Mata Gujar Kaur Ji (Mata Gujri Ji),



In the home of Khalsa I grow old and by following in the footsteps of Mata Gujar Kaur Ji (Mata Gujri Ji) I become the best grandmother in the world.

Grandmothers around the world are famous for spoiling their grandchildren. But being a good Grandmother is about much more than spoiling the children. Mata Gujar Kaur Ji was with the two youngest sahibzadas when they received martyrdom, which was only possible for them because Mata Ji was their strength. Mata Ji did not spoil them, she strengthened them. That was only possible because Mata Ji lived her Sikhi from her heart, told them stories about their history and the bravery of those who had come before, and because she stayed with the kids and encouraged them to do the right thing.

Every child remembers the nightly fairy tales told by their grandmothers and the little lessons those stories taught. Mata Gujar Kaur Ji told her grandchildren stories too. They were the ones that taught great lessons. The ones Mata Ji told were true and the kids could relate to them. Stories that a child can relate to are the ones that most inspire them to follow through to the example set in the story. In Mata Gujar Kaur Ji's time it was the stories of Gurus and the Singhs of that time. In our time today we still have those stories of the Gurus and the Singhs and Kaurs of that time, and we also have the stories of many more sacrifices that have been made to preserve our dharma including those of 1984 and how Singhs followed the teachings of Guru Sahabian to survive 1984 and never surrender their values. Our children need to know our history and how, in every situation we have always stood up for what is right. Be like Mata Gujar Kaur Ji and tell your grandkids the real stories of the Khalsa Panth, the true Sikhs, and not just made up fairy tales.

Mata Ji told the children all the right stories and taught them all the right valuess but she did not simply leave it at that. Mata Ji stayed with the children and made sure they lived life according to Sikh principles. Mata Ji taught them Sikh principles in her stories and then monitored their understanding and helped them use what they had learned in their everyday life.

Today it seems that not only do our Grandmothers not tell stories about the glorious past of Sikhi but they often seem unable to get involved in the daily life of the children in a meaningful way. There is such a big generation gap between the kids and the grandmothers that they just can't connect. The gap can only be closed if our grandmothers tell the stories from their heart and very early on in the children's life creating a special bond with the child that will last the whole lifetime. A child that hears stories about Sikhi is going to be able to bring inner courage to their own lives better than a child that grew up on only video games and television.

May our grandmothers have the courage and projection to become like Mata Gujar Kaur Ji and become more than just babysitters. They need to be fully present with the children, and not just when the parents are busy, but as a real, active part of their lives.

When we are active in the life of the children, we can stand by their side when danger strikes. Mata Gujar Kaur Ji was always by the side of the younger Sahibzadas and that is why she was able to stay with them when they were separated from rest of the family. She helped them prepare for martyrdom, instead of accepting Islam. Not once carried away by her love for them did she tell them to give up their Sikhi and save their own lives.

Mata Ji became their strength, not their weakness.

As grandmothers today, we are mostly barely involved in our grandchildren's lives and rarely around when it comes time to make important decisions. Many of us have become weak. We would rather see our grandchild happy than have them live as true Sikhs. But actually, children do not really want to be spoiled. A child is born innocent, it can grow up as a very courageous, strong, stalwart person. The thing that interferes with that is attachment. "It's MY beautiful little grandchild," and then you beg for love.  Why spoil a most beautiful, innocent jewel just for the sake of not being alert?

As a grandmother, you can neither be harsh, nor can you be hard, nor can you be over-loving, over-kissing, or over-hugging, if you understand the fundamental of all fundamentals, that child is a gift.  It needs values, it needs virtues, it needs character.  In order to train a child spiritually, you must suffer, you shall suffer, and there's no way to escape it.

Like Mata Gujar Kaur Ji, let us get our priorities straight and train our grandchildren to make the best decisions based on Sikhi.

Following in the footsteps of Mata Gujar Kaur Ji we can show the world that grandmothers are more than just babysitters. We can only do that by being actively involved in the life of our grandchildren by telling them true Sikh stories; by staying active in their lives and encouraging them to make decisions based on the deep values of Sikhi.

If we can become more like Mata Ji, we can be successful in whatever other roles  e.g., great grandmother, great great grandmother, that Waheguru Ji allows us to take on.

Let us consciously have the courage and power to sacrifice that will allow us to live as did Mata Gujar Kaur Ji.