada dard na hove.mai te dekhea pehla pta nhi kine kine promise kr dinde, baad wich saath den lai ek choti jhi koshish v nhi krde, ek waar ghar wich gal v nhi krde, oh bhut galt hunda

Author Topic: Love across religion, what would you have done? (Read 11390 times)

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