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Messages - ravi_sandhu
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361
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:28:53 AM »
The Russians are proposing to construct a tunnel under the 25 mile-wide Bering Strait that separates Russia from Alaska. This is of course insanity, as it will only benefit one country, Russia, in the following ways:
1/ U.S. & Western monetary aid will be trucked in semis directly into Moscow, instead of the more costly, indirect flights.
2/ It will only cost $100 billion to build the tunnel -$600 billion less than the west has already poured into corrupt Kremlin official`s bank accounts.
3/ The Russian Mafia will finally have a steady supply of cement with which to dispose of their victim`s bodies.
4/ Russian hookers will be able to hitch-hike to New York.
5/ Lada automobiles will be driven to the U.S.A., where their engines will be removed and sold as sewing machines.
The only benefit to the North American economy?
1/ Boris Yeltsin will finally be able to go drinking in U.S. bars.
362
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:22:41 AM »
Seattle : Puffing on a cigarette is a bit like inhaling from the back end of a cow, or being poisoned like a rat, according to a new ad campaign sponsored by Washington state health removed.
Douglas aknowledged being a member of the players that had used the caddy, but denied being the person who struck the ball. He allegedly hit the golf ball before Parker had reached a safe distance on the green, and did not yell "Fore" when he hit the ball.
363
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:20:44 AM »
The first ever Internet broadcast of a penile-pump-implant surgery failed miserably when very few people showed up to watch. Is anyone surprised?
Healthology.com thought they had a really good idea when they decided to broadcast the procedure on the web. Healthology.com then convinced American Medical Systems, Inc., makers of the hydraulic penis device, to kick in some big cash to finance the broadcast.
It was hoped that the spectacle of a 50-year-old man having his genitals operated on would draw hoards of curious onlookers. But it didn`t happen.
Reports are that the broadcast attracted only 70,000 viewers. That might sound like a big group, but it pales in comparison to other online surgeries, such as Healthology`s breast augmentation broadcast. That procedure drew over a million voyeurs. You can guess why?
364
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:18:41 AM »
A Texas-size legal battle gets under way this week when former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith goes to court seeking half of her late nonagenarian husband`s billion-dollar estate.
Smith insists she did not marry the 90 year old oil tycoon for his money. But instead, he married her for her big, ripe melons.
The buxom blonde bombshell says she is entitled to his money over his children because QUOTE: "They didn?t have to orally accept an ancient crusty piece of dead wood and pretend to be satisfied for 14 months!"
When confronted with this fact, the adult children responded, QUOTE: "True. True."
365
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:14:19 AM »
Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party`s political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a sense of security while screwing others.
366
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:12:14 AM »
Singapore :
A national University of Singapore student who hid in women?s toilet and used a digital video camera to film a female in the next cubicle was jailed for 3 weeks, it was reported. Koh Chit Joo, 24, pleaded guilty to trespassing and insulting the modesty of the 21 year old woman by intruding on her privacy, The straits Times said.
Kho hid in the cubicle at the university?s engineering department on Nov 5, 1999, put the camera under a partition and filmed the student relieving herself.
On spotting the camera, the woman hurriedly left the toilet and waited outside, when Koh was caught with the help of passers-by. Lawyers of Koh said that the stress due to exams has affected his ?good sense and self-control?.
367
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:06:46 AM »
According to Salt Lake City police, a 27 year old woman called 911 because her husband refused to have sex with her.
By the time the police arrived, the nearly nude woman had begun beating her husband, who offered as his reason for lack of desire an exciting Utah Jazz basketball game on TV.
368
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:04:27 AM »
Ms. Cathomas Starbird, a member of the Sausalito, Calif., school board, was sentenced to 15 days in jail for assaulting a female friend who had joined Ms. Starbird and her husband to celebrate his birthday. At the couple`s houseboat after dinner, Ms. Starbird became furious at her friend, jumped on her, and bit her on the face for refusing to perform oral sex on the husband.
369
« on: November 01, 2007, 09:02:05 AM »
MADRID - At Vistahermosa which means "beautiful view," visitors weren`t looking out over the ocean. About 50 people were peering into a parked car to watch a naked couple in the back seat having sex.
