Tumhein dil main basaye rakhta hoon,
Aur duniya ko bhulaye rakhta hoon,

Tumhain hamari nazar na lage,
Is liye apni nazar jhukaye rakhta hoon.

Meri chahaten tumse alag kab hain,
Dil ki batain tumse chupi kab hain,

Tum saath raho dil main dharkan ki jaga,
Phir zindagi ko sanson ki zarurat kab hai.

Mohabbat Ka Imtihaan Aasan Nahi,
Pyaar Sirf Paaney ka Naam Nahi,

Muddatein Beeth Jaati Hai Kissi Ke Intezaar Mein,
Yeh Sirf Pal Do Pal ka Kaam Nahin.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.

Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.

I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside.

I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.

When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.

I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.

Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.

I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is till ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.

The phone is still ringing with no let up, I finally got back to answer it."

The pharmacist continues, "It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!!!"

It was this little girl's first day of school, and the teacher asked her what her name was.

She replied, "Happy Butt."

The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."

So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"

And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."

The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all.

After getting off the phone, he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."

The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?"

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard.

As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through.

This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things.

She was getting nervous, and decided to pay very close attention.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through it.

She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"

Mildred turned to her and said,
"Oh my goodness! Am I driving?"

Two women go out one Friday night without their husbands.

As they head back home, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee.

They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway.

The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them.

The second, not finding anything either, thought, "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other:

"We have to be on the look-out, it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties."

The other one responded: "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read: "We will never forget you".

Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it ever since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.

Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it is even better. In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started to become a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Signed,

A Relieved Menopausal Wife

I finally found a woman like my mom. This woman:

Acts like her! Looks like her! Smells like her!

So i took her home my father doesn't like her!?!!