Author Topic: Moving out (Read 10554 times)

҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰ · « **on:** May 09, 2011, 06:52:13 AM »

1 thing i've noticed is that indian parenting is very different from kiwi parenting. My bf and his family are tight and his parents seem to really love him and look out for him and his brothers. Would you guys say it's the same with your parents? I've witnessed this on what you hear on the media as well.

Kiwi parenting is very different, our parents don't give a damn about us. You see, my mum just asked me to pack my stuff and move out. She's fed up with me and really just won't take it anymore. I don't even know what i've done! :angry: Maybe just a bit but yeah, i've got nothing to apologise for. She's been telling to move out and i want to but i can't atm. In NZ, we're not expected to look after our family, help out or keep in touch with 'em, but it's a really different scenario for my bf and his relationship with his parents. It amazes me.

Punjabi Janta Forums - Janta Di Pasand · « **on:** May 09, 2011, 06:52:13 AM »

@SeKhOn@ · « **Reply #1 on:** May 09, 2011, 07:45:13 AM »

DATS wht we r known for ......kiwi ,,,,in our culture ..realtions r more thn anything ..we love to care ,,we love to worry about our loved ones ....even if kids dnt care of thier parents ..still d parents r worried abt thm .dey dnt say dat go to hell or other ..parents r second after god for us ...exceptions r always dere but almost 90 % percent of punjabies follow dat culture wherever dey r .....we do sacrifice lot just to bind our family to make altogether forever ..dats wht r taught from childhood frm our parents to respect them because they respect thier own parents nd d love nd affection they give to us ,,u can't find anywhere else ...

well lucky u dat ur gf of punjabi guy ..we do love nd respect of our daughter in laws ..like our own born daughters without any prejudices ....dast why punjabies r best in world .....

Kudrat Kaur · « **Reply #2 on:** May 09, 2011, 07:42:42 PM »

Well, You are 17 years old.. I left my home too when i was 17 years old beocz i started living on campus. Thats different scene that they were paying for everything.. :pagel: .. But, I like one thing about western culture is that kids start understanding their responsibilities at very early age.. so there is nothing wrong about it.. But this thing is very much needed in Punjabi culture..

in ur case...I think, if u r not earning and u cant take care of urself then u should really think twice before taking this step..

KuriPataka · « **Reply #3 on:** May 09, 2011, 07:59:49 PM »

I wish my parents asked me to move out. lol

In Indian culture you never really "grow up."

There are positives and negatives both ways.

I agree with KG though, in your scenario, it's more of are you able to move out and survive? Do you really want to? Lots of things you need to ask yourself...

NYPuNJaBI · « **Reply #4 on:** May 09, 2011, 08:10:14 PM »

If you can handle it then go ahead move out. Yes your have the extra independence but there's a whole lot of more responsibilities. I moved out right after high school when I was 18, but I do think I will return home at some point to be with and take care of my parents. Though I don't live with my parents I still have a close relationship with them and they understand why I moved. Just talking with each sometimes does wonders :/

Steppenwolf · « **Reply #5 on:** May 09, 2011, 08:10:58 PM »

Quote from: »※ḨҰĐṜØŞŦẨ₮ῘḈŜ« on May 09, 2011, 06:52:13 AM

1 thing i've noticed is that indian parenting is very different from kiwi parenting. My bf and his family are tight and his parents seem to really love him and look out for him and his brothers. Would you guys say it's the same with your parents? I've witnessed this on what you hear on the media as well.

Kiwi parenting is very different, our parents don't give a damn about us. You see, my mum just asked me to pack my stuff and move out. She's fed up with me and really just won't take it anymore. I don't even know what i've done! :angry: Maybe just a bit but yeah, i've got nothing to apologise for. She's been telling to move out and i want to but i can't atm. In NZ, we're not expected to look after our family, help out or keep in touch with 'em, but it's a really different scenario for my bf and his relationship with his parents. It amazes me.

