This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Messages - desi_@hata
Pages: 1 ... 46 47 48 49 50 [51] 52
1001
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:39:19 AM »
A man walks into the bar really depressed.
The bartender asks him what his problem is.
“My dog just died and the damn vet charged me Rs 10,500.â€
Says the bartender: “Wow, that is pretty high. What did the vet do?â€
“Not much. I took the dog in there and told him, you got to help him Doc, this is the best dog I have ever had. The vet pokes at him for a few minutes and says, ‘I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.’ I said ‘Come on doc, this is my best dog, there’s got to be something you can do.’ The vet says, ‘OK, we can try one more thing.’ He goes over to this cage and grabs this cat and brings it over to the dog and swings it around the dog’s head. The vet says, ‘sorry but he’s gone. That’ll be Rs 10,500.’ I said, ‘What! Rs 10,500 to declare the dog dead?†He says, ‘Yeah. Rs 500 for the office visit and Rs 10,000 for the CAT scan.â€
1002
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:38:13 AM »
Once a doctor went to a mental hospital. he was walking by a room and saw a guy holding his ear to the wall, so the doc went to that guy and pushed him aside and tried to listen so the doc put his ear against the wall and said i don't hear anything. that guy slaped the doctor and said i'm listening to this wall for 20 years i don't hear anything you just came and how the hell can you hear something
1003
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:37:37 AM »
There was a farmer who grew watermellons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermellon patch at night and eat his watermellons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.
He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read: 'Warning! One of the watermellons in this field has been injected with cyanide.'
The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermellons are missing, but the sign next to his read: 'Now there are two!!!'
1004
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:37:15 AM »
A Girl to her boy friend
Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Mohabat ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
A Boy to his girl friend
chandni agar chand se hogi, to sitaron ka kya hoga
chandni agar chand se hogi, to sitaron ka kya hoga
Mohabat agar ek se hogi hai, to hazaron ka kya hoga
1005
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:36:44 AM »
Restaurant Manager: ' Why are you looking worried?'
Chef: 'There are lot of ants in soup and other cooked food. I do not know what to do.'
Restaurant Manager: ' Don't worry. I will annownce that today we are having Chinese Foo
1006
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:36:22 AM »
Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, 'Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?' To this the man replies,
' Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,'Wash Basin'
1007
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:35:42 AM »
Banta without a licence was going in the two wheeler. The traffic police caught him and asked for the licence. He told I know the IG. All police saluted him. After some time he says but the IG DOES not know me
1008
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:34:10 AM »
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
1009
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:33:26 AM »
US Assignment!!
Santa Singh and Banta Singh got a US software assignment. After reaching US both were staying in the same building. Santa on the first floor and Banta on the thirty fifth floor. One day the elevators were not working. Banta decided to tease Santa and he invited Santa on the phone for Sarson da Saag and Makke di Roti. When Santa reached the 35th floor using the stairs he was cheesed off to see a note on the door saying "How was the journey !!" Seeing this Santa got extremely annoyed and decided to take revenge. He put another note saying " Boss i cannot make it today!!!"
1010
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:32:04 AM »
Santa was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely, he asked the saree clad female,standing in front of him, "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was surprised to see Banta on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied" I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can t allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied," I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can t allow you to stay". He went towards the next house and without taking any risks, asked, " Do you have "grown up" daughters?". The Owner asked," WHY ?" Banta replied, " I wanted to stay here for a night
1011
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:30:51 AM »