Two officers waded through the crowd and asked the 42-year-old man and an 18-year-old woman to knock it off. The lovers covered themselves and got out of the car and allegedly hurled verbal abuse and fists at the officers.
Reinforcements showed up, and the lovers were taken away in handcuffs.
370
« on: November 01, 2007, 08:59:39 AM »
A camera shop owner in Royal Oak, Mich. called police after a roll of film, containing what he believed to be child pornography, was developed. The 45 or so photos pictured what appeared to be a child posing with several naked women.
The investigation ended when a 23-year-old dwarf walked into police headquarters and proved he was no child. The photos were to be used in promotions for a record company.
371
« on: November 01, 2007, 08:57:12 AM »
President Clinton went to a school to talk about disasters, he went into a
third grade class, and asked the kids what a disaster would be, several
hands went up, he called on a young boy. "I think a disaster would be if
my mommy and daddy were killed in a train wreck." the little boy said.
"No, that would be an accident." President Clinton told him. he called on
another boy to answer, and the boy said "I know what a disaster would be,
if our school bus tipped over, and we all died, that would be a disaster."
"No" Mr. Clinton said, "That would be a great tragedy."
No one's hand went up for a while, then a very small girl slowly raised
her hand, "I think it would be a disaster if you and Mrs. Clinton were in
a plane crash, and were killed." "That's right, how did you know?" Clinton
asked. "Well," she said, "I knew it wouldn't be an accident, and it
wouldn't be a great tragedy."
372
« on: November 01, 2007, 03:11:49 AM »
Evolution of man :-
1. shade ke phle :- Hero no 1
2. shade ke baad :- Coolie no 1
3. shade ke phle :- ‘Maine pyar kiya’
4. shade ke baad :- Ye maine kya kiya
5. shade ke phle :- Jaaneman maat jao
6. shade ke baad :- Jaan mat khao
7. shade ke phle :- Tum bin raha na jae
8. shade ke baad :- Tum ko saha na jae
9. shade ke phle :- Kuch to bolo
10. shade ke baad :- Ab chup ho jao
11. shade ke phle :- I LOVE YOU
12. shade ke baad :- Aaj fir aalu ?
13. shade ke phle :- milne kab aaogi
14. shade ke baad :- mayke kab jaogi
373
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:26:41 AM »
Tere pyar ki rooshani aesi hai k
her taraf ujala nazar ata hai
sochta hoon k bijli katva dooon
kambakhat bill bohat zayada ata hai
374
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:24:19 AM »
Wafa itni karo kay bewafai na rahe
pyar itna karo k nafrat na rahe
dosti itni karo k dushmani na rahe
aur sms itne karo k balance na rahe.
375
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:21:11 AM »
Jab se tumhein jana hai,
Jab se tumhein paaya hai,
Har dua mein tera naam aaya hai,
Taaki poochhu rab se ki,
Yeh kaisa namoona banaya hai.
376
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:18:34 AM »
Woh gori hai uski zulfe hain kali,
Wo Pari hai ya Pariyo ki Rani,
Uski har baat hai nirali,
Par kya karu yaaro wo larki kisi aur ne pata li!
377
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:15:59 AM »
Aaina dekh kar begana hogaya,
Khud apney husn k dewana hogaya,
MUQABL-e-HUSN mei hisa lia aap ny bhi,
Auron ko to cup mila per apko jurmana ho gaya.
378
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:12:44 AM »
Sitaron se agey jahan aur bhi hein,
Abhi mohabbat k imthan aur bhi hein,
Tum hi nehi jalatey mere dil ko,
College mein ladkiyan aur bhi hein.
379
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:09:14 AM »
Muje JALA dena, ya DAFNA dena
marte waqt 1 ghoot BEAR pila dena ........
Main TAJMAHAL nahi mangta yaro ...........
bas meri QABAR pe 1 GIRLs hostel bana dena...
380
« on: November 01, 2007, 01:05:35 AM »
Ap ki aik muskurahat ne hamare hosh ura diye,
Ap ki aik muskurahat ne hamare hosh ura diye,
Hum hosh me ane hi wale thay...
K ap phir se muskura diye
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