Indian people also understand the financial implication of living together. As a unit, its much easier to earn the day to day costs of living. Living on your own, 2 rents, 2 cars, 2 insurances, 2 groceries, etc.. list goes on. As a unit you can share. Very few Indian families are wealthy, they know the value of sticking together. Indian families even stick together even into the extended family. Just that keeping a family close together has so many support benefits as well. (Emotional and financial.)

Our mom and dad's siblings' children are considered out brothers and sisters. This creates a small and efficient network of people that look out for each other. (Most of the time). Sometimes is extends much father than that... but thats pretty much the main group of people.

I honestly don't like the Western way. Its designed to keep people engulfed in the little and meaningless aspects of life. It always makes you worry about your singular goals, which are barely attainable if your on your own and independent. The word independence was created to keep people from coming together. The "West" places too much emphasis on such a stupid word.

There are recent studies... that "White" families are moving toward the family mind set here in North America. Just because of the extreme burdens that are associated with "independence." I will try to find some later on.

Steppenwolf · « **Reply #6 on:** May 10, 2011, 12:46:24 AM »

From an economists point of view... splitting and breaking families into smaller units makes consumption go up. Consumption is pretty much the backbone of the economy. So there may be motives behind how independence is marketed.

Steppenwolf · « **Reply #7 on:** May 10, 2011, 01:06:14 AM »

Did a quick search and...!

This picture suggests that the credit default increase (by country) the longer men, in this case, stay at home. Basically showing that that the economy is dependent on the fact that families need to split and apply for separate mortgages.

Greece is already dead, and the list falls in that order is you look at that graph.

Picture is from the magazine called, The Economist.

_FaTeH_ · « **Reply #8 on:** May 10, 2011, 01:20:51 AM »

hmmmmmm

҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰ · « **Reply #9 on:** May 10, 2011, 05:30:32 AM »

Quote from: ਜਿੱਦੀ_ਸੇਖੋਂ on May 09, 2011, 07:45:13 AM

DATS wht we r known for ......kiwi ,,,,in our culture ..realtions r more thn anything ..we love to care ,,we love to worry about our loved ones ....even if kids dnt care of thier parents ..still d parents r worried abt thm .dey dnt say dat go to hell or other ..parents r second after god for us ...exceptions r always dere but almost 90 % percent of punjabies follow dat culture wherever dey r .....we do sacrifice lot just to bind our family to make altogether forever ..dats wht r taught from childhood frm our parents to respect them because they respect thier own parents nd d love nd affection they give to us ,,u can't find anywhere else ...

well lucky u dat ur gf of punjabi guy ..we do love nd respect of our daughter in laws ..like our own born daughters without any prejudices ....dast why punjabies r best in world .....

Yeah i thought so. And yeah, even my bf said i shouldn't move out just yet and to wait for another year. I told him, this is out my hands, if i'm not allowed in this house then i gotta move out. He's amazing though, he was like "my parents are your parents now".

Quote from: Parsinno Kaur on May 09, 2011, 07:42:42 PM

Well, You are 17 years old.. I left my home too when i was 17 years old beocz i started living on campus. Thats different scene that they were paying for everything.. :pagel: .. But, I like one thing about western culture is that kids start understanding their responsibilities at very early age.. so there is nothing wrong about it.. But this thing is very much needed in Punjabi culture..

in ur case...I think, if u r not earning and u cant take care of urself then u should really think twice before taking this step..

If you move out of your parents, that's it. You no longer rely on them. I can't support myself financially so that's why i don't want to move out yet. But trust me, if i could, i really would.

Quote from: Kuri Pataka on May 09, 2011, 07:59:49 PM

I wish my parents asked me to move out. lol

In Indian culture you never really "grow up."

There are positives and negatives both ways.

I agree with KG though, in your scenario, it's more of are you able to move out and survive? Do you really want to? Lots of things you need to ask yourself...

Why don't you? As long as you can support yourself in every way, then i don't see what's stopping you. And yeah i do want to, except i'm not yet 18 and nor financially secure, so can't.

Quote from: NYPuNJaBI on May 09, 2011, 08:10:14 PM

If you can handle it then go ahead move out. Yes your have the extra independence but there's a whole lot of more responsibilities. I moved out right after high school when I was 18, but I do think I will return home at some point to be with and take care of my parents. Though I don't live with my parents I still have a close relationship with them and they understand why I moved. Just talking with each sometimes does wonders :/

Good on ya.

Quote from: kerfuffle on May 09, 2011, 08:10:58 PM

Indian people also understand the financial implication of living together. As a unit, its much easier to earn the day to day costs of living. Living on your own, 2 rents, 2 cars, 2 insurances, 2 groceries, etc.. list goes on. As a unit you can share. Very few Indian families are wealthy, they know the value of sticking together. Indian families even stick together even into the extended family. Just that keeping a family close together has so many support benefits as well. (Emotional and financial.)

Our mom and dad's siblings' children are considered out brothers and sisters. This creates a small and efficient network of people that look out for each other. (Most of the time). Sometimes is extends much father than that... but thats pretty much the main group of people.

I honestly don't like the Western way. Its designed to keep people engulfed in the little and meaningless aspects of life. It always makes you worry about your singular goals, which are barely attainable if your on your own and independent. The word independence was created to keep people from coming together. The "West" places too much emphasis on such a stupid word.

There are recent studies... that "White" families are moving toward the family mind set here in North America. Just because of the extreme burdens that are associated with "independence." I will try to find some later on.

In a way, i agree with you. And you pretty much listed the reasons why i can't leave home right now. :pagel: Everyone here wants freedom and to be independent.

Quote from: kerfuffle on May 10, 2011, 01:06:14 AM

Did a quick search and...!

This picture suggests that the credit default increase (by country) the longer men, in this case, stay at home. Basically showing that that the economy is dependent on the fact that families need to split and apply for separate mortgages.

Greece is already dead, and the list falls in that order is you look at that graph.

Picture is from the magazine called, The Economist.

Haha interesting.

@SeKhOn@ · « **Reply #10 on:** May 10, 2011, 05:33:13 AM »

dats wht m saying punjabies hve big hearts dey can accept u dnt worry ..nd treat u as dier daughter

Quote from: »※ḨҰĐṜØŞŦẨ₮ῘḈŜ« on May 10, 2011, 05:30:32 AM

Yeah i thought so. And yeah, even my bf said i shouldn't move out just yet and to wait for another year. I told him, this is out my hands, if i'm not allowed in this house then i gotta move out. He's amazing though, he was like "my parents are your parents now".

҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰ · « **Reply #11 on:** May 10, 2011, 06:22:45 AM »

Quote from: ਜਿੱਦੀ_ਸੇਖੋਂ on May 10, 2011, 05:33:13 AM

dats wht m saying punjabies hve big hearts dey can accept u dnt worry ..nd treat u as dier daughter
Quote from: »※ḨҰĐṜØŞŦẨ₮ῘḈŜ« on May 10, 2011, 05:30:32 AM
Yeah i thought so. And yeah, even my bf said i shouldn't move out just yet and to wait for another year. I told him, this is out my hands, if i'm not allowed in this house then i gotta move out. He's amazing though, he was like "my parents are your parents now".
They were pretty cool about us together but at the same time, shocked. :happy:

Nek Singh · « **Reply #12 on:** May 10, 2011, 06:35:49 AM »

ਯੂ ਡੂ ਵਨ ਥਿੰਗ ਕਮ ਟੂ ਇੰਡੀਆ ਹਿਯਰ ਯੂ ਕੈਨ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਇਫ ਹੈਪ੍ਪਿਲੀ :D:

COLD BLOOD@Brar · « **Reply #13 on:** May 11, 2011, 04:41:15 AM »

hahaahahahah
interesting topic one thing i notice in our punjabi culture and we can

say about unity , boys happy with unit family but most of girls just

living with family but not happily

i dont no why ? like kudrat ji and KP and all girls in fever of that

design u need to leave but punjabi boys likes unit .

so its normal overlook girls always reason of family break

reason of brothers fight with brothers

i ask you all girls why ????????????

one thing for u Baby Girl if you ll move with ur BF please dont break

their family try to adjust with them otherwise people ll think same

girls cant make unity

one thing more when we are stuck some where we haven't any plan

our mind unable to make design than we need to leave things for

time coz when we haven't any solution for problem leave it for time ,

time ll solve it don't get stress time is powerful that could be solve

everything ?

҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰ · « **Reply #14 on:** May 12, 2011, 05:35:11 AM »

Quote from: COLD BLOOD@Brar on May 11, 2011, 04:41:15 AM

hahaahahahah
interesting topic one thing i notice in our punjabi culture and we can

say about unity , boys happy with unit family but most of girls just

living with family but not happily

i dont no why ? like kudrat ji and KP and all girls in fever of that

design u need to leave but punjabi boys likes unit .

so its normal overlook girls always reason of family break

reason of brothers fight with brothers

i ask you all girls why ????????????

one thing for u Baby Girl if you ll move with ur BF please dont break

their family try to adjust with them otherwise people ll think same

girls cant make unity

one thing more when we are stuck some where we haven't any plan

our mind unable to make design than we need to leave things for

time coz when we haven't any solution for problem leave it for time ,

time ll solve it don't get stress time is powerful that could be solve

everything ?

Wth!! are you talking about? What does gender have to do with any of these? And as far as i know, it's that most girls are more family oriented. From where i live though, everyone is expected to be independent, you are to leave! and you're expected to look after yourself. That goes for whatever gender you are, so i don't know about india but that's how it is over here. And no, why would i want to break my bf's family up? On the other hand, you can't expect me to change just to please others.

ツ · « **Reply #15 on:** May 12, 2011, 07:11:28 AM »

Quote from: ~ ਨੇਕ ਸਿੰਘ ~ on May 10, 2011, 06:35:49 AM

ਯੂ ਡੂ ਵਨ ਥਿੰਗ ਕਮ ਟੂ ਇੰਡੀਆ ਹਿਯਰ ਯੂ ਕੈਨ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਇਫ ਹੈਪ੍ਪਿਲੀ :D:

eh munda ki likhda rehnda?

Ķιℓℓα Ķαuя · « **Reply #16 on:** May 12, 2011, 09:55:30 AM »

i would say it just depends on the situations ...i think one can be just as responsible and learn to survive in this world as they can on their own or with their family...there are ups/downs to both...it just depends..

in ur case Elle, i wouldn't move out unless i knew i have a place to stay at and a job. and thinking ur going to live with friend or ur bf for few weeks/months till u can get place to ur self n not have the money on hand wouldn't be right just to be on safe side :pagel:

ਕਰਮਵੀਰ ਸਿੰਘ · « **Reply #17 on:** May 12, 2011, 10:38:26 AM »

u should stay in, talk to ur mother , try to solve that prob.
While reading this all an i started thinking abt the actuall meaning of the independance acording to the family point of view.
Nd also 1 thing more that we youngsters hv many problems with our frns. Bt we talk nd solve them nd say sry very easily. Bt if our parents say smthing bitter to us we think them as an enimy nd try to stay away frm them which is mostly called independance.

҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰ · « **Reply #18 on:** May 13, 2011, 05:23:46 AM »

Quote from: Ķιℓℓα Ķαuя on May 12, 2011, 09:55:30 AM

i would say it just depends on the situations ...i think one can be just as responsible and learn to survive in this world as they can on their own or with their family...there are ups/downs to both...it just depends..

in ur case Elle, i wouldn't move out unless i knew i have a place to stay at and a job. and thinking ur going to live with friend or ur bf for few weeks/months till u can get place to ur self n not have the money on hand wouldn't be right just to be on safe side :pagel:

True.

Quote from: §¤§ KARAM §¤§ on May 12, 2011, 10:38:26 AM

u should stay in, talk to ur mother , try to solve that prob.
While reading this all an i started thinking abt the actuall meaning of the independance acording to the family point of view.
Nd also 1 thing more that we youngsters hv many problems with our frns. Bt we talk nd solve them nd say sry very easily. Bt if our parents say smthing bitter to us we think them as an enimy nd try to stay away frm them which is mostly called independance.

A little too late for that.