A Man eater Tiger is rampant in a region of Garwal. Two famous hunter- Santa and Banta are called to hunt the beast down. 10 days go by with no luck. This is when Banta decides to change his hunting plan. Says Banta "main gaa de khal pa ke jaana hoon sher menu khaan aaveha, te main us nu maar davan ga" (I'll hide inside a cow hide, and shoot the Tiger thru it's mouth when it comes to eat me) So Banta leaves for the Jungle hiding inside the cow hide, with his rifle sticking out of the cows mouth. A day goes by, no sigh of Banta, a week later Santa gets worried, and a search party is sent to find him. They do find him ...stripped off his camouflage ... lying face first on the ground. The rifle is lying a few feet away. Santa is worried, he runs up to Banta ... gives him a shake and asks "kee hoya Banteya ... Sher aaya se"? Banta's feeble response is " Sher taan nahin aaya ... par eh das ... Saand kene khulla chadya si" (Tiger didn't show up, but tell me ... who let the Bull loose)
1012
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:29:55 AM »
ikk vari ki hundaa hai ki santa singh de pind kol macdonalds vaale apni dookaan kholde ne te bohat saaari advertisment karde ne apne pizza di
ad dekh ke santa singh da dil pizza khan non kardaa hai jaa ikk pizza order karda hai
pizzaa aa jaanda hai te serve karan vaala puchdaa hai
sir kinne piece kar davaa pizza de 6 or 12
santaa singh sochan lagg pendaa hai
2 mint sochan da kenhdaa hai
oye sirf 6 piece hi kari mere ton 12 piece khaa nahi hone
1013
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:26:57 AM »
ikk var di gall hai
banta singh school vich padhdaa hundaa hai te ik teacher aa ke lecture de jaandi hai " har aadmi da koi naa koi razz hundaa hai jis no oh chupan di koshish kardaa hai"
eh sun ke bante de dimag vich idea aandaa hai
oh ghar jaa ke aapni bebe nu kehndaa hai "mainu sab kuch pataa hai" bebe ghabraa (panic) jandi hai te bantaa nu 100 Rs de dindi hai
raat nu bapu aandaa hai bantaa bapu naa jaa ke kehanda hai mainu sab pataa hai " babu chup chap 500 Rs de dinda hai,bantaa nu eh scheme badi changi lagdi hai
saner nu doji (milkman ) aaundaa hai te bantaa no lalach aa jandaa hai banta doji nu kehanda hai mainu sab pataa lag gayaa hai mainu sab raz pataa lag gaye ne
doji de haththon doodh di drumi chott jandi hai te doji achanak ghabraa jaandaa hai
fer bade pyaar nal bantaa nu kehandaa hai
aajaaa putt bapu de gal naal lagg jaa
1014
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:23:49 AM »
ikk var di gal hai santa singh school teacher di job pakad lendaa hai " english subject"
oh bohat hi mash-hoor jo jaanda hai
us de school vich ik navan principal aaunda hai
us nu bhnanak pendi hai ki santaa singh bohat hi vadhiyaa angreji teach da hai
oda dil kardaa hai ki dekhe santa singh da way of teaching kis tara da hai oh enna mashhoor kyon hai
class de bahar jaa ke khidki kol chori chori dekhan lag penda hai
scene kuch is tara hai
santa singh: bolo bachcho" GADHA "
bachche: " GADHA"
SANTA: BOLO BACHO "GADHA, GADHE DE PICHE GADHA"
bache: "GADHA, GADHE DE PICHE GADHA"
santa : BOLO BACHO " GADHA ,GADHE DE PICHE GADHA, US DE PICHE (BEHIND) MAIN"
bache: " GADHA ,GADHE DE PICHE GADHAA, US DE PICHE MAIN"
princpal no bohat gussa aaundaa ki salaa santa ki padha reha hai
santa: bolo bachO " GADHA,GADHE DE PICHE GADHA ,GADHE DE PICHE MAIN,US DE PICHE SARAA DESH"
Principal ton reha nahi jaanda oh santaa no kehandaa hai aa ke mere room vich milo
santa singh room vich jandaa hai taan princi b gussa hon lagg pendaa hai ki tu ki padha reha hai
santa singh kehanda hai " sir main taa sirf spelling sikh rehaa si"
princi kehandaa hai kis de
santa kehanda hai
"ASSASSINATION " de
1015
« on: July 21, 2007, 05:00:05 AM »
GallaaN gulaabi te Rab Ne laal raNg keeta
Asai taaN sochdE si ki surkh bullaaN da lishkara hai
je kar gusse naal vi takde ne
taa vii yaar da roop lagda bada pyara hai.
1016
« on: July 21, 2007, 04:59:40 AM »
Ae chand chamkna chad vii de
teri chandni saanu staandi ae
tera varga hai usda chehra
tenu vekh ke usdi yaad aandi ae
1017
« on: July 21, 2007, 04:58:52 AM »
Soh rab di tenu pyar kita
hor kise nu kade bulaya vi nayi
tenu apni samaj ke dil dita
hor kise te dil kade aaya hii nahi
pyar tere de butte nu pani laya
hor butta pyar da laya hi nayi
teri yaad vich rehnda main sher likhda
hor aj tak sher banaya hi nahi
tu keh pagal ya keh chhalla
gusa gallaa teriya da kade aaya hii nahi
1018
« on: July 21, 2007, 04:58:04 AM »
Sohne sohne nain-naksh usde
vekhan waale bada pasand karde
sade naal kare oh pyar hass ke
eho jiha Rabba koi parband kar de
sanu vi sohna bana Rabba
nahi taan sohne banaane band kar de!!
1019
« on: July 21, 2007, 04:57:29 AM »
Sutte Jaal Shikari panchiyan te...
ud mor jave bara dukh lagda...
guddi jad asmane chadi hove...
tut dor jave bara dukh lagda...
kiti kamayi mehnat de naal hove..
lai koi chor jave te bara dukh lagda...
labeya mushkil naal ik yaar hove..
te nibayi kisey hoor nal jave te bara dukh lagda... !
1020
« on: July 21, 2007, 04:56:46 AM »
Raat Chup Chap hai par chand khamosh nahi
Kive keh davan ki ajj Rab faramosh nahi
Edan duba teriyan akhan vich main
Hath vich jaam hai par peen da hosh nahi
asi tenu pyaar kita eh sade pyaar di had si
asi tenu chaheya eh tere deedaar di had si
Mar gaye tavi khuliyan rahiyan akhan
eh kuch hoor nahi tere intzaar di had si!!
Pages: 1 ... 46 47 48 49 50 [51] 52
|
Show Posts