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Messages - ravi_sandhu
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481
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:52:34 AM »
Oh my God!!! What's that big ugly thing on your neck?! Oh, it's just your head.
482
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:49:57 AM »
He's so dumb, he thinks the Kentucky Derby is a hat.
He's never slept with his wife. He says it isn't honorable to sleep with a married woman.
He's so dumb, he thinks the English Channel is a British T.V. station.
He's so dumb, he thinks the St. Louis Cardinals are appointed by the Pope.
He lost his dog, but he won't put an ad in the newspaper. He says it's no use -- his dog can't read.
He still hasn't bought an electric toothbrush. He doesn't know if his teeth are AC or DC.
He jumped off the bus backwards when he heard someone say, "Let's grab his seat when he gets off."
He heard that a man gets hit by an automobile every twenty minutes. He said, "What a glutton for punishment, that guy!"
483
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:33:52 AM »
One day a burglar broke into a geek's house.
The geek, who didn't have too much common sense, ran for it...he started looking for an exit but he couldn't find one.
He stopped and looked around and spotted his computer keyboard and he said to himself, "Maybe this will do it," and hit the escape key.
484
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:29:43 AM »
There's something half-hearted about the way they say, "Oh wow -- Underwear".
They spend Christmas morning making up games involving wrapping paper.
You see them trying to shove everything back up the chimney.
Spelled out in Legos on the front lawn are the words "You're Cheap!!.
Moments after they unwrap gifts, you see them for sale on E-Bay.
Your son simply refuses to understand why you couldn't get him two hours alone with Britney Spears.
They cite your gifts as a major factor in their decision to convert to Islam.
You wake up and find the head of Sponge Bob in your bed.
They ask, "Where'd you buy this stuff -- Crap `R' Us?"
485
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:23:26 AM »
A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talked too much. He proudly told his wife that he'd recently heard that men use 2200 words a day, while women use more than 4400 words a day.
His wife pondered his comments for a moment, and then concluded, "That's because women have to repeat everything they say to their husbands."
The husband looked up and asked, "Come again?"
486
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:06:10 AM »
Kal jab mile the.
To dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehete hain
Your file not found!
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
Woh repeat kar doonga,
Tu na mili to apni zindagi,
Ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga.
487
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:03:52 AM »
Dosti karna hame bhi sikhado
Dosti karna hame bhi sikhado zara,
Us dil ke kone me ham ko bhi bithado zara,
Hum tumhare dil mein hain k nahi,
Zuban se na sahi sms se to batado zara.
488
« on: October 30, 2007, 10:01:07 AM »
Hasrat hai sirf unhe pane ki,
aur koi khwahish nahi is deewane ki,
shikwa mujhe unse nahi khuda se hai,
kya zarurat thi unhe itna haseen banane ki?.
489
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:58:37 AM »
Lamhe ye suhane sath ho na ho,
kal me aaj jaisi koi baat ho na ho,
apka pyar hamesha is dil me rahega,
chahe poori umar mulakat ho na ho.!
490
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:56:04 AM »
Mohabat ki zanjeer se dar lagta hai,
kuch apni taqdeer se dar lagta hai,
jo mujhe tum se juda karti hai,
Haath ki us lakeer se dar lagta hai...
491
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:53:45 AM »
Mohabbat hum bhi kerte hain magar shikwa nahi kerte
hum apni mohabbat ko u ruswa nahi kerte
jo pas aa bethay usy dil se chahte hain
jo uth ker chala jay usy roka nahi kerte.
492
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:51:33 AM »
Mere mehboob kayamat hogi,
aaj ruswa teri galiyon main mohabbat hogi,
meri nazrain to gila karti hai,
tere dil ko bhi tujhse shikayat hogi.
493
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:49:22 AM »
Door reh kar bhi hum unko bhula nahin sakte,
Paas aa kar bhi apni manzil paa nahin sakte,
Ek faasla hum ko bana kar rakhna hai apni mohabbat me,
Kya hai majboori humari ye bhi bata nahin sakte....
494
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:46:56 AM »
Naadan wo hamara imtihan kya legi,
milayegi nazron se nazar to nazar jhuka legi.
use meri kabar pr diya jalane ko mat kehna,
wo naadan hai dosto apna haath jala legi.
495
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:44:48 AM »
Bekhudi ki zindagi hum jiya nahi karte,
Yun kisika ka jaam hum piya nahi karte.
Unse kehdo mohabbat ka izhaar aakar khud karein,
Yun kisika peecha hum nahin kartein.
496
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:42:31 AM »
Pal pal tarse uss pal ke liye,
Pal aaya bhi to kuch pal ke liye,
Socha tha usse zindagi ka ek hasin pal bana lenge,
Par woh pal ruka bhi to kuch pal ke liye.
497
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:40:18 AM »
Mere haathon se gir gayi lakeeren kahin,
Bhool aaye hum apni takdeeren kahin,
Agar mile tumko kahin to utha lena,
Mere hisse ki har khushi apne haathon pe saja lena.
498
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:37:32 AM »
Wo chand hai magar aap se pyara to nahi.
Parvane ka shama ke bin guzara to nahi.
Mere dil ne suni hai ek mithi se awaz,
Kya apne mujhe pukara toh nahi.
499
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:34:50 AM »
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "love him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
500
« on: October 30, 2007, 09:32:14 AM »
There are Three men walking in the middle of the desert there is a canadian and american and a japanese and they come across an indian tribe and the tribe leader say to them you must go find a type of fruit and then pass a test so u can join out tribe.
so they all go get a fruit.
The canadian guy brings back strawberries and the tribe leader tells him now it is time for the test you must put all those strawberries you picked and shove them in ur ass! so the canadian guy do what he says and when he was on his last strawberry he dies.
Then the american guy came back with five apples and so the tribe leader tells him he now has to do the test. so the tribe leader tells him to shove the apples up his ass so he does and when he is on his last one he looks back and sees the japanesse guy and starts laughing then shoves the last apple in his ass then dies.
The american and the canadian guy meet in heaven and the canadian guy ask the american guy why did u start laughing when u were on ur last apple and he said to the canadian guy cuz the japanesse guy hap pineapples.
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