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Messages - ravi_sandhu

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281
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 09:43:25 AM »
Hasna Ohna di Aadat C
Aasi galat Andaja la Bethe
Oh hasde hasde vasde rehe
Te aasi apna aap gua Bethe.


282
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 09:37:45 AM »
Akhiyan wich aa ke ruk jande ne hanju,
Palka te aa ke ruk jande ne hanju,
Bada Dil karde baha deva enna nu,
par tenu hasdeya vekh ke suk jande ne hanju!!


283
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 09:35:13 AM »
Assa vaang musafir tur jaana,
teri mehfil sada abaad rahe,
kade do-chaar hanju dol lavi,
jekar tenu saadi yaad rahe!


284
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 09:32:56 AM »
Jo assar hai akh di maar ander
oh na teer te na talwaar andar
ohna Rab nu labh ke ki lena
Jinna paa leya Rab nu yaar ander!!!


285
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 09:30:45 AM »
Sohne sohne nain-naksh usde
vekhan waale bada pasand karde
sade naal kare oh pyar hass ke
eho jiha Rabba koi parband kar de
sanu vi sohna bana Rabba
nahi taan sohne banaane band kar de!!


286
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 09:28:45 AM »
Ishq ishq ta har koi karde,
par koi Channa( A River) wich koodan nu tyaar nahi,
ki kahiye ajj-kal de jhuthe aashiqa nu,
Dil de sakde ne par jaan nahi!!!


287
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 09:26:18 AM »
Rabba dukh na devin yaar mere nu, saanu chahe dukhan da pahaar de de,
Phire nawe HERO JET cycle utte yaar mera, saanu bhaven purani Mercedes car de de.


288
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:57:10 AM »
Bikhre aashkon ke moti bana na sake,
Teri yaad mein sari raat so na sake,

Bheeg na jaye aasoo mein tasvir teri,
Bas yehi soch kar hum ro na sake.


289
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:53:36 AM »
Mohabbat hum bhi kerte hain magar shikwa nahi kerte
hum apni mohabbat ko u ruswa nahi kerte
jo pas aa bethay usy dil se chahte hain
jo uth ker chala jay usy roka nahi kerte.


290
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:50:39 AM »
Bekhudi ki zindagi hum jiya nahi karte,
Yun kisika ka jaam hum piya nahi karte.

Unse kehdo mohabbat ka izhaar aakar khud karein,
Yun kisika peecha hum nahin kartein.


291
Shayari / Re: Shayiri posted by Ravi_Sandhu
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:47:15 AM »
Ise dil ko kise ke ass rahti ha
Nigha ko kise sorate ki payass rahte ha

Tare bin kise cheez kie kami to Nahi
Mager tare Bin tabiyat uddas rahti has.


292
Jokes Majaak / Lawyer in the park
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:43:00 AM »
A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is
total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and
blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?"

"Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer."

"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about
the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"

"Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

293
Jokes Majaak / GOLFERS
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:39:24 AM »
two businessmen are standing on the tee at an exclusive golf
club.

suddenly the first guy starts holding his ear and listening
intently...noticing the look of confusion on his partners face,
he explains that he has had his mobile phone receiver implanted
into his ear so that he can pick up urgent messages from the
office at any time day or night.

at the second hole he starts to talk loudly to nobody in
particular...once again he explains that using the latest
state-of-the-art technology he has had one of his teeth
microchipped allowing him to speak to clients without the
inconvenience of holding a phone to his ear.

suddenly on the third hole he screws up his face,clutches his
stomach, darts behind a bush , drops his trousers, and squats.

his partner cannot believe what he is seeing, and shouts "What
the hell are you doing?"

to which he replies

" be with you in a minute....urgent fax!!!"


294
Jokes Majaak / 3 times 4
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:36:16 AM »
A little girl takes the elevator on her way to school. The girl hasn't
finished her homework, as she is stuck with one of the questions. Next to
her in the elevator there is a housewife, an accoutant, and a lawyer.

"Excuse me", she says, speaking to no one in particular. "Could anyone
please tell me how much is 3 times 4?"

"Why, twelve of course, little girl", answers the housewife, somewhat
detachedly. She steps out at the next elevator stop muttering something
about laundry and cooking.

The girl seems no to be happy with the answer, so she looks at the
accoutant expectantly. He sighs, and tries to do some mental calculations.
"I'm not sure", he finally offers, "might be 11.99 or 12.50. I need to run
these numbers on my spreadsheet to make sure."

Of course she is not happy with this answer either, so she turns to look
at the lawyer. The lawyer smiles confidently at her, discretly signaling
her to wait. When the accoutant finally steps out of the elevator, the
lawyer kneels down to her and whispers, "how much do you want it to be?"


295
Jokes Majaak / Titanic
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:33:54 AM »
One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to
Heaven. St. Peter's there and was having a bad day since heaven was
getting crowded When they get to the gate, St. Peter informed them that
there will be a test to get into Heaven: they each will have to answer a
single question.

To the teacher, he says, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into
the Iceberg and sunk with all its passengers?"

The teacher thinks for a sec, and then replies: "That would have been the
Titanic, right?" St. Peter lets him through the gate.

St. Peter turns to the Garbage man, and, figuring that Heaven doesn't
REALLY need all the stink that this guy would bring into heaven, decides
to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

The garbage man guesses: "1228" "That happens to be right. Go ahead."

St. Peter turns to the Lawyer: "Name them."


296
Jokes Majaak / Paid in Full
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:30:29 AM »
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of
his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his
lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each
of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can
take all my money with me."

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding
away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and
confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I
needed $10,000 for a new baptistery."

"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I
only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine
at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he
exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that
coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."


297
Jokes Majaak / Guess Who
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:27:35 AM »
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged,
balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love"
stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He
then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all
over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the
balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm
sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.


298
Jokes Majaak / Out on a limb
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:19:20 AM »
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few
trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can
punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the
defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as
he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his
artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.


299
Jokes Majaak / Roast
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:16:45 AM »
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.
The butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor.
The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey,
if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for
the cost of the meat?"

The lawyer replied, "Of course! How much was the roast?"
The butcher replied, "$7.98."

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98.
Attached to it was an invoice that read:
Legal Consultation Service: $150.


300
Jokes Majaak / Court
« on: November 02, 2007, 03:13:54 AM »
"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence
for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness
on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the
witness.



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