Employers' Lingo: What employers list in the application and what you should expect.  Some are funny but somehow true!


"COMPETITIVE SALARY" : We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM" : We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" : We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED" : You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" : Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" : Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" : We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED" : Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON" : If you're old, fat, or ugly or even of certain ethnic group you might be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" : We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" : You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" : You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" : You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" : Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.