A Texas-size legal battle gets under way this week when former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith goes to court seeking half of her late nonagenarian husband`s billion-dollar estate.

Smith insists she did not marry the 90 year old oil tycoon for his money. But instead, he married her for her big, ripe melons.

The buxom blonde bombshell says she is entitled to his money over his children because QUOTE: "They didn?t have to orally accept an ancient crusty piece of dead wood and pretend to be satisfied for 14 months!"

When confronted with this fact, the adult children responded, QUOTE: "True. True."