Author Topic: COST CUTTING IN OFFICE - Hope U R keeping fine... (Read 5734 times)

ÐèṤἷḷ¡ · « **on:** August 12, 2010, 10:22:01 AM »

Do not miss the NEW OFFICE POLICY at the bottom

DUE TO ECONOMIC CRISIS , THIS WILL BE YOUR FUTURE INFRASTRUCTURE SETUPS FOR OFFICE OPERATIONS

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to
your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a
Gucci bag , we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly , you need to learn to manage your
money better , so that you may buy nicer clothes , and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right , you are right where you need
to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor , you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends ,
relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend
the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
necessary , the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work t hr ough your lunch hour and subsequently lea ve one hour early.

Bat hr oom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict t hr ee-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of t hr ee minutes , a n alarm will
sound , the toilet paper roll will retract , the stall
door will open , and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense , your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'C hr onic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch , as they need
to eat more , so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch , because that's
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore ,
all questions , comments , concerns , complaints ,
frustrations , irritations , aggravations , insinuations ,
allegations , accusations , contemplations , consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!

We are expected to perform twice our potential while cutting coststo half......

This is the future performer ???

Height's of cost cutting

Author Topic: COST CUTTING IN OFFICE - Hope U R keeping fine... (Read 5734 times)

ÐèṤἷḷ¡

COST CUTTING IN OFFICE - Hope U R keeping fine...

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