Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for
baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a
guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she
thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go
for this carrying on." So, she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work.
Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she
would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small
diner and the aroma of the baked beans was more than she could stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill
effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and
before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All
the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably
sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I
have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her
and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the
blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to
touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure
was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room
she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was
not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front
of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation
in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.

When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air
a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands
upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when
her husband returned.

Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured
him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was
surprised!!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a Happy
Birthday!!