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Author Topic: How to break up with girlfriend without hurting her?  (Read 853 times)

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How to break up with girlfriend without hurting her?
« on: June 28, 2012, 02:25:31 AM »

you can't. you're rejecting her and rejection always hurts. the best you can do is minimize the impact by being politely honest and firm.

1. meet her alone in a public place.

2. tell her what the issue is but make it seem that it's about you: you want to date other girls, you aren't ready for a serious relationship, you aren't able to offer her what she wants from a relationship, etc.

whatever you do: DO NOT tell her that you don't deserve her or you aren't good enough for her. For some girls that is just a challenge. You're waving the red cape at the bull, Mr. Toreodor. Keep the focus on what you cannot or are not willing to give in the relationship. Keep the focus on what you need that the relationship will never be able to provide.

Remember: the break up is about you.

3. boost her ego by reminding her what is special about her and what she has to offer someone else.

4. answer any immediate questions that she has honestly and w/o detail. ex: her: "what did I do wrong" or "What can I do to change your mind?" you: "nothing. I'm not ready for a serious relationship at this time and I'd like to date other girls."

5. Do not argue w/ her. if she starts to argue then it's time for you to leave.

6. when you leave, wish her well and go w/o looking back. Do not promise to be her friend. If she's not expecting this break up, if this is not a mutally agreed upon ending then she won't be at a place where she will be able to be your friend. She will only see your offer of friendship as a chance to win you back and you must make a clean break.

this entire scenario should take between 10 and 15 minutes. NO MORE THAN THAT. Any longer and you'll just encourage an ugly, embarrassing scene.

after the break up:
return any of her things that you have, if you did not already give them back to her when you broke up.
lose her contact info. Do not call her, do not check up on her and do not accept any calls from her. If she calls you then politely tell her that you don't have time to speak w/ her and you'd appreciate it if she would not call you for a while. then hang up on her and screen your calls.

as I said earlier: you need to make a clean break. Any contact from you at this stage will be seen by her as a chance for you to get back w/ her.

once she's over you then there is the chance for you to be friends if both of you want it but until then she becomes a distant aquaintence.

yes there will be tears, yes there will be disappointment. there may even be anger. yes, you will uncomfortable for a few minutes and if you're a compassionate, empathetic person, you'll feel bad for her for a while. it comes w/ the territory.

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