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Topics - The Goru
101
« on: September 08, 2009, 07:11:39 AM »
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.
You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
102
« on: September 08, 2009, 07:08:17 AM »
1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books
103
« on: September 05, 2009, 08:58:32 AM »
marda hoya mirza bol peyaa..........
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hospital le jaao salleyo ki ptaa bach jaava............
104
« on: September 05, 2009, 07:00:26 AM »
AGE - DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
AGE - EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to color my hair
48 Need to have François color my hair
66 Need to have François color my wig
AGE- FAVORITE SPORT
17 Shopping
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping
AGE - DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 Burger King
25 Free meal
35 A diamond
48 A bigger diamond
66 Home Alone
AGE - FAVORITE FANTASY
17 Tall, dark and handsome
25 Tall, dark and handsome with money
35 Tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 A man with hair
66 A man
AGE- WHAT S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66
AGE- IDEAL DATE
17 He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast
105
« on: September 05, 2009, 01:33:24 AM »
It's ALWAYS the kids that suffer!!
His Name is Zonkey!!!!!! !
106
« on: September 05, 2009, 01:12:45 AM »
Baniya on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I'm here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D
Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)
Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale ..
Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.
Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga
Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda
DON'T MIND !!!!!!
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107
« on: September 05, 2009, 01:02:48 AM »
 : :
108
« on: September 05, 2009, 12:56:29 AM »
just check the unblievable story......................
109
« on: September 05, 2009, 12:19:54 AM »
Before & After
Marriage
Before Marriage
He: Yes. At last. It was so
hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even
think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and
over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even
asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She:
Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of
person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She:
Darling!
After
marriage...
Simply read from bottom to top.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
110
« on: September 04, 2009, 11:05:16 PM »
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Its a hard disk in 1956....
The Volume and Size of 5MB memory storage in 1956.
In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with a hard disk drive (HDD). The HDD weighed over a ton and stored 5MB of data.
Let us start appreciating your 4 GB jump drive!
111
« on: September 04, 2009, 10:26:59 PM »
Some facts about our continents
Asia
17,176,102 square miles
approximately 30% of earth's land
Africa
11,687,188 square miles
approximately 20.5% of earth's land
North America
9,357,294 square miles
approximately 16.5% of earth's land
South America
6,880,638 square miles
approximately 12% of earth's land
Antarctica
5,100,023 square miles
approximately 9% of earth's land
Europe
4,065,945 square miles
approximately 7% of earth's land
Australia
3,035,651 square miles
approximately 5% of earth's land
112
« on: September 04, 2009, 10:24:25 PM »
About Women......! !
# Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
# Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
# Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
# Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
# Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
# Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
# Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
# Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
# Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
# Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
# Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.
# Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
113
« on: September 04, 2009, 09:53:17 AM »
:laugh: :laugh: :
114
« on: September 04, 2009, 09:35:03 AM »
How guys select the girl they want to marry
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
(scroll down for the answer)
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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
Men are Men.... Obviously!!! :)
115
« on: September 04, 2009, 09:25:41 AM »
aishwarya in hollywood...howz the looking .......
enda hollywood ch jaana sahi hai ya nahi.....
mainu ta ehthe ae kamli ji lg rahi hai..... :lol: :lol:
116
« on: August 25, 2009, 08:45:51 PM »
jhanda amli selling hat n he feel some pain
he decided to rest under a tree.
monkey took all the hat....
jhanda amli remembrd the story told by his grandfather ..
he took his hat and dropped it on the ground
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1 monkey came and slaped him and said..
saleya tu ki sochda sada dada sanu kahani nahi suna k gyaaa............................. :mean: :hehe:
117
« on: August 24, 2009, 09:51:39 AM »
three tips to play a safe game of life.............
*dont make promises when u r in joy
*dont reply wen u r sad
*dont take decisions wen u r angry..........
keep it up janta............... :plz:
life is urs so live as u like................
118
« on: August 19, 2009, 07:13:52 AM »
ssa janta..........
agar koyi person dukhi hai ta tusi onnu ki khilaana pasand kroge...........
lets start n enjoy this.......
119
« on: August 09, 2009, 06:14:26 AM »
mai jdo reply krda ha ta onde vich emoticon ni aa rahe koyi mainu dsega eh kive aan ge..............
120
« on: August 08, 2009, 04:03:46 AM »
koyi mainu dsega ki email address kitho change kita janda....
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