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Topics - $$ TARN JI $$
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341
« on: October 28, 2010, 12:06:41 AM »
The real truth about GIRLS............. #when she into your eyes, and her eyes get wet,
she truly loves you............. #when a girl acts possessive sometimes,
its bcoz she is afraid of losing you,your love.......... #when a girl cries in front of you, she is hurt,
wipe her tears n say I am here na,
you don't have to worry about anything,
I will handle it............
#when a girl says SHE wants your time, she is not needy,
she has lots of people around her who care for her,
but you are special for her...............
#when a girl says go away leave me alone,
she actually wants you to pull her closer n say a would not ever.............
#when a girl says she loves you, she'll love you forever........
and that to unconditionally.............
Guys always say girls are complex, its hard to understand them..........
but they are very simple,all they want is your love......... [/b]
342
« on: October 24, 2010, 08:11:18 AM »
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly.
“Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks.
“My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”.
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?”
“Yeah. But today is the last day”.
343
« on: October 24, 2010, 08:05:45 AM »
Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What would you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Little Johnny replies, “A teacher.”
344
« on: October 24, 2010, 08:04:13 AM »
Teacher:Students if a=b & b=c ,then we can say that a=c.Give me on more example…
(A boy stands up and says…)
Boy:Mam if i love you and you love your daughter then i love your daughter..!!!!
345
« on: October 24, 2010, 07:58:59 AM »
What is the height of Mixed Emotion?
Your Mother-In-Law Falls from 7th Floor on your brand new Mercedes & you don’t know whether to laugh or cry…
346
« on: October 24, 2010, 07:57:43 AM »
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer
347
« on: October 24, 2010, 07:55:36 AM »
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.
348
« on: October 24, 2010, 07:53:27 AM »
After Engagement
He: yes, i waited so long for this.
She:Do you want me to leave?
He:No don’t even think of it
She: did you Love me?
He:Yes, i did,I’m doing & i’ll do
She:Did u ever cheat me?
He:I’ll die then doing it.
She:Will u kiss me?
He:Surely, that is my pleasure
She:Will u hurt me?
He:No way, I’m not such kind of person
She:Can i trust u?
He:Yes
She:Oh Dear
To know After Wedding
>>read it from bottom to top.
349
« on: October 24, 2010, 07:42:09 AM »
Tussi Hasde ho sanu hasaan vaaste,
tussi rone ho saanu rovaan vaaste,
ek vaar rus ke ta vekho sohneyo,
Marr javange tuhanu manaan vaaste.
350
« on: October 21, 2010, 01:05:23 PM »
“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market,” said the man.”Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,”remarked his friend.”I’m not bitter. Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me.”
351
« on: October 21, 2010, 12:57:46 PM »
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, “It really works!”
352
« on: October 21, 2010, 12:52:33 PM »
God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”
353
« on: October 21, 2010, 12:51:14 PM »
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.
“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”
354
« on: October 21, 2010, 12:49:37 PM »
A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Sweden, and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said: ” Yes, I can put you right.”
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells:
“You idiot, you gave me a woman’s ears.”
“Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man’s or a woman’s.”
“You’re wrong, I hear everything, but I don’t understand a thing!”
355
« on: October 21, 2010, 03:33:05 AM »
An overweight Women consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The women followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.
At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?”
356
« on: October 21, 2010, 03:08:41 AM »
Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That’s terrible! What’s the good news?
Doctor: There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers
357
« on: October 21, 2010, 02:59:55 AM »
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!”
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, “Man, I’m on the wrong bus!”
358
« on: October 21, 2010, 02:59:19 AM »
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home.The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, ”You don’t scare me I am married to your sister!”
359
« on: October 21, 2010, 02:58:39 AM »
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.
They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.
When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping
360
« on: October 21, 2010, 02:57:35 AM »
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
“No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